1. Friday, May 20, 2005

    Revenge of the Sith 

    directed by George Lucas
    starring Natalie Portman, Yoda, and Samuel L. Jackson

    the editors in my head say dont write dont write. they say everything youre going to write is gonna suck here let me give you a few lines of how bad its gonna be.

    they say things like take a day off, take a three day weekend. take a week off.

    which would be fine, but this isnt ten thousand dollar pyramid and yet those are clearly from the category “things you say about work.”

    blogging shouldnt be work. blogging isnt work. blogging is the hobby of writing down the things about your life.

    we all have several hobbies, walking, eating junk food, drinking rum, riding public transit, cell phoning virgins, being spontaneous, forgetting plans, eating fast food, drinking pop

    collecting sports cards, watching tv, listening to howard stern,

    reading email, analyzing porn, writing poems, cluttering ones home, counting the gray hairs on ones chest, giving magazines to the hot, showering three times a day, sleeping till noon, eating one meal a day, calculating how long this vacation can last, meeting new neighbors

    losing at fantasy sports, realizing that anything other than event tickets purchased off ebay is useless, collecting broken home electronics and computerware, answering questions from random babes on aim

    and yes blogging

    would you ever say, yeah im not going to chat with new hot girls on the web for three days. of course not. if blogging is work for you youre not doing it for the right reason. write something that will make you reread it later.

    theres a virgin whose coming over here tonight. at the tone the time will be six twenty two am, my body clock is all fuct. i saw the new star wars tonight and loved it. the virgin is going to come over here and we’re going to play a little game of green light red light which virgins usually win but ive had a week to work on new strategies.

    but now after seeing star wars, when i kiss her im going to try to will her clothes off by using the force

    while attempting to convince her that she needs to take up a nude hobby i mean new hobby.

    finger licking is a underrated hobby

    so is living room carpet runway walking

    as is the moaning edition of the hot cold game

    or the old favorite lets pretend youre not a virgin

    its six thirty on may twentieth which means the sun is not only above the horizon, its had its second cup of coffee.

    do i criticize star wars for having bad dialogue, bad acting, sterile interiors, and ridiculous errors?

    no more so than i would any big budget special effects movie.

    there used to be this race car game you could play with three of your friends. one screen. everyone gets a steering wheels, a pedal, and one shifter that was high or lo. i think it was called grand prix? i forget.

    after you raced a race and won some money or picked up a symbol you could improve either your speed, your traction, your pickup, or your durability or something.

    there was always some idiot who was never happy with an even car, he always wanted Max Speed

    if hollywood had its way there wouldnt even be a catagory called writing, especially in sci fi special effects movies otherwise you wouldnt have lines like this in films that cost over $100 mil to make

    Anakin: “You’re so beautiful.”
    Natalie Portman: “It’s only because I’m so in love.”
    Anakin: “No, it’s because I’m so in love with you.”

    it’s ironic that i rushed off to see this film as soon as i could because i didnt want anyone to give anything away

    its ironic because this is part three of a six part trilogy – of course we know whats going to happen in it!

    but as newsweek said somehow george lucas, who everyone had given up on, figured out that this was a jigsaw puzzle that everyone knew how it would turn out, and the fun was watching it come together.

    it was great fun.

    people will have their way with this movie because its filled with countless flaws, but that only reminds me of how Mad magazine made fun of the original so many years ago.

    they had luke asking chewbacca, isnt it great that we’re surrounded by marksmen and storm troopers and


    of them can hit us even at nearly point blank range?

    good movies lift you up away from mundane realities and question marks, and so when we’ve watched all these films of yoda for example walking oh so slowly with a cane one minute and flying around like a crouching tiger beating someones ass the next we just play along. as we should.

    one day hollywood will spend even a fiftieth of its budget on good writing for a sci fi action adventure instant classic film, but its my bet that it wont happen in my lifetime.

    but why be cynical, it could be happening now, sadly its in a galaxy far far away.

    the overflow + dc + alecia