1. Tuesday, June 21, 2005

    happy first day of summer 

    nothing more here will be true. had a job interview with an adult magazine today. awesome people. this will be twenty six minutes with tony because that pictures huge.

    was interviewed by two very nice women who said right away that they wanted to be very honest with me which was awesome because i wanted to be very honest with them. geographically and symbolically, in beverly hills playboys headquarters is on the extreme west of the city and hustler is on the extreme east. i was being interviewed in the very dead center.

    they said that i might have to work late into the night. i said, you call this work?

    they said if you havent noticed this whole company is made up of women.

    and a thousand off color jokes popped up in front of me. maybe two thousand. my entire life had been blessed with being in a situation where someone sets up the perfect line for a great joke and i was there to tip it in.

    but i figured that they had probably heard thousands of dumb jokes so i pointed to my college education of poetry, where, it was true, i was often one of the very few men in the classroom. which, may i say, is a great place for a young man to learn about love life romance and women.

    i liked the romantics and i liked the the victorians. thats my little joke. tennyson was my favorite of that era and young men should keep quiet and let the twenty five women go on about what they like in these poems and stories because that information is just as important as the teachers information on what makes the work noteworthy in the first place.

    i cant imagine having a different major or have attended a better school at a better time.

    during the interview my blog came up a few times because part of the job involves working on a few pages of their website occasionally. i explained to them that i was breaking one of the rules of blogging, the one that says you shouldnt tell your mom your friends your job or the people who you want to work with about your blog. and then i told them everything. people always want to know about the money, how much money can you make from it. i was all, sell out and you can make a fortune.

    im eating house of pies dutch apple pie right out of the box. im watching a tivo recording of regis and kelly from this morning. i know youre not supposed to tell your prospective employers about your blog but i like them, they like me, and everyones being honest about everything and ive got nothing to hide, infact if youre reading this for the first time hi. ive been in lots of interviews, mostly on the other side of the table but that was great.

    they told me that there would be another interview soon and asked if i had anything that would get in the way of that and all i could think was that i wanted to see batman tomorrow and maybe go to the beach, but can you really say that in an interview?

    what i like about this job is that just like at e! i will be right in the center of everything. libras love being in the center. moderators, mediators, ombudsmen, middle men, judges, middle linebackers. i like being in the center not because im nosy but because theres nothing i like better than teamwork and teams work best when everyone is involved and everyone is communicating in a trusting way.

    i was completely honest about my layoff which for some reason i hadnt thought out. as someone who has interviewed over 1000 people i was always amazed when people stumbled over the simplest questions, and there i was being unprepared with a very reasonable question, how come you got laid off.

    any form of rejection is embarrassing to me, especially when ive had years to win people over. but just like in the good book, sometimes the lord hardens our hearts. he said hed give us free will but he never said he wouldnt revoke it from time to time. in the bible pharohs heart is hardend each time he agrees to let moses’s people go. and each time he renege on the deal the lord douses egypt with bizarre and kickass curses, like locusts and plague and my favorite toads everywhere including in your stoves.

    toads!

    so i figure the good lord hardened my old bosses heart so that i would be inspired to create this, the busblog, that has crept up in every corner, to plague him, to creep him out.

    the job that i would have at this magazine would be a lot like my job at e! except it looks like i’d have a few other side jobs to help out the company and id get to work on macintosh computers, something i hadnt done since the advent of napster and my old 6300cd

    dude who i said id guest blog for tomorrow, lets make it the day after tomorrow cuz im worn out. it was a three hour interview in a warm room with two flies flying around and my ride over there was really hot. not fun hot, warm hot. but the whole time i was all i love summer and here it is summer and i like that im sweating a little in this car, my car, in my car driving down sunset blvd heading to beverly hills to apply for a job that i have a decent chance of getting. this the second situation that ive had this week. two great jobs. one sweating man. i ate a tums before i left and i was on time, and then i looked in my rearview and

    oh crap. i had shaved real good all around my head, the back of my head, my face, everywhere but the center of my head right in front. three happy little hairs were sprouting out and enjoying the great view. you can see everything the long one said. dude youre telling me the second longest one said.

    i knew exactly where the nearest drugstore was and i bought a disposable razor a ballpoint pen and a little pad of paper incase i needed to take notes. why my car didnt have them is beyond me, but theyre in there now.

    so they asked when id be available to start and i said july 1 which i should have researched because thats a friday and what idiot says hes available to start on a friday, especially the friday before the fourth of july which is usually either a half day or a day off for most companies. but i dont think they noticed. thanks to my buddy the fly who reminded me that it was summer and gorgeous.

    zulieka + jmo + heroine girl + dc