1. Friday, June 3, 2005

    twenty minutes with tony 

    good morning good morning. its 12:21 so stop me in twenty minutes.

    theres an end of an era. did you feel the disturbance in the force? yesterday i bought a car. yes me. the curator of the busblog. bus. blog. not usedcar blog. not limoriding blog. busblog. the true adventures of a average man living in hollywood california partying fighting crime and pulling chicks despite having no money no car and the messiest home youve ever seen. the novelty wears off when the dude has a car. anyone can get laid with a car.

    five years ive lived here in la without a vehicle of any sort. sometimes i would rent cars, sometimes i would borrow a car, sometimes people loaned me their cars when they went out of town, but mostly it was bus and subway. and im here to tell you that not only was it hardly Ever a problem, but most of the time it was ideal.

    so much so that even though i appreciate my buddy ken selling me his toyota at a very reasonable price, so cheap an unemployed man could afford it, im not bouncing off the walls with excitement. its not like i reached any finish line.

    to not have the responsibility of a vehicle that you need to fuel up, insure, park properly, drive properly, secure properly, maintain, wash, buy accessories for, is liberating.

    heres what you have to do when you ride the bus: get a bus pass every month.

    thats it.

    i even went through a long transit strike and im still here telling you that riding the busses and subways in LA was an unexpected experience that i was very pleasantly suprised by, and i would return to in a minute if i had to.

    for example, right now i have to worry about the meter that its at. i dont have to worry but i have to think about it. i dont have that much brainpower. despite the sweet comments people leave im no brainiac, ask the graders at santa monica college, the two year college that took me three to finish. i need all my brain cells for each task. i cant allocate any of them to rememember to move my car in an hour and twenty minutes.

    and remember how i said the goal of a summer vacation is to rid oneself of things one Has to do. well guess what, now i Have to move this car, i Have to register it, and i Have to insure it. once its registered i can park it on my street as its a permit only street, but thats three-four Have-tos today. with all the baseball games i went to this week and the date i went on yesterday, ive had a week of shit to do. and saturday im going to a party. so thats a have-to a day. i need a vacation from these have-tos. maybe i should drive somewhere secluded with this car of mine. but im not sure i can because i Haveto release Stiff next week. friggin havetos.

    maybe i will delay it a week and take a little break. the thing is i really wanted to have a 6/6 release date, but who cares that its on 6/6/05? even though its about hell. if i hadnt already promised people that it was coming out, id wait till next year to do this. but whatever.

    im expecting a phone call. hopefully it happens soon so i can go to the insurance place and then the dmv. its a beautiful car in great shape with 94k miles and a cassette deck which is perfect for my cassette adapter that plugs into my ipod and sounds waaaaay better than the fm transmitter that ive been using with the ipod in hot chick’s cars. it runs great. everything is good.

    but now that i have a car all of my accomplishments going forward will be somewhat less impressive, but i guess i’ll have to deal with that.

    and as we close out todays twenty minutes with tony i will tell you about this one email that karisa sent me about six months ago. for some reason i was depressed and karisa was consoling me and she said

    tony youve written two books, youve somehow wooed some of the hottest girls in la – some of whom were virgins!, you have a great place, you have great friends, your best friends are in the best rock band in la, you write one of the best blogs out there, and youve done most of it while on the clock at your high pressure tv network job, without having a car, youre an amazing man and i want you.

    ok she didnt say that last part, and i did a lot of that not on the clock but during my two government mandated 15-minute breaks, but it was nice to do it with a bus pass and only a bus pass.

    and if i wasnt unemployed id lower this shit and put those rims on it that spin when the car’s stopped.

    raymi + fil + splink