by the way, kristin agrees

with the big j and the others who commented about my list below (the one hundred greatest american men), and said that kerouac should be on the list.

i said “once i was handed bukowski it made kerouac look like an abecrombie fratboy who had none of the superpowers that his peers milked so beautifully.”

to which big j said

Nice photo essay, Ton. Really enjoyed that.

But likening Jack Kerouac to “an abecrombie fratboy”, that deeply offends me. It’s also wrongheaded, man. It’s a bad mix of exaggeration and hipsterish arrogance.

Kerouac is a giant, his writing is aesthetically beautiful, inventive, ecstatic and undeniably heartfelt, so I’m stunned that someone of your stature would put him down so glibly.

Kerouac means so much to me that I’m personally insulted by your snide little put-down. Where that comes from I cannot even begin to speculate. He has made a lasting and significant contribution to not only literature but culture. Your comment speaks a lot about the scope of your intention as a writer.

first of all if i get called a hipster again im going to move out of los feliz. i dont drink coffee i dont wear man purses, yes im intentionally bald but only because the girls love it. i dont wear white belts. ive worn the same pair of shoes every day for three years. i dont listen to my bloody valentine radiohead coldplay or sleater kinney outside of bars talking about new order. fuck mac fuck jamba juice fuck coffee bean and fuck the nu art. fuck cinespace fuck silverlake fuck vice fuck piercings fuck the return of cocaine and fuck vinyl.

so definately fuck jack fucking kerouac

the pretty facade of the beats. who didnt have the genius of ginsberg, the creativity of ferlinghetti, or the muscle of burroughs.

simply put keourac is the simple plan of pop, hes the costas of broadcasting, hes the jay leno of late night. popular but empty. soft and spineless.

every time that someone compares on the road to huck finn mark twain gets to travel to hell and poke jack kerouac in the fucking eye.

his stories arent sexy theyre not funny theyre not enlightening theyre not innovative and history has not been kind to him.

howl alone dwarfs the entire kerouac catalogue, justly, and hollywood has yet to fully exploit burroughs, so wheres that leave your boy? in history books solely. one hit wonder. lucky to be there. neal cassadys buddy. period.

charles bukowski singlehandedly could take on a army of jack kerouacs, and he provided likeable characters. when you put all your eggs in one basket, that of making yourself the main character, you better hope that people will like you and will be rooting for you. sal paradise? give me henry chinaski and an ugly girl.

and for all those people who will say i just dont like kerouac because he was a closet queer, i will say i would have loved it if he was cuz then at least his poems would have an edge, instead he was a closet straight and thats why the kids today couldnt care less about the beats because the first person they get shoved in front of them is kerouac and then they think that anything beat is so damn dull and not at all psychedelic or wild.

its like seeing rebel without a cause for the first time and you say uh and the professor has to say no really its great really, for its time, really

“the scope of your intention as a writer”

heres my intention as a writer. its to write shit down. hopefully in a way that the right girls will say i want him on top of me.

people have lots of reasons for writing. bottom lines. people say oh i want to learn to write better, and i practice, and i read so that… so that what? so that you can make money writing a book? big whoop depack shoprack is a successful book writer. thats your competition. stephen king is your competition and you will never beat him.

here is my intetion as a writer: to not bore my reader. to have people believe. to have people envy and dream. to help people have hope. to make them smile or laugh or gasp.

on the road makes me so happy that i was not on the road with jack kerouac. i first read it when i was riding couchettes through europe as i was turning 21. it was a gift because thats what people give twenty year olds as they head across the pond for the first time. alone.

the second time i read it aloud to prisoners at gitmo who then flushed themselves down the toilet.

people read jack keroac because theyve never read william carlos williams’s white mule or hems garden of eden.

its the same reason they listened to pearl jam.

blogebrity + the huffington post is suddenly hot + fimoculous

life isnt fair, my friends

not in the slightest.

sometimes you meet the most unbelieveable girl in the world and she whispers, i dont like soul food

and i just got engaged.

and flashes you a ring so big that engraved in it are the words

the diamond is the hardest natural resource on earth

the good news is kristin pony, pictured, likes soul food.

thus ends the good news if you know what i mean.

and the only way i can accept such harsh realities is to say something like God must have really loved that boy

and really hated you.

just kidding.

kristin sent me her graduation picture today via the electronic mail system and wrote me a little message and with her permission i will share this bit with you

college graduation was surprisingly anticlimatic.

i expected to feel something significant – a great sense of accomplishment, relief, or excitement about selling back my books for the final time.

i didn’t know whether to blame my lack of enthusiasm on the whirlwind of academic hell leading up to the big day, (a combined 50-some pages of papers due the same day as two of my finals,) or the fact that this really was just a stepping stone in my life on to bigger things next fall, (law school.) but all i really felt was annoyed that one more day of my life was going to be spent doing something school-related.

that day, i threw on a casual skirt and a tank. my mother arrived at my house, and i was forced into a dress. my sister, dissatisfied with my lack of eyeliner, re-did my makeup. i was in a somewhat less than happy mood (see picture.)

but then at convocation, they had fireworks. one minute i was completely annoyed, and the next minute, i was completely elated. those one million pages i had written about social capital, (i hate you, robert putnam) hadn’t been in vain. i was a college graduate. and they were having a colorful, noisy celebration in the sky in honor of my accomplishment.

i think more of life’s big moments should have real, honest-to-god fireworks.

the cubs keep losing too.

dave navarro + c’est what? is one years old + zulieka

my favorite blogger shut down her blog yesterday

without even an email asking permission.

you have my permission, baby.

but if youre going to start over, start a new one quick.

i havent done a twenty minutes with tony in a while so lets do one now but lets change the rules a little and say that at every minute the topic has to change.

ok, ready, go!

214am fifth of july. im watching man vs beast on the reality channel or some shit. somehow i remember seeing some of this but not all of it which blows my mind cuz how cant you remember watching a man run against a zebra and a navy seal going through an obstical course with a monkey.

215a kobiashi won the hot dog eating contest last night. the nathans one. hes the japanese kid who can just pound those dogs. hes racing a bear in this show. the bear is hungry but kobiaski is kicking his ass. poor bear.

216a i found this plastic lighter adapter that works great. you put your disposable lighter in there and lock the top and when you pull the trigger a nice strong get of blue flame comes out. i lost this thing like five years ago and im stoked to have it back.

217a jd drew might be out for the season, which is bad news for the dodgers but good news for me because i had traded him in almost all of my leagues. thats the good news the bad news is in the league that i want to win the most i traded him for jim thome who i wish was out for the season.

218a tomorrow i will pay the rest of my car off. i will be the owner of a car. its very odd. its like having a child sorta. you have to worry now and then where you left it all night. fuck that noise.

219a if the dems cant take down karl rove they dont deserve to lead this country. this is the easiest thing there is. the ironies are crazy. everything about this is crazy. and just like in the record biz, if everyone can get behind one thing then it can fly.

220a new topic. ok. public execution. i think this is a good idea. i dont see how its cruel and unusual. if it happens quickly i dont see how it could be cruel. and since weve done it all throughout history i dont see how its unusual. for treason they should zap you in a public square.

221a heaven. i think about heaven a lot. more than hell. i want to go to heaven but i have an evil heart. i cant help it. i could help it probably but i dont help it. thats why i conclude its evil. when i die i will cry cuz i know where im going.

222a for some reason today feels like sunday. why should it even matter to me, i dont have to go to no stinking work tomorrow. im supposed to go to vegas tomorrow. i dont want to go. i dont want to do anything. thats how all this trouble started.

223a these little one minute deals are interesting. you have to get to the root of th matter and move on. you cant really establish anything. but you dont get tied up in bs either. i think i will do it again. plys you get all your ideas out. which is good. experimentation is the best. so the three topless chicks told me that one time in dans room in frisco

224a does anyone watch the sundance channel through their directv? for some reason when i watch the Al Franken show the sound is super low. has anyone else experienced that? al’s fine. i like the show. i dont like the comedy bits. super lame actually. and its really nice to hear jerry noodling before and after commercials.

225a the grateful dead is something that i feel bad that the kids of today werent able to experience. in no way was i a dead head, but lots of my friends were and i probably heard every show the dead ever played since they were certain to play shows theyd never heard before, and i was there.

226a the best way to listen to music in college was while falling asleep buzzed drunk or stoned. i got high off life mostly, and a lot of second hand smoke. and i was poisoned a great deal. anyway i had a roommate who would put in a tape of something cool every night and wed fade away listening as the christmas lights twinkled

227a when did i start this nonesense. do i relaly have lots of things to say? of course. i had lunch with a cuban girl today. we bought her boyfriend a birthday gift at best buy and the dude was pretty cool to us. they have the Geek Squad there who were ok but could have improved.

228a yesterday renee and i ate at the santa monica fancy chinese restaurant. first we drank cuz it was crowded then we sat down. its fancy but for some reason they put up two flat panel tv screens in the “bar” area. there are no walls so sitting there i was distracted by the dodger game.

229a if i was the manager of a fancy restaurant in santa monica i would only turn the tv on if requested by a customer or if it was a killer game. an important game, that is. otherwise, put sintra in there and turn down the lights. must i do everyrhing?

230a ok four more to go. matt good asked me if i would review some records on his music blog. i said yes. the problem is i want everyrhing in the busblog. so this will be an exercise in sharing. something that i was taught as a child but ive obviously forgotten its value.

231a i must have the tv on at all times. with that said its amazing that my 35″ mitsubishi is not only hanging in there despite being 12 years old but it looks better than ever. back then japanese made tvs were very expensive but worth the money. this tv is proof of that.

232a one thing i expected more of when arnold became our governor was seeing him on tv more. i think ive seen him on tv twice since he became gov and both were last month. the first time was when he was being booed at smc and the other time was a few days later on jay leno talking about being booed. if i was arnold id get on tv a few more times.

233a speaking of santa monica, a place i spent many years. i still like it but im glad ive lived in hollywood the past four years. theres so much going on here and its so different than any other part of LA that i feel very grateful to have had the chance to be my age and in my situation here because its been killer.

234a ok last minute and we’re done. it wasnt that hard. it could be longer actually, like maybe spend two mintues per topic next time. whatever. it happened, it was decent, and now its done.

jane + bored housewife + kitty bukkake + i heart danielle