tsar is spreading like the michaelangelo virus

but instead of fucking up your harddrives theyre fucking up the pop program and reminding people that there is an alternative to the dave matthews band and the reconsituted easylistening pretending to be rock music.

tonight the boys play at Valentines in albany new york the states capital and the birthplace of the q-tip. ok i made that up, but tsar will be banging the gong and i hope that if youre nearby you will pop yr head into the club and say hey for me.

after a day off, sunday tsar will be in buffalo for Edgefest with Billy Idol, our lady peace, flogging molly, static x, and others including 30 seconds to mars.

tuesday they will be in toronto canada rocking The Horseshoe, and Raymi and Fil i want you to be there with the rest of all my GTA homiez and give me your honest analysis of my bros. thats tuesday Toronto 8/2 at the horseshoe. fill that fucker up and let em know that you want to be rocked.

Chicago, thursday Tsar will be in my hometown. 8/4 at the Bottom Lounge with the Queers. give em some love chi-town. cubbies won today in the bottom of the ninth which means go to the Bottom Lounge and see the band most likely to have a smoke machine.

they drive all night and on friday 8/5 tsar hits cincinatti’s Never on Sundays.

on Saturday they’ll be in Lancaster at Coach’s Corner. both of those OH shows they’ll be playing with Billy Carri. who’s Billy Carri? hellifiknow all i know is Tsar will bring it so get ready and i dare you to try to give it back.

8/12 they’ll be in Sayerville NJ at the Starland Ballroom opening for the world famous NEW YORK friggin DOLLS and on 8/13 they’ll open for the Dolls again at the House of Blues in Atlantic City and my only question is why why why did they have to do that as soon as i got a job? i would have hitch-hiked across the country to see that match up.

but apparently i wont have to travel far because at the end of August the Dolls will have Tsar open for them again on 8/29 at the HOB in San Diego and 8/31 at the HOB at downtown Disney.

and now you know the rest of the story

toronto + i + want + your + sweet + ass + at + the + tsar + show + on + tuesday + nite

omg guess who i just had lunch with

omg danielle. omg shes such a spaz she called me i swear ten times on her way up here from san diego, and five just to say that she omg hates the 101.

we dined at the new palms thai which still has pain in the ass parking, if you call buck fiddy valet pain in the ass. i guess its not in LA-terms but it is for thai-terms.

didnt matter the food was killer and the parking dude was all thank you for bringing this wonderful girl. i was all, danielle spin around for the nice man, which she did perfectly on cue.

she had the fried tofu which she said were perfect as always cuz theyre crisp on the outside, tender on the inside, without even a hint of grease.

i told her its because the take hairless virgins and roll them in the wok with the food to suck all the grease and impurities out and whats left is the fried tofu miracle which never has enough sauce for her tastes but thats what waitresses are for.

i had the tom kha kai cuz im predictable, and chicken flied lice cuz im racist and we gabbed about her trip back east and the journey to the hamptons which she says makes beverly hills look like a ghetto

and she said how much she missed me and i told her how much i missed her and she said omg im so fat and i was all omg youre not and she was all look just look and i was all baby im looking have no fear about that

and i put my hand under the table and i gave it a good knock and i said see lil tone loves women and youre all woman and not in the least bit fat so eat your fried foods and drink your non diet cola and lets clink our glasses to hollywood.


afterwards we drove over to my po box and took some pictures and found a little shady area and a flat with a blue door and we clicked a few dozen photos and even took a lil three minute film that i will have for you tomorrow or monday which ever comes first.

and just as quick as she was here she was gone and i will miss her and shes a goddess and such a free spirit and so fun that i want all her dreams to come true

and maybe when you see this film you will have a greater understanding of how cool she is and how willing she is to have fun even in front of the camera.

and tonight i will eat drink and be merry with my two exes and tomorrow i will watch a movie with the cuban girl and sunday i will pray because monday i start my new job,

and summer, thanks for being there it was like jumping jack flash a gas gas gas.

one two.

danielle photo shoot + danielle’s unloved blog + danielles favorite blogger

chris c. has these questions for me

Q. What would you do without the blog if it were taken away and you had no means whatsoever to express yourself to the public?

before blogging i wrote in spiral notebooks and then i made websites and i also wrote for my college newspaper.

so if blogging wasnt around i would probably follow my former dream of being a pro journalist. but the problem with pro journalism is you cant really write exactly what you want to write. for example, lets say i had established myself as some kickass genx columnist and someone like the la times actually hired me five years ago. do you really think theyd allow me to mid-column say, man, i could really use clipper girls cousin to call me up right now and beg to lick my nuts like she did the other day?

not really likely. so thank god for blogging cuz i could really use clipper girls cousin to call me up right now and beg to lick my nuts like she did the other day.

Q. What is more important giving love or receiving love? you can’t say both, you have to pick one that is truly more important. I know you’re a giver.

well im a sap, so i believe that when you give love you automatically receive it.

i also have serious issues with receiving. so as much as i enjoy seeing a pretty girl get down before me and pull down my dark side of the moon pajama bottoms and unleash my deadly weapon, i cant really allow her to pay that much attention to me for very long. i feel selfish i feel greedy i feel self consious i feel ungentlemanly. however when the shoes on the other foot, lets say, i have no problem taking my time and letting her imitate fat joe and lean back and lean back.

one of the best gfs i ever had really loved giving love. she said, lets see if you can make it through a whole inning of me just doing this and she did her thing and i couldnt receive for that long. it was fun to try but there was obviously something wrong with me because i pushed her over and gave it to her, twice as good because i totally appreciated her little science experiment.

Q. Why do you personally think so strongly about having such a strong political stance not only personally but with the Blog and do you think the celebrities or musicians should use their own stages for political agendas or beliefs?

firstly you shouldnt believe the things you read on blogs, especially when people talk politics. dont believe when they talk about sex, or money, or religion, but definately dont believe them when they write about politics.

for example, i dont believe that in real life the instapundit is as one-sided and insincere, and as unfair and as dishonest as he is in his blog. i feel the same about charles johnson, and i feel the same about even rush limbaugh.

i think in real life if you were in a tavern with any of those gentlemen and if you werent surrounded by a bunch of good ole boys and if you sorta sighed and saw the president on the tv but you couldnt hear him cuz the jukebox was playing and if you said what an ass, i bet you they would probably laugh and agree. but they wouldnt dare do that in their blog cuz they make money and theyve become popular defending him.

similarily ive gotten far more props for bashing him than i probably deserve, cuz seriously how difficult is it to point at the retards in washington and say omg wtf.

i think most people’s stances are so strong currently because theres such a huge divide between left and right right now with very little middle ground. at this point you either believe that the administration lied to go to war and theyre lying about the progress of the war – or you believe them. you either are in favor of the right for women to choose what happens inside their womb or you dont. you either think this administration is taking this country down a rotten horrible fucked up path, or you think anythings better than kerry/dean/clinton – even this.

so i dont think my stance is unusually strong because it feels like if you dont like bush you probably reeaaaaalllly dont like bush. nobody is running around saying “yeah this war in iraq is a joke, but dubya’s domestic policies and programs are making us all rich, what a visionary, man, huh.”

other than oil producers and haliburton, who’s really benefitting from these last five years? the fcc’s slush fund? flag makers? and who’s gonna benefit from bush 20 years from now? is that such a crazy question to ask? i dont think so.

should celebs and musicians talk about their political beliefs? let me put it this way, for some reason we stick a mic in front of celebs and musicians so if they choose to keep it real and actually have an educated discussion with the prettyboy from entertainment tonight, i dont see a problem with it. and if a rocker wants to say a few thoughts onstage i wouldnt mind, especially if its followed with some killer song appropriate to the rant they just delivered.

some of the best songs out there were based in politics. i dont see why people should shy away from speaking their mind about anything that theyre serious about. on stage or in the blog. especially if theyre being honest and emotional about it.

Q. Have you ever had sex with a girl for the first time when she was really intoxicated and then had second thoughts about your actions the following day? Not because she was not hot, but that you might have taken advantage of her inebriation?

in college i had a major crush on a super hot chick who totally loved to party. she was friends with some of us Daily Nexus kids as well as some of the KCSB radio djs. one day the Nexus and KCSB had a sloshball game, which is softball with kegs at each base. needless to say after the game everyone was wasted. i took her to her place and started kissing her and she kissed back. i felt her up and she felt me up. but it was obvious that she was far more sloshed than i was.

i picked her up and put her in her closet but she slumped back down. i kept whispering, youre so drunk im gonna go home. and she kept slurring, no no, come here. but her eyes werent open and she was minutes away from passing out. it was obvious i could have done anything with her that i wanted. but even then, horny as i was, and as drunk as i was, and as lucky as i felt to be making out with such a blazing hot chick i knew in my heart that it would be wrong to do anything other than go home and lock the door after me.

a few weeks later she was drunk and stumbled to my house and knocked on my door and climbed into my bed. again she was wasted and sprawled out like a barbie doll. i really liked this girl and of course i wanted to do it with her. the problem was it wasnt going to be with her it was going to be to her, and even though she had come to my house i knew i should just chill out and not touch her. i kept thinking, if this girl really likes me she would bone me sober – which might be in the morning.

even then i knew that some girls dont know how to say yes and they feel like they have to get drunk or wasted from drugs to feel ok to have sex but i didnt want to be part of that. hot as she was. im no angel, but this black man knows better than to get himself in a situation where a girl could say i was drunk and he raped me while i was passed out.

theres tons of willing sober hot chicks out there. if lyle lovett could bang julia roberts and then marry her, you and i can bang pretty much anyone we want. sex is merely a numbers game, the more dates you go on, the better your odds. no need to break the law or take advantage of lightweights.

part two of the tomdog interview is here

fook the people + kovixen + paige + happy birthday doc and wil