1. Wednesday, July 6, 2005

    bunny mcintosh last night announced on her blog 

    that she is now engaged to be married to mr richard delicious.

    there is a picture of her beautiful ring on her buzznet page.

    i knew how in love these krazy kids are when ms mcintosh flew out here to get a job on a cartoon network cartoon show. her favorite, if i remember correctly. one that i watched and did not understand at all.

    someone said, you werent stoned enough.

    so then one day i accidentally ate a half tray of hippie brownies. i didnt know they were hippie brownies. i just thought they were really bad.

    i found myself pacing in my living room. then i saw that i was doing little laps around my place, so i sat down and turned on the tivo. i recalled the cartoon show and the advice my friend had given me so i turned on that cartoon show again.

    it was still way over my head.

    bunnys ahead of the game. thats one reason i love her. she is the cool artschool girl who ends up at athens living in an old folks home to save on rent. shes the one who was on the mtv game show where they went to her house and when they showed her kitchen she pointed to the eviction notice that she swears was just taken care of.

    shes the one who has musical equipment in her room and lipstick on the mirror and 80s clothes and socks on her arms and a naked sister in the company sink.

    the redheaded mormon got the gig at the cartoon show in la and decided that she loved her man too much to move away from him as he finished his final year of college and i said why did you interview then? and she was all blah blah blah which is latin for im in love dont bother yourself with silly details. and thats sweet.

    if i was president of the united states id seriously make engagements five years long. if gays cant be married then there is no sanctity of marriage, therefore the government should be allowed to put all sorts of restrictions on marriage and therefore engagements should be five years.

    im sure richard is perfect for her, but still, half of marriages end in failure and if the Right tell us that the bedrock of our country is the family and at the root of that is the sanctity of marriage. if half of our bedrock splits apart then wtf with the current rules?

    by the way i agree that the bedrock of civilization is the family, and im far more hopeful for the likes of bunny and richard than i am for oh say ben and jen who would have to be engaged for seven years under my reign due to their celebrity status. and i would take away tax benefits for having children. unless they have mohawks. or really good blogs.

    i finally found a housesitter so i am on my way to las vegas.

    im going there to write a secret chapter for the upcoming book Stiff.

    for your ass.

    and to sit in a hot tub with a seventy five cent becks and see if enlightenment will bless me with a kiss on the cheek.

    its very special place that place.

    which is why id outlaw quickie weddings there.

    congrats to bunny and richard, i’ll have a becks for each of you tonight.

    melting dolls + verbungle + oakparkmaster + welch has a great story about to come out [UPDATE: it’s up, and thats how you write, kids]