lets get a few things straight.

there are more than a few blogs out there that are busblog ripoff sites. and thats nice. Imitation is the highest form of blahblahblah, and all that. and hell, if im going to preach and teach and be all righteous on this shit then nobody should be surprised if a few people actually take me up on it.

however, never have i said that you should write in all lowercase

or break yr lines for emphasis

or take all your pictures from yahoo news

or have fake interviews with inanimate objects like your blog

hi blog

fuck you tony you dont talk to me anymore dont talk to me now

if anything ive tried to help you be more comfortable in being yourself and telling your stories and developing your style. its great that you like mine, but its mine, and i will whip your ass at being tony pierce any day of the week stoned or sober, employed or free.

i appreciate the props but realize you cannot blog like that forever and know that you will never be as popular long-term as the person who youre imitating. ask john cafferty and the beaver brown band.

and you damn well arent in the position to “nudge” me or “correct” me in anything other than spelling, but guess what, i have a spell checker right here and i dont use it so what makes me think im going to listen or be influenced by you?

i do the influencing here.

whats fascinating is some have had the guts to think that after five posts on their brand new blog that they can teach me a thing or two about writing or blogging or livin. as if!

on the fourth of july of last year i was given a gmail invite by one mr jason sutter of blogger. on that day i set it up so that every time i made a post it would get emailed to my gmail and put in my folder called “posts”. since last year at this time i have made 1,078 posts. you dont even have a tenth of that.

you dont even have 78.

some of those posts ended up in a self published book that some (maybe you, paid real money for), one of those posts ended up in the washington post.

you know who gives me advice? nobody. my mother does. she begs me not to curse. i love my mother more than anyone in the world and i dont even listen to her so why on earth do you think id listen to you, you who steals from me without kissing my ass properly.

if im number one in your blogheart i need to be number one on your blogroll. if youre jacking my style if youre stealing my design if youre biting my look or sound or technique my name needs to be in big letters at the top of your shit. period.

wanna call me the king of bloggers? that’ll do. even king call me the king. he doesnt put me on top of his list, but that may change and xtx rules so im cool with that.

dc puts me on top, right above lileks and thats about right. fuckr. and dc’s done that for a long time and he doesnt even bite my style so doubly good for him. and guess what, hes been linking me for years and his writing has only gotten better. why? because hes working on his shit, not mine.

YeahYeahs put Lick way up top on her shit and kept it there even though we havent done Lick in a long time. but notice on her links of people im on top and she even prefaces my name with a “mr.” good for you baby. props right back at you.

flagrant has me as her only external link. now thats love. “emergency exit” is how she links to me, and guess what, any time someone asks me about bloggers shes one of the few who i talk about. its called mutual respect. shes got her own thing going too and shes been consistently kickass over the years and im stoked that we might get an interview out of her soon cuz its been far too long.

ive dropped a notch on paige‘s blog, but its below goldenfiddle, which is fine cuz i dont visit bro enough and its a nice reminder. ive also dropped below anti on alecia’s but i think shes hot for him so thats cool too.

yes im vain and competitive and flawed and fucked. it makes me happy to be linked on the sidebars of instapundit and little green footballs as well as matt and jen good, and i love having gregs portrait of me on raymis blog.

how many bloggers do you know who are on such a wide spectrum of blogs like that without selling out, without pandering, without blatantly kissing ass.

therefore if youre going to come here every day and go back to your blog with what youve learned you better damn well put my name and my link up where it belongs: far up top for everyone to see. else youre frontin and thats wickeddy wack yo.

and if you want to pretend that im famous like oprah, im cool with that too.

yes links mean a lot to me which is why i link back as much as i do.

probably because i know how much they mean to you too.

4rilla is nervous about stern + small island girl + bart + tsar was on KROQ last night