1. Tuesday, August 30, 2005

    people ask me questions all the time 

    about lots of things but they hardly ever ask about secrets. tell us a secret, they never say.

    heres a secret i learned from bukowski and salinger and twain and de maussapant or however the hell you spell his name: give the readers a reward for making it to the end of your shit.

    if youre smart you’ll give em little treats on the way to the end, but definately you better give their asses something as a sign of thanks if they rode with you all the way to the finish line.

    by the way, yes, tsar did just get three stars in rolling stone and yes they are playing at the house of blues in anaheim wednesday (tomorrow) with the new york dolls

    flagrant disregard is one of my all time favorite bloggers. i recently watched ryne sandberg get his number retired at wrigley and if i was smart i would make a busblog hall of fame before some other asshole gets to it. and if i had such a hall of fame flagrant would be on my first ballot.

    i know that might be a surprise to you because most of you dont read her, and its not because i dont link to her enough or talk about her enough, its because either you people dont believe her or cant figure her out or hate the fact that she doesnt have pictures (even though you let instapundit get away with it).

    anyways todays entries are so bittersweet to me because i always love it when she writes but i never know when to take her seriously when she talks about her suicidal fantasies and her depression.

    today i took her seriously and it made me a little sad.

    i never know how to write to her, i never know what to say, because i watch how she disects the things that even her brainiac shrink says to her and she destroys people simply with her thoughts. everyone is an idiot to her, and i can see that.

    but since im comfortable with my idiocy and im cool with my asswipeness, i just write her anyways. sometimes im just saying hi. sometimes im just letting her know that im out here, but lately ive been trying to get her to do a podcast with me, not because any of you would care, but i would care, especially if some tragic accident happened to her, because sometimes you can create your own fate and i would hate it if her mind won the fight that she sometimes seems to be losing.

    im a multidimensional fool (aka clinicaly insane). im part xbi superhero who seriously would drive out to the valley and go to target for her and leave her packages at the door, but im also part gonzo journalist who is far more interested in talking to my favorite bloggers than you probably know.

    and then im part blogging fool and i know what makes for an interesting blog and podcasts definately helps out a blog because it give dimension to an otherwise two-dimensional medium.

    just today at work someone was saying that someone else was saying that my real voice doesnt match up to my writing voice and i should knock it off with the podcasts, but i disagree. ive heard bukowskis voice and i dont care that it doesnt match up with his writing voice. this whole nonsense is supposed to be about transparancey. im not trying to win you over so you will like me, im trying to win you over so you will shower me with gifts and so the ladies will make hot love to me.

    have you ever heard someone say, yeah i was gonna suck him off so good — until i heard his voice.

    the ladies are going to hear it sooner or later, and its nothing that im ashamed of, its a normal voice. i cant help it that it doesnt match up with the blogvoice. speaking of which i have talked with flagrant once and her voice didnt match up to her blogvoice either. did i care? only slightly cuz i thought she was goofing on me by handing the phone to her sister or something.

    whatever. at some point people have to trust each other, and i dont know how i can establish a greater trust with ms disregard than the fact that ive been in her corner for years and ive kept the secrets of tons of people in the meantime and i feel like ive conducted myself online pretty much as a gentleman.

    far as i know.

    the reason i would like to podcast interview her is because shes fascinating to me, and if her blog is even 75% true i have probably 200 questions that i would love to scratch the surface with and if at any time she didnt want to answer a question she could say Next and i wouldnt take it even the slightest bit personally.

    her blog is such a mystery, maybe one reason she is hiding out is if indeed its a fakeout blog and shes really some dude. in that case id be happy if she just hid out.

    if she was really what we see, and if she really wanted to check out, and if she really did check out one day – we all will, i suppose – then id be so bummed if she didnt give us some of the answers to some of the questions that some of us, me in particular, have about her life and her mindset. cuz shes got some things she could teach us, i bet ya.

    is that selfish of me?

    yes.

    lots of life is selfish, i just hope its not impolite.

    since my book is being factchecked and i had nothing better to do tonight, i got off my lazy black ass and did a photo essay about the sunset junction

    in honor of sk smith who turned 29 this weekend.

    so here it is a new sunset junction photo essay + planet lisp has some pics + as does lori + i saw marrisa there but i was too drizunk to say much other than hi + i was spotted but not approached + twice!