1. Wednesday, August 3, 2005

    twenty minutes with tony 

    starring your long lost pal tony as himself.

    its twelve fiddy three and i really should go to sleep but im fucking insane and not only have i not showered after a loooong day of some crazy shit including a trip to the valley doing manual labor, but after i write you im going to do some research for some shit im going to wake up early tomorrow to write for my job.

    have i told you that i love my job? i do.

    what i love is i started the job a day before i started, that ive had homework every night, that ive stayed up until past 3am every night, happilly, and not fucking took much of a break since monday.

    i love that everything that i do makes sense, is important, is appreciated, must be done hard fast and brilliantly, and i love that im surrounded by smart people who are also giving a hundred per cent.

    i had a marching band director who said its easier to give 100% than 95% and its so true.

    i love that ive been there three days and every day ive had to meet with the owners of the company and been in meetings with them and i love that they treat everyone as equals. which isnt to say that they’re all hippy-dippy and lalalala, theyre not, but it means that you have two minutes to capture their attention and it better be right on or they’ll tell you its not right on.

    its la. which might mean its ny, but its definately not anywhere else.

    on arli$$ or jerry mcguire the guy would flip open his phone and say “talk to me”, these people dont even have time for that. just talk and make it good.

    this morning i had to present some ideas that i had worked all night on. in a way it was almost like a pitch meeting where you say your peace and they would pick it apart. they didnt really say nice bullshitty things, they went at it like they knew the client would go at it, trying to find the weak parts. dentists dont jab the healthy parts of your tooth, they try to figure out how deep the cavity is. its not personal and i didnt take it that way. i want to find out the fucked up parts too.

    so i kept pitching and listening and defending and editing, and it was awesome.

    when i was a sales trainer sometimes someone would ask, “how do i develop the thick skin that you seem to have?”

    and i would say, get rid of the skin entirely. have no skin. when someone brings up an objection let it go right through you as if you were a skeleton. nothing sticks to you. you hear it, you get it, it goes through you, but you take what they send and you send it back.

    its like playing pong. boop. beep. boop. beep. only an idiot would get all pissed off and take things personally during a pong game.

    heres my idea. boop.

    youre missing something. beep.

    its missing for a reason. boop.

    your reason isnt fully true. beep.

    sure it is, these guys did it that way and it worked, so did these guys. boop.

    and smile. its pong. you get paid to play pong. beep.

    so today i made my pitch, i got to show off some of my bizarre creativity, i even made two dummy ads that they didnt even ask for. then i was in a staff meeting which was great cuz everyone was playing speed pong. then we loaded up the truck with crazy shit for our secret location.

    and then i found myself in flagrants neck of the woods in a uhaul in the blazing summer heat. and then i worked all day moving shit and building shit and talking to two very cool surfer dudes who are about to enter ucla next month and i got to pick their brains about what its like to be a highschool kid in america today whose about to go to college: its very different – these two dudes didnt even know what blogs were, which isnt surprising, if you were a young surfer living on the beach you probably wouldnt be interested in blogs either.

    then i found myself on the 101 at rush hour near the 405 (the busiest freeway intersection in america) and it wasnt very bad at all.

    then i found myself listen to sean hannity and being very impressed by him because he was telling america all the things wrong with republicans right now. beep.

    and then he said, so libs, dont think that youre the only ones who can say that youre the intellectual party because some republicans have what it takes to fully do a laundry list of what their party needs to do to be better. booop.

    then i found myself walking through a bad part of town after dropping off the rental car and considering walking all the way home cuz even though i had basically gotten a workout moving and building and lifting all day, im a slob and a three mile walk might do me good.

    but then i found myself climbing aboard the vermont rapid bus, putting my buck twenty five in there and enjoying the air conditioned ride till it got to los feliz

    and then i found myself turning on the tv but not the sound and thinking youre in a very weird place right now emotionally and spiritually you should either beat off or catch up on your emails and fantasy baseball. which i did. until ashley of all people called.

    and then i thought about how i havent talked to karisa in a long time

    or had two blog posts in a row in a long time

    and then i found myself worrying that my readers will leave me if i cant figure out a way to knock two out a day.

    and then i found myself thinking, just write. nobody writes like you. they’ll be back. people leave all the time and come back and theyre always happy when they return.

    and then i found myself eating apple sauce.

    and then i found myself blogging. which is the easiest thing ive ever done ever, if you dont count fingering those drunk girls the other night until completion. but who on earth wouldnt count that.

    bloop.

    sorry that was twenty four minutes. i suck.

    prufr0ck + beautiful sorta + abrasivist + fil