1. Monday, September 12, 2005

    dear brownie, 

    yeah, i heard the bad news that you got fired, er, had to resign.

    tough luck bro.

    i sent you flowers and a care package but it got sent back, along with 17 tons of medical supplies.

    stop doing that!

    it’s also a pisser that everyone found out about your doctored resume.

    you said you were a professor?

    nice, dr. brown. i love your soda every time im at canters.

    but seriously, to have your lies outted in Time magazine must truly suck. especially after you just came off a bad week where because of your blunders hundreds of people died and thousands suffered.

    talk about rubbing salt in a wound, huh doc?

    well at least you have a few brownie-backers, two that i can think of, the first being the President of the United States who a) never fired you (which means you can put this experience on your resume, proudly) and b) bought a few Brownie, heck of a job tshirts from my cafepress store – profits go to the red cross – hurry supplies wont last long.

    oh wait, and c) totally proved that you werent the fall guy, you were the straight man in this neverending comedy

    Bush at 3:39 pm EST:

    Question: Have you accepted the resignation of Michael Brown or have you heard about it?

    Bush: No, I have not talked to Michael Brown or Mike Chertoff – that’s who I talk to. As you know, I’ve been working.

    Bush at 3:42 pm EST:

    I can do more than one thing at one time. By the time I’m finished president, I hope you will realize that the government can do more than one thing at one time, and individuals in the government can.

    – via thinkprogress

    and then of course youve got the Instapundit, totally bro-ing you.

    not only has he not mentioned your firing, i mean resignation, but he hasnt even uttered your name in the last two days.

    which of course means that he hasnt told his gazillion readers that the president replaced you with that brainiac who two years ago told the country that the best way for them to defend themselves was through plastic sheeting

    and duct tape.

    thats right, duct tape man has snagged your job and the worlds greatest blogger is keeping it on the down-low.

    thats a true friend if ever there was one.

    i guess professors stick together.

    and brownie, enjoy your Stiff margarita(s)

    vivian + aaron clemens + fox force five + attack kat