1. Saturday, September 10, 2005

    for some reason when Bill Maher was on every night, 

    it wasnt of much interest to me. it was because it was set up differently with four people and maher all yelling at each other.

    the format is slightly different now, and it still could be improved (i’d like to see more right-wingers, but apparently they’d rather get stroked on fox news than get torn apart by maher – in fact the best scenario i could imagine would be two repubs and only one dem which would make it an even two-on-two counting the host).

    but the opening monologue is usually short and sweet, the guests are usually pretty decent (this week he had, among others, george carlin and kurt vonnegut – who both looked and sounded tired – aka old – but they had some good insights)

    and maher is a master of the knockout punch, which is generally in his closing minutes during the new rules/summary.

    last night this was his summary, which you can download here.

    [Maher, Speaking to President Bush]
    Now I kid, but seriously Mr. President, this job can’t be fun for you anymore. There’s no more money to spend, you used up all of that. You can’t start another war because you also used up the army, and now, darn the luck, the rest of your term has become the Bush family nightmare – helping poor people.

    Yeah, listen to your mom. The cupboard’s bare, the credit card’s maxed out, and no one is speaking to you.

    Mission accomplished!

    Now it’s time for you to do what you’ve always done best, lose interest and walk away, like you did with your military service…and the oil company…and the baeball team.

    It’s time. Time to move on and try the next fantasy job.

    How about cowboy? Or spaceman?

    Now I know what you’re saying. You’re saying that there are so many other things that you as the president could involve yourself in. PLEASE DON’T.

    I know there’s a lot left to do. There’s a war with Venezuela and eliminating the sales tax on yachts, turning the space program over to the church and social security to Fannie Mae, giving embryos the vote, but sir, none of that is going to happen now. Why?

    Because you govern like Billy Joel drives.

    You perform so poorly I am surprised you haven’t given yourself a medal.

    You’re a catastrophe that walks like a man.

    Herbert Hoover was a shitty president, but even he never conceded an entire metropolis to rising water and snakes.

    On your watch, we’ve lost almost all of our allies, the surplus, four airliners, two trade centers, a piece of the Pentagon, and the city of New Orleans.

    Maybe you’re just not… lucky?

    I’m not saying you don’t love this country, I’m just wondering how much worse it could be if you were on the other side.

    So yes, God does speak to you and what He is saying is “Take a hint”.

    transcription via Red Goatee + dont blink: instapundit (slightly)critical of a Bush decision – yay! + but no love for the Daily Show – wtf?!