1. Saturday, September 10, 2005

    im watching this mtv concert 

    that im sure a lot of you are watching too. all these artists are singing their songs and theres no commercials, and they have a crawl on the bottom but its not obnoxious. finally mtv is doing the right thing.

    four hours theyre going to show all the big stars playing music to raise money for the victims of the hurricane. so lets do a twenty minutes with tony for them and in the memory of everyone who died in the gulf coast due to this hurricane. k, go.

    first let me remind you that im still selling “brownie, youre doing a hell of a job” tshirts and mugs here and the profits (about $5 an item) will go to the Red Cross.

    its so hard not to hear this music or watch the newscasts and listen to the people and not think about politics. and before anyone gets the wrong idea i want everyone gone. even the black mayor and you know i loves my people. yeah he had busses and they sat there in the water. they had the new orleans emergency disaster chief on bill maher last night and he said those busses were actually used for as long as they could use them and they went back to that lot and then the levees broke and they couldnt get to them any more.

    the mayor was getting interviewed in the local paper yesterday and he said there were more busses on higher ground but there wasnt anyone who could drive them and it wasnt like all the roads were usable to get to the superdome, but the Right want to blame anyone but Bush and FEMA so fine, fire the mayor. fire the governor too.

    even the instapundit is doing his best to be a company man and try to give as many links as he can that say that FEMA has always had a history of taking a few days to get to emergencies – as if thats kosher – but i hear what hes saying: the ball is in the court of the locals for the first three days.

    but after that, the superheroes are supposed to arrive. and they didnt arrive, glenn. people sat in their attics, people faught on the streets, people waded in that shit waiting for the guys in the white hats to swoop down and get them.

    but it didnt happen.

    fire the mayor and the governor. burn them at the stake for all i care. but how can the Feds be blameless if canadians can make their way from canadia and the calvary cant get there from america?

    the critics have asked me whats my point, where am i going with this, why cant i talk about fingering coeds, why do i have to keep kicking the dead horse

    because the horse aint dead fuckers.

    the mayor has been on the radio, hes been on tv, hes been everywhere. he answers the tough questions and sure he blames others, hes got a right to blame some others. he might not have prepared perfectly for the biggest disaster of all time, but his people did get to where they were supposed to get to and the feds didnt come, and when FEMA arrived, they made things worse!

    do you really want me to list their fuckups?

    people go on and on about oh the mayor is a dem and the governor is a dem, did you know that the mayor was a republican up until right before he ran for mayor? did you know that he didnt endorse the governor in 2003 and instead backed the republican congressman Bobby Jindal? did you know that he, like me, only reluctantly endorsed john kerry in 2004? not really much of a dem.

    but people need to affix labels on people and stick people in boxes, so there you are, fine, hes a dem. one that doesnt really like kerry and who didnt like the governor even before she also dropped the ball on this emergency.

    things arent always black and white, but sometimes theyre closer than we want them to be. for example, i dont want to have to continually acknowledge to the world that my president is a fucking retard. and i really hate to admit that hes a pansy-assed coward.

    why is it that ive seen kanye west on tv four times more than ive seen my president?

    someone said, bush was too scared to meet with cindy sheehan of course he was too chickenshit to go to new orleans.

    and what would he say there anyway? he doesnt say anything inspiring, ever. he doesnt know what to do when the shits fucked. he doesnt care about black people and he doesnt care about white people either. i hate to say it, but what do you want me to say, he hasnt disproven it.

    sometimes people say fucked up shit about me thats totally wrong but feedback is feedback and after kanye said that i woulda gotten on tv and said kanye congratulations on your grammy and on your new cd thats about to drop but how about leaving the governing to me. and bam people would have said, damn. and then i would have told all the white people in my staff to stay away from me for about two three days and i would have only hung out with blacks.

    image is everything when youre a leader and how fucked up is it that a blogger in his pajamas has to continually coach the president of the united states on how to do his fucking job.

    in my new job im a quasi leader and on week one i was called in and told that i have to get my shit together because in business just like in politics image is everything and if the kids see me blogging or talking to hotties on the phone, even if my shits together, it wont look good, so i need to get organized and not just that but Look organized, look like i know what the fuck im doing, communicate with people so they GET IT, dont say oh but i emailed mary she never emailed me back. email her a second time and cc: everyone.

    in life perception is just as important as reality.

    but no bushie went to mississippi and hugged two three blacks and then hung out with tons of white people. and im not saying that whites werent affected by katrina, of course they are. but anyone who saw the news over the days, anyone who saw the AFP fuck up, anyone who saw the lootings and the accusation by kanye on national tv knows that there was a racial element to this and when youre the leader of the parade youve gotta wave to the left side of the street and the right side which means on one day of your life mr president you fucking hang out with black people.

    and no you dont get a ghetto pass for hiring condi and colin. anyone would have hired colin, plus hes jamacian, so it doesnt really count. and condi is the biggest sellout to the black race since larry elder so get it right.

    you prove that you care about black people when you actually do things for black people as a whole. otherwise its tokenism. how much has unemployment for african-americans gone down since you took office. how many more blacks are in college since you got into office, how many more own homes, how many more have started businesses. how many more are now voting republican. thats how you know what youre doing is good for blacks. we’re as loyal as can be.

    but last week you were not loyal to us.

    and my time is up but i have to say a few more things. the purpose of this blog today is the same it was on day one. i write to get laid. if you ever hear me say something different you know someone has kidnapped me and tortured me into giving up my password.

    unlike some i dont do this for the money. i dont do this for some weirdo fucked up nerdy blogger fame. i dont do this as a resume builder to get a job writing. i do this so that the ladies of the world will continue to send me nudes of themselves and let me examine their finer parts.

    i know i dont always write things that will turn them on, and quite frankly i dont really know what would turn them on, but i know that somewhere i will meet someone who will say i read your shit and i love it and therefore i love you, and even though that might not mean happilly ever after, its a good start.

    consider it the call of the wild.

    poot-tweet. poot-tweet.

    or in this case fuck-bush fuck-bush.

    i write this thing on here because if blogger hadnt existed i would have written it on a website like i did in the olden days. and if i hadnt been born in the perfect time i would have written this shit on the walls of the cave or on the ass of a dinosaur or on the eye of a needle. i am a writer and its just as normal for me to write as it is for the president to fuck up.

    i feel extremely lucky that i have a small group of people who read my shit but you have to trust me when i say i never Ever think about that group when i write. you can ask “why dont you write something inspirational” or “why dont you say something constructive” or “why dont you write something sexy” or “why dont you give us a football pre-write” and you may as well talk to a wall because what comes out is whats inside and theres no way i can even think about football when it keeps dawning on me that the president of the united states turned his back on drowning people of all ages

    and he still gets to keep his job

    and worse, he still gets some of your respect.

    all bush had to do was show up earlier and do the right thing and all of this would have been about the weather.

    but he made it about politics.

    i have the worse thoughts about him when i think about him. the worst. and that rips me up inside because im not like that.


    will it help to impeach bush? its a good start. but it would send the message to the next leaders that they actually have to lead.

    tomdog is in LA and im gonna drink with him and all you buzznetters who are gonna be there it will be my pleasure to meet you.

    caitlin + brooks + jaime + sutter