1. Sunday, September 25, 2005

    this hasnt been the best week 

    and i guess technically Sunday is the begining of a new week, but lets pretend that its the end of the work week…

    im about to sever ties with one of my best and longest friends.

    in retrospect it was a long time coming and in many ways this friend had severed ties with me a while ago but i was too dumb to see it.

    im not very smart, fyi.

    and i let people sometimes walk all over me. i blame it on being raised a cub fan.

    when youre a cub fan you’ll pretty much take whatever warmed over piece of shit they serve up to you and as long as its wearing those pinstripes and cubs hat we’ll take it.

    which is why i was so surprised when the fans of the northside booed sammy sosa.

    but i guess times change.

    im not going to go into the details of this relationship or how i was wronged, but the way i see it i was 100% honest with this person and extremely patient and i changed when i was asked to change and i adjusted and i did the things that i thought would be best to keep the thing alive.

    but apparently that wasnt enough and slowly and surely ive been erased from this person’s life, for the exception of the times when this person was the lowest this person has ever been in and then this person came running to my house where i took care of the situation with the help of tivo brand recording devices, campbell brand soup, and some of the equipment loaned to me by the xbi.

    and the person who caused this persons pain is now permanently handicapped.

    and was forced to ingest his own toe.

    and say how good it was.

    still, im the dumb one.

    for some reason i thought that years of friendship and kickass communication would lead to a long long friendship

    but it appears that any time this person is really happy its me who gets not only pushed to the back burner but under the stove and after a while it gets cold down there and fucked up.

    and i wish you knew me, for if you did, you’d know that i dont ask a lot of people. the biggest thing i ask for is a little respect, and for the chosen few, the opportunity to hang out with them every now and then.

    as a recluse up to my gills in cheerleaders and blogging ventures, its not like im one of those clutchy friends whose always “oh lets do this tomorrow, and lets do this other thing tuesday, and lets do this other thing wednesday, and lets go to vegas over the weekend…”

    even my closest dearest friends barely see me or are bothered too much with my presence.

    and now this person wont have to worry about keeping the lie alive anymore either.

    and i hope that this person has a wonderful life and i hope that the people in this persons life are worth it.

    although id bet you thousands of dollars that theyre not, nor will they be in a years time.

    and yes life sucks sometimes, and yes lifes not fair sometimes, but life is its worse when people who should know you turn into strangers and pretend that youre something youre not and then abandon you. and yes i see the hypocracy of abandoning this person in return but i really dont see any other option.

    im off to the corpse bride.

    franklin ave + annika + kool keith + above pic of leah