1. Wednesday, September 21, 2005

    three years ago 

    today, i turned you on to raymi.

    have you thanked me yet?

    jk. but not really.

    heres the difference between raymi and a lot of the camgirls or cutesy chicks who show their ta-tas on the interweb:

    shes actually trying to show you her heart.

    the young boys get distracted and are all b00bies bo0biez which suprises me because a 17 year old boy, lets say, living in north amerikkka in the fourth quarter of 2005 with a halfway decent connection to the internet should have seen more titties by now than all the titties in all the issues of penthouse hustler and playboy combined.

    and not just pornstar titties or model titties but celeb titties. todays high school senior has seen so many titties that he should at this point even be discerning in his pr0n to the exent that when he saw tara reids tas that he should have immediately said Yay, of course, but then Ewwww, which isnt to say that he wouldnt have fully examined the entirety of it, for we as men are boobie scientists, especially during puberty, but after an hour should have moved on to either some nipslippage or your garden variety european beach topless tanning gallery of the rich and famous.

    which means by the time they have gotten to raymis blog the titties should simply be part of the ambience. like how good mexican restaurants have really good chips. you dont go for the chips but damn theyre good as youre waiting for your fish taco platter and pitchers of cadillac margueritas.

    raymi pours her soul out there for you. she tells it as it is. she walks the walk. she keeps it realer than real and i keep telling you to read her but you just scan for the nipples.

    theres a reason your older brothers and sisters keep voting for bush cheeney, its because ignorance runs in the family. and your family has deep roots. milton wrote a tale a long time ago about adam, eve, and a fella named satan. he called it paradise lost because its about how adam and eve fucked up their paradise on earth but its also about how satan fucked up his paradise in Heaven.

    in the old days satan was a high ranking angel. he was completely loved by the Lord, milton reminds us. but there was something strange about him, something a little off. for example satan was always seen looking down at the golden bricks that made up the sidewalks of Heaven. it totally blew his mind and he never got used to it.

    because he wasnt truly a great fit for Heaven he couldnt really look up beyond the mundane of that place and see the beauty that was truly there.

    when all you do at raymis site is skim for the titties youre pulling a satan in Heaven and not seeing the big picture.

    and youre lost.

    quit being a dumbfuck fratboy youngrepublican ambecrombie retread american.

    be a fil.

    and for all of you who asked after my podcast with busy if i will continue to interview celebs, may i remind you ive been interviewing superstars since the begining of time

    i cant help it that the world just doesnt know them yet.

    raymi’s blog + fil warning its sorta gross today + my interview with raymi in july