today is gwen stefani’s birthday

she was born in 1969.

me and gwen go way back.

most people dont know this, but no doubt struggled for the better part of their early career.

while i was the Arts editor at the daily nexus i got a lot of requests for bands who wanted to be mentioned in our paper.

while i was there bands like toad the wet sprocket got no love because they were on a major label and i was trying to keep it real by only stoking the indie acts. so the dudes from toad came into the office – all of them – and said tony we know, but still, we love you and the nexus, just talk to us for a few minutes and you’ll see…

so i interviewd them and whattya know, they were cool kids. super cool. i told them that i wasnt really into their music and they were all, yeah we understand. at the time i was listening to a lot of janes addiction and nwa. toad didnt really fit into my rotation.

because they were bros we broed them and they got in the paper.

huge mistake.

my phone started ringing off the hook cuz the word was out: tonys a softie.

the good news was i was getting shipments of cds like crazy which i distributed among the writers, but i kept a few for myself and the leftovers made their way to Morninglory Records who were more than happy to give me $4 a disc which they would sell to the students for $7.99. the circle of life was all good.

but the bad news was i had to start answering the phone, “fuck off.” which my momma didnt appreciate no matter how many times i told her the story of toad the wet sprocket.

one day miss gwen stefani came bopping into the office all flatchested and shit asking who was the entertainment editor cuz she had a ska band that we would love.

without even getting up i said

fuck ska.

she was all, excuse me mister?

i went, fuck ska and fuck white people playing ska.

her hair turned red right there in front of us.

she was all but

and i was all look the police ripped off reggae but how many sting/stewart copeland/andy summers’s are there in the world?

she was like, none. popping her gum sadly.

i said, good now leave and dont come back until you play some rock music.

but gwen was all what about madness what about general public what about

i was all i’ll give you madness but gp and all the rest have black people in their bands but still its white stealing from blacks its a horrible cycle that will end in misery for everyone. if you can sing, sing. but quit ripping off the brothas. play rock music like bad brains play rock music like the boredoms play rock music so that the Lord above will look down from the heavens and elbow an angel and say see thats what im talking about.

and she got it and she left and i never heard from her again.

until, true story, until tsar was discovered by gwens best friend

i think her name was debra.

and debra knew some people and they got tsar signed to hollywood records and when i got to meet debra she said that she was a fashion designer who had dressed marilyn manson and no doubt and i was all how did you get with gwen and she was all we jog together and i told her the story and she was all omg ive heard that story!

and fortunately gwen had totally ignored everything that i had said to her because she seems to be doing ok without my brilliant advice.

but because the Lord has a funny sense of humor he tossed ashley into my world, pretty much the number one nd + gwen stefani fan in the universe so not only did i have to eat my words with gwens success, but i had to listen to those records constantly and watch her dress up like the girl who i threw out of the nexus way back when.

which only goes to show you: interview everyone, keep your mouth shut, keep the tape rolling, and when youre in college take pictures of everyone who crosses your path.

coop + amy + jmo + dont link this + delay could get life

im not sure i could be in a better mood.

lets forget the fact that a nice young lady came over last night to make me feel better about the cubs losing and squirmed around with the moonlight shining all over her making me wonder how on earth i get such top ranked models who end up feeling so comfortable around me that they dare me to do anything i want with their amazing bodies.

lets forget that the cubs are going to play at wrigley field tomorrow evening with a very good chance of going up two games to one in the first round of the national league playoffs, with the fourth game taking place at the corner of clark and addison.

lets even forget that my favorite band tsar has a new cd ready to come out, with tracks already leaked to the busblog, and these are some of the hardest hitting, punk rock glam pop ive ever heard.

ok, lets not forget those things. even though its hard to when the biggest plum of them all, the mouthpeice of the republican national party, the fattest, grossest, most high-fallutin, unapologetic racist lying sack of righteous shit gets outted for his prejudiced ways on wednesday which lead to his near instant resignation from espn – a job he shouldnt have had in the first place.

and then the national enquirer of all places, exposes him for having a Serious drug problem involving getting his maid of all people to get him tens of thousands of OxyContin pills over the last four years.

pardon me while i gloat.

this is the same Rush Limbaugh who would be going crazy right now if a big time liberal talk show host got busted being a drug abuser, and a liar, and for getting his maid to do his dirty work for him, and for meeting at a dennys parking lot to trade cigar boxes (he passes her the cigar box of cash, she passes him the cigar box full of his dirty pills) instead of doing the deals at his mansion.

this is the same Rush Limbaugh who… is RUSH LIMBAUGH!

anointed posterboy of the right who, when they cant hide behind allegedly knowing something about the economy, or foreign affairs, pretend that they are the moral party and that the dems are not.

how fucked up must it be for clear headed conservatives to look at the budget crisis, to look at the mess in iraq, and then look at the cia bungle; and then be forced to look at rush on the same day that their golden hope of a recall in california, arnold, the son of a nazi police chief, admits that he did grope “some” of the women who are claiming that he inappropriately touched.

all of this makes the clinton era truly look like camelot.

since it was, after all.

so im thinking if they threw tommy chong in the slam for a year for selling the plastic to use the “drugs”, rush should get at least a year for buying tens of thousands of real drugs.

but thats just me. chief justice pierce.

[Ed: and when people show you stats of whites and Blacks in prison, remember this day because Rush will never go to prison, but any Black man would]

two years ago today + two years ago today part two + steph does south beach

so the unqualified president nominated an unqualified candidate

for the supreme court? are you all that surprised?

this is a guy who clearly believes that anyone can sit at any table and do a crap job and everything will be ok.

he still thinks Brownie did a heck of a job.

he still thinks theres a link between iraq and 9/11.

he still thinks that tax cuts are a good idea during wartime.

and who can blame him for thinking these thoughts? america re-elected him, nobody’s tried to shoot him,

nobody goes on national tv and says he doesnt like black people – who matter.

so of course he thinks that someone who’s never been a judge would be perfectly ok as a justice – he just nominated a guy to be cheif justice who’s never been a supreme

– and it went through!

many a time i’ve woken up with a ridiculously hot babe laying next to me and ive thought to myself, how on earth did i get in this unreal situation that i clearly dont deserve?

after years of that i realized that yes i didnt deserve it, but as it continued to happen it wasnt like i was gonna change anything and stop the flow.

keep on keeping on was my mantra.

bushie is just doing the same thing. hes spreading the wealth of unworthiness.

as any good buddhist would do.

pay it forward and all that.

plus she clears brush with him, so maybe shes qualified after all

since the supreme court spends a lot of its time gardening, and junk.

no seriously im happy for the woman, shes hot, shes unqualified, she’s supported both W and gore,

and best of all she makes the republicans sweat.

either theyre pulling the greatest rope-a-dope since Ali in claiming that they dont want her,

or shes omg open-minded.

clearly the last thing the republicans want on the bench.

no matter what people say about this administration, it certainly hasnt been boring.

heck of a job bushie.

if she doesnt make it through, perhaps he’d consider sigfried or roy.

kitty bukkake + mc brown + reverse vampyr + flagrant at the la county fair