1. Monday, October 31, 2005

    dear madonna, 

    i believe youve justified your love. thank you. i look forward to downloading your next album.

    we’ve been through a lot together. you and i. me and you.

    i believe the year was nineteen eighty four. i was dating a punk rock girl super into the cure. and poetry.

    the first time we made out she said is that bruce springsteen

    and i said why yes it is.

    oh madonna, i was 97 years old but i was so young.

    a literal virgin.

    back in those days we had to pay for our music so i didnt have any of yours.

    sorry.

    but you didnt need to own any madonna records back then, it was everywhere.

    when i got to santa barbara, true blue era, i couldnt believe that people were like seriously into you. like, no shes good tony. and when people ask me why i stopped taking acid its because people would play madonna records for me and itd freak me out and bad trip me.

    my only solace, and i know you wont believe me but its true, and i write about it tonight, halloween night, because they were perfect for a night like tonight.

    in college there was a band called pms. an all girl band.

    carla was the singer but ramona the bassist, a melding between bettie page and henry rollins

    with the greatest tattos… and everything, was the star.

    she was the anti madonna.

    and hotter.

    once i was having a horrible bad trip on acid and i wrote a little poem to my mother

    and waited to die.

    and something snapped inside me and i got up and i skatedboarded to the pms show

    it stood for premarital sex.

    they were playing in the backyard of an isla vista home.

    or maybe it was a field.

    you dont really know on acid, and for some reason i liked that.

    and i listened to pms play and even though they were a very nice punk rock thrash situation, that particular night they sounded like angels

    in their blood stained wedding dresses

    bright red right at the crotch.

    and the thing is, madonna, i wanna know about the bands that youve seen.

    the nights youve had.

    cuz youre madonna.

    im glad youre into kabalah and yoga and living in england and all that fucked up shit, if you were living down the street coming back from the blockbuster in your sweats you wouldnt be a rock star to me. youd be pavement.

    you and me had very little in common in the first place, and thats probably why i liked you.

    and the fact that you were always getting naked for me and talking dirty.

    and the fact that erotica, bedtime stories, and ray of light were somehow brilliant.

    wtf woman.

    i dont know what youre doing nowadays, but maybe ive just been distracted.

    maybe i havent justified my love.

    you should let tsar open for you.

    xoxoxo

    tony

    jennifer + raspberry sundae + gorilla mask + city rag