1. Monday, November 14, 2005

    remember when the hindenburg crashed in new jersey in 1937? 

    if you dont, keep an eye to the haps across the bridge in new york this week as the Pajamas Media trainwreck is headed to the big apple and is poised to make a big… uh… splash.

    heres some of the things theyve got going against them that theyve recently failed to address:

    1. Judith Miller will be giving their keynote address. Yes that Judith Miller. Presumably because Jayson Blair and Armstrong Williams were busy, and Jeff Gannon was… ahem… tied up. [rimshot]

    2. When even midwesterners like Ann Althouse take a pass while calling PM revenue scheme “skimpy compared to Blogads” you’re either holding out on the B-list (your base) or you’re off on a really bad foot. Althouse is one of Glenn Reynolds’ favorite people to link to and if the Instapundit can’t convince his bff to sign up with him there must really be some seriously small margins in the Pajama game.

    3. 60+ Conservatives and 2 Liberals does not make, as PJ co-founder Roger Simon describes, “the best of mainstream media and best of blog media”. It makes for a Fox News on the web. And just like Fox News, if Pajamas Media doesnt identify itself for what it is: overwhelmingly right-wing it will be held in just as much regard as The O’Reilly Factor and the rest of those Fair & Balanced shows.

    4. The Little Green Footballs problem. Not everyone has met Charles Johnson, the creator of LGF, nor do they know him as a long haired mellow, jazz and rock musician who comes across more like a hippy than anything else. Just the opposite is true on the blogosphere as most who read LGF consider the site hateful, racist, reactionary, and foolish. Like O’Reilly, that hasn’t hurt LGF’s popularity, but it might hurt the type of advertising that comes into the Pajamas Media kitty. Speaking of which, have you seen the ads on LGF? Neither has Charles. Similarily have you seen LGF in the Technorati Top 100? Us either. Despite admitting that LGF has close to 4,000 sites that link to it, Technorati apparently refuses to put the controversial blog in it’s Top 100. Talk about a hot potato.

    5. The Luke Ford problem. Long-time journalist and Internet pioneer, Luke Ford, was hired and then let go once Pajamas Media found out that Luke was back interviewing porn stars. Apparently you can run LGF but you can’t run lukeisback.com but thats not the real problem. The real problem is when LGFs scrubs the post welcoming Luke in shame/embarrassment, and when nobody at Pajamas MEDIA wants to talk about it, particularily PJ contributor and Ford’s best friend Cathy Seipp who chose to take the Fifth. “I have nothing to say about my friends at Pajamas Media first welcoming, then dropping, my friend Luke Ford.”

    6. The New York Office problem. According to their own press release, PM’s office in New York is located at Rockefeller Plaza Center – 7th Floor, 1230 Avenue of the Americas
    New York, New York 10020, and their phone number is 212-745-1377. But according to blogger Dennis the Peasant, any time you see someone claiming to be on an entire floor of a Manhattan building, something’s usually fishy. Fishy indeed, he found. Turns out Despite their alleged $3.5 million in funding, the address according to Dennis is a “virtual office” and the phone number isnt PM’s it’s SJ Enterprise who knows nothing about Pajamas Media. Apparently on the interweb, people can factcheck your virtual ass. or something.

    Can Republicans not get anything right these days?

    Here’s my advice to my fellow bloggers, several of whom will be jetting out to New York:

    A. If you plan on being like what good bloggers claim to be – Transparent – show us pictures of your 7th Floor offices. Use Buzznet to host your picture if you like. All you have to do is email your picture to tony.tony.pajamas@buzznet.com and the proof that youre not using a phony baloney cheesy Virtual Office will be seen at tony-pajamas.buzznet.com

    B. Fire Judy Miller as your Keynote. Are you kidding me? If you have no problem hiring and firing Mr. Ford, you shouldnt even think twice about doing the same to Miller. Your boy Bush did it with Harriet Miers, you need to do it to Judy. For if you don’t you will never live it down. Let Glenn Reynolds be your keynote. With no offense to everyone else, he’s your biggest star, but more importantly knows how to cover his ass. Or just say fuckit and hire Zell Miller. At least he’s guaranteed to put on a good show.

    C. Explain the firing of Ford and address the LGF hate issue. If a roomful of lawywers and writers can’t get it together to spin, I mean educate us on these two concerns then you’re no better than any other mainstream media outlet – youre just newer, dumber, and more chickenshit. Show us all that you’re different.

    D. Admit that you’re a Right Wing cadre. Transparency is a good thing. Own who you are. Bask in the glow. Admit the obvious. If you truly want to hire Lefty bloggers to balance things out, provide a list of 30 who you’d be interested in. Or say these are the types of Lefty blogs that we enjoy reading. There are 20 million blogs. If you cant find 30 Lefty bloggers that you can put on a list to truly make you the “best of blogging…” then you should just admit that all you care about is the conservative voice… which there’s nothing wrong with.

    E. Pay your writers. The Althouse quote, oddly, is the most embarrassing thing of this list of embarrassments. If all of this hype is to make a few at the top rich(er) on the backs of the rest of the gang, it could be disasterous to everyone involved: the greedy will come across as one of the first scoundrels of the blogosphere, and the victims will end up looking like fools.

    Bottoms up!

    buzzmachine + the poorman + tell smelly shes cute and will bounce back