a. fakers who arent paying attention
if i wanted hits id hit the Shift key a little more frequently
if i wanted hits id write about Da Bears who are blowing up
if i wanted hits id write about my displeasure with Kobe being the only watchable Laker in town which is why i dont watch the Lakers
if i wanted hits id write about the way my fingers smelled this morning
if i wanted hits id link to the Saugeen Stripper more
if i wanted hits id do what all the fratboys do to get hits: post nudes, nip slips, cooch shots, and somethingawful grossouts
if i wanted hits i wouldnt insult my readers, challenge their dumbshit comments, and insist that they start thinking for themselves
if i wanted hits id have weekly movie reviews, weekly cd reviews, weekly hotchick features, weekly blogging tips, and weekly photo tips but i dont do that because the busblog might be a lot of things but it isnt a contrived peice of formulated corp blog whose sole intent is to get more eyeballs
if i wanted hits i wouldnt be the most transparent blogger alive, and i certainly would never admit to blogging simply to get tits in my mouth as opposed to hits on my counter
if i wanted hits id update more, id spell check more, id write about Lost more, id write about Matt Good more
if i wanted hits id write about Jenny Good way more
if i wanted hits id take you in and out of the streets of Los Angeles at least once a week spotlighting the fabulous nightclubs that i frequent, the dive bars i end up at, and the afterhours penthouse suites that i pass out in
if i wanted hits youd have seen a picture of karisa on this badboy every fucking week that its been up
if i wanted hits id let the losers just slide with their lame attempts to throw a wrench in the busblog, id delete comments and ban people
if i wanted hits id tell my friends to leave nice comments when the going got rough, or id start a fake blog and name my fake name something stupid like Elmo and barrage naysayers with nonsense if anyone ever criticized tony pierce
if i wanted hits id lurk at bigger blogs and try to make a name for myself in their comments, and either id be a royal pain in the ass or a super suckass
if i wanted hits i wouldnt bite the hands that could feed me like this one and that one, both of whom list me on their blogroll, so must have seen something here that they liked, instead id keep my criticsms about them to myself and link to them with high praise whenever they do good deeds.
if i wanted hits id cut my blog surfing in half and double my blog content, but im actually a fan of the blogs that i link to, im a fan of the blogosphere, im a fan of the genre and im up every night til 4am not writing to get hits but reading cuz i like it.
if i wanted hits id write shorter peices and market the good stuff.
if i wanted hits id withhold the best stuff and sell it to the loyals at Christmas
if i wanted hits id make my page quicker to load and easier to read
if i wanted hits id have scars on my knees
like your friends the sellouts
but i dont want hits and ive never wanted money, ive never wanted popularity but some things youre cursed with.
i charge three times the going rate for a blog with the sort of hits i get so id have to spike my shit super high for the advertisers to get their money’s worth if hits was the only reason that they displayed their message here, but its my belief that they advertise here because this isnt a sellout blog concerned with hits
this isnt a sellout blog who writes things for attention
this isnt a sellout blog who bites its tongue because omg someone might be upset
it is the unedited unspellchecked once typed and probably never read again diary entry of an undercover superhero fighting the good fight in hollywood california in a blog that pretends that nothing in here is true
and that attracts the good readers of the interweb who the good advertisers want to reach
not just soulless eyeballs
not just linedancing robots with wheel of fortune frozen on their idiot box
if i wanted hits id change everything about this blog and do everything differently but i dont think about hits any more than i think about ads and i dont think about pussy either
which is why i get all three and then some
and then some.