1. Friday, December 9, 2005

    what can i say. 

    what do you say? here in LA this shit happens all the time, its just very odd for it to happen to me.

    truly there are dozens of shows being taped all over this town.

    but today in a studio about four blocks from the front door of my true love the cameras were aimed at me and everything that i said got shot around the entire world.

    50 million people they tell me.

    and theres so much i forgot to say cuz it went speeding by soooo quickly.

    i wanted to say


    i wanted to say

    merry christmas

    i wanted to say

    anyone can succeed at blogging with a little practice

    i wanted to say

    i love you

    i wanted to say

    it’s ok.

    god was i nervous today. i was nervous all day. but it was a good nervous.

    i told the lovely producer named cat that i dont experiment with the things that they poisoned me with in college any more,

    not because i have anything against it but because theres bigger highs out there now, ones that make you see trippy things or feel weird feelings

    but in the morn you dont have to recover for a whole day.

    or be paranoid that the cops are going to crash through the window.

    i was late for the chauffered ford expedition, i was burning a tsar cd for cat, i was trying to find my ipod headphones

    but i didnt need them because me and the driver became instant friends and we talked all the way there through not so bad traffic

    and we talked all the way home through really horrible rushhour traffic. fuck!

    and nearly when i got home i asked him if it would be cool if we went through the drive through and he said sure and i had realized that i hadnt eaten all day except for a little nibble of a rice krispies treat in the green room

    and i gorged that mc rib and thought about getting makeup applied on my swill mug and bald head

    and i thought about meeting the kool kids from the tv station

    and i thought about how amazingly comfortable i felt in front of the cameras

    so much so that i didnt even notice them. i just talked to kevin and blazed through his questions and didnt shake and didnt stutter and didnt stammer and didnt do a lot of the things that i do in regular life

    for some reason the addrenalin and the butterflies took over and blocked the demons who were so shocked that i was even there that they didnt stand a chance.

    and there was a dude in the hallway that i met after the deal who said that he was the one who got me on the show and i want to thank him and apologize for not remembering his name but my mind was blown and if he emails me i will send him a book

    because in a year where many many many cool things happened to me

    this was the coolest.

    and when i finally got home and sat down in front of the tv

    and saw myself in that profile i smiled from ear to ear and said

    shit, im getting fat.

    i took this one so you could see what i saw + the set + the the avi + thanks to everyone, especially cat! + the web interview