r icon? are u trying to piss me right off?
raymi: kidding

dumbass of america: it’s her birthday, show a little love!

raymi: ok this has to be a quick interview because i have to walk into town to drink some of my cheap beers before we drive to a concert

raymi: ok i dont want a picture of some old man with a yankee hat on
raymi: ok next question

dumbass of america: do you love me?

raymi: yes

dumbass of america: great

raymi: are you needy today?

dumbass of america: only a little
dumbass of america says: how about you

raymi says: i am glad that you suggested that boy buy me beers one time because he did it and i had no money and it was like wow this whole blogging thing works in the real world i totally forgot
raymi says: oh i am always needy but whatever this “interview” is about you
raymi says: ok so this is another blook right

dumbass of america says: yes its another blook
dumbass of america says: this one is way different though

raymi says: like it is less shitty than the first one?

dumbass of america says:cuz the first one was “This Is How Shitty Your First Year Will Be.”
dumbass of america says: exactly

raymi says: oh u have to put the “i chose raymi as best blogger” thing up again so people can know about it and i can brag about it to people who have no idea about blogs and hopefully get them to give me money or something

dumbass of america says: done
dumbass of america says: im so sorry about that btw

raymi says: ok so like are you going to do anything to change your life ever

dumbass of america says: im in the process
dumbass of america says: i am applying for new jobs
dumbass of america says: that normally changes everything

raymi says: i dont care tony like i only have to get upset about something for a little while and then i am over it

raymi says: well are u going to move away from that fucking hollywood sign?

dumbass of america says: never
dumbass of america says: my rent is so cheap my landlord keeps trying to figure out ways to evict me. never once does he say, here’s a bag of money: leave!

raymi says: do u know any sceinonologists?

dumbass of america says: i met beck’s brother once. he played me midnight vultures months before it came out. thats about as close as i got.

raymi says: are u losing all of your hair yet?

dumbass of america says: i shaved it off a while ago

raymi says: are you sensitive about that question.

dumbass of america says: only a little
dumbass of america says: but not really
dumbass of america says: i know im olde
dumbass of america says: you really dont read me much do you?

raymi says: i do but u are like confusing u have all these links and pictures and i am always looking for stuff about me
raymi says: and then there are all these hollywood pictures and i am like yaaaaawn
raymi says: u need to talk about other stuff

dumbass of america says: well i could easilly make a I Heart Raymi blog but then people get the wrong idea
dumbass of america says: what should i write about?

raymi says: like i know u work for the xbi or whatever and maybe have access to secret stuff but i guess that works for boring lame people who care about current events in media and sports

raymi says: um write less about girls who come over to yer apt to be all i heart tony because then yer guy readers will be like i hate tony

dumbass of america says: i have no access to secret stuff thru the xbi

raymi says: like i think yer readers would want tony to grow up and get married or have a steady girl who isnt 14 yrs old and goes to vegas to buy halloween costumes because she has dumb hair

dumbass of america says: yikes
dumbass of america says: that was years ago baby

raymi says: ok well u live in hollywood and have access to weird people?

dumbass of america says: all i have access to is the internet
dumbass of america says: i have all the same access as anyone

raymi says: i know it was years ago but there are only so many things i can remember
raymi says: ok well then fine i am already forgetting the point i was trying to make

dumbass of america says: but since you bring her up
dumbass of america says: i dated ashley*, who was young, i will admit that
dumbass of america says: but i havent even really talked to her in like a year or two
dumbass of america says: but we loved each other
dumbass of america says: im no agist
dumbass of america says: and theres stuff in the new book about us breaking up

raymi says: well dating young is fine, just dont date dumb-young
raymi says: i like looking at those pictures though kuz even tho i hate celebrities i love looking at their cleavages

dumbass of america says: oh i have some nude courtney love pics then

raymi says: ok she is boring i dont care next question
raymi says: do u have a negative body image?

dumbass of america says: no
dumbass of america says: i like my bod
dumbass of america says: i have a little hairy belly that all the girls seem to like
dumbass of america says: my dick works fine
dumbass of america says: my ass sorta smells occassionally
dumbass of america says: but everything else seems pretty normal

raymi says: dude people reading this interview are going to be like tony thinks he is a porn star
raymi says: anyway

dumbass of america says: god i wish. maybe in heaven where it;s kosher.

raymi says: ok so when are u going to go to canada
raymi says: and completely come undone
raymi says: do u feel safe in los angeles
raymi says: are u afraid of the east side

dumbass of america says: i live on the east side of hollywood
dumbass of america says: eassside up, wessside down

raymi says: i am talking about the futhafuckin east coast

dumbass of america says: i feel totally safe in LA cuz i dress like a gangsta
dumbass of america says: oh that easside
dumbass of america says: only reason i want to go to TO is to see you in your natural domain
dumbass of america says: and get doubleteamed by terra and paige

raymi says: like u are um biggie and we are 2pac or whatever i think
raymi says: who the hell are terra and paige

dumbass of america says: im nwa
dumbass of america says: two youngsters in TO

raymi says: gross
raymi says: i mean
raymi says: are they lame

dumbass of america says: youre a youngster too babydoll
dumbass of america says: no theyre great

raymi says: am i older than they are

dumbass of america says: by maybe one year

raymi says: ok so i can boss them around and stuff?
raymi says: do they think they are better than me?

dumbass of america says: in my fantasies you boss us all around
raymi says: nice.

dumbass of america says: i wouldnt visit anyone who thought htat
raymi says: woah awesome.

dumbass of america says:
can i tell you something off the record

raymi says: i like that blogs are like highschool and i get to be the leader even though everyone is like i hate her
raymi says: tell it

dumbass of america says: [secret]

raymi says: and…

dumbass of america says: [secret]

raymi says: hhahah
raymi says: thanks

dumbass of america says: ok back to being on the record
dumbass of america says: isnt that weird though?>

raymi says: no

dumbass of america says: great

raymi says: ok lets stop being pervy

dumbass of america says: ok

raymi says: well i think it is kuz people get mega obsessed ove my pssy

dumbass of america says: msn chat does this to me

raymi says: its like a young looking one

dumbass of america says: i like your ass more
dumbass of america says: im not sure ive seen it though

raymi says: yeh well im all over perfect i guess

dumbass of america says: oh wait yea i have
dumbass of america says: ahahaha
raymi says: heheh

dumbass of america says: what would you change to your bod if you could?

raymi says: love handles and upper arms
raymi says: make them firmer
raymi says: they got firmer overthe summer when i was hyper longboarding and shit

dumbass of america says: baby youre so fine, dont change a thing
raymi says: ok then dont ask me that question juzt to come back with that
raymi says: every girl has her insecurities
raymi says: doi
raymi says: ok i seriously have to go drink beer now

dumbass of america says: ok seriously thanks for interviewing me
dumbass of america says: one last question
dumbass of america says: how do you like that nirvana box set?

raymi says: i do not own it my friend owns it and i like it just fine’
raymi says: ok xo

thanks raymi!