busblog

nothing in here is true

  1. Sunday, December 31, 2006
  2. the boreblog 

    september 2006

    9/1 keith olbermann pwns the sec’t of defense

    9/1 i go see the format and video a song for you

    9/2 Coop doesnt love keith olbermann

    9/4 some of the readers still dont like me and want me fired. on labor day one writes: “what bothers me is that a person like Tony Pierce is an editor of anything, the lack of intellect that he exudes should place him in a more suitable profession, such as bar tending or detailing cars, or just anything that doesn’t require any more thought than vacuuming a room.”


    9/4
    me and the critic have a little back and forth and the world sees that im not the worlds worst speller by a long shot

    9/5 anna kournikova gives me a Boyfriend quiz and i ace the fuckr

    9/7 why i love tattoos but believe that theyre against the bible

    9/9 i restart my roadtrip – first stop is Las Vegas where i meet mike tyson. drunk post.

    9/10 utah: “damn mormons had cleaned the john for the night cuz they were about to close the inside to the public. but i bum rushed it, moved the trash can, accepted the pine scent of cleaner and destroyed that can.

    “mark twain fucking wished he wrote travel journals like this.”

    9/11 utah: i go to jail.

    9/12 iowa: i ask a dozen questions, one being “how is it that even though i have put this blog on the backburner that over a thousand people a day keep coming here and advertisers still want to pay me to put links to their shit here?”

    9/13 minnesota: hot babe lets me drive half way across the country and forgets to tell me that she just got a boyfriend. i zip up my pants and drive her home.

    9/13 video interview with a new employee at Kum & Go

    9/15 i return to IL the place where i grew up and diss the mayor, the white sox, and the first tolls that i encounter on the trip. a very lonely sox fan challenges me in the comments by saying that i wouldnt even know how to get to sox park without a map to which i reply:

    “its always been easy to find Comiskey without a map: roll down your window and follow the sent of shit and vomit. as you get closer you’ll notice the undeniable aroma of spread open ass and there you’ll find Sox park.

    9/16 interview with busty cub fans in the bleachers of wrigley field which is what heaven looks like.

    9/17 i answer unasked questions ending in “therefore the answer is to shave the hair off your chest and paint a big 34 on your body so that if the hail comes you just drink a shit ton of beers, take your shirt off and smile pretty for the camera and die of exposure.

    because the answer has always been if youve gotta die somewhere it should be at wrigley field or if that fails soldier field with your fingers smelling of a girl from lake forest who didnt even know you existed yesterday.”

    9/18 thanks to my longest friend Bob i get to see the Bears home opener

    9/19 pt one, pt two, and pt three of Cubs / Sox shit talking

    9/20 tribute to my mom on her birthday

    9/21 drunk blogging from toronto: raymi and fil got me drunk andt the torontoist party. before that we drank next tdoor. we missed paige whihc is too bad cyuz everyones telling me she hasnt lookt better,. it dont matter cuz she has a boyfriend. whys everyon gotta have boyfriends. boyfriens are so lame. 07 is gonna be the year that everyone vcan be single. just for one year./ people should bang one yuear/. non stop banging. alamande left. pick a new partner. so boring trhese boyufrinesd/


    9/23
    more partying in toronto. i get to meet the hottest twins in canada and tell them repeatedly how badly i want them both.

    9/25 recap of toronto

    9/25 mass: after being hosted amazingly by Pitt, i am given first class hospitality by tomdog

    9/26 tribute to pitt and tomdog

    9/27
    fenway fucking park bitches

    9/28 connecticuit: after hating cape cod its nice to be anywhere else

    9/29 new york woot woot: “i want to live here. forever.”

    9/30 another girl disses my advances. win some, lose way more.

    9/30
    new york: i have no aspirations other than tell the continuing story of LA. while kissing girls out of my league. while striking out across this great land. while sleeping late and wearing dumb clothes and getting closer to the end, which is in itself just the begining of that bottomless pit.

  3. Saturday, December 30, 2006

    pissbottle blues 

    august 2006

    8/1 MTVs 25th anniversary

    8/2 “i have the lowest self esteem of anyone you know. and i have the dumbest reason for it than everyone you know. if theres an archeologist in the house, throw ten thousand years of dirt on this blog and then dig it up and you will see that all of this was a way for me to play chess with the demons in my head and the spectacular battle almost always ends up exactly the same way as when jacob wrestled the angel – in a sore draw where both parties limp home with new names.”

    8/4 the busblog’s 5th birthday


    8/5
    LAist’s ex ex editor criticizes the new LAist and i agree with him

    8/6 video of the pants dancing in her bra in my living room

    8/7 i saw School for Scoundrels during a press screening and hated it. a lot.

    8/8
    “i love all my fucked up friends even those who act selfish even those who act selfish in response to the original selfishness even those who fuck me over repeatedly and promise to stop doing it. even on a site that says nothing in here is true there is a sense of privacy, not necessarily to protect the innocent, but also to protect the guilty, a club we all belong to.”

    8/9 i have drinks with Defamer and he tells me so many secrets its awesome

    8/10 “yes, sometimes i feel like i Should blog, or i Have to, but the difference between me and a lot of other bloggers is i will actually blog despite the moaning teen on the waterbed, or the fleeing criminal on the run.”

    8/11 i hit the road to drive around the nation. first stop pomona i get an oil change that fucks up my oil – or does it?

    8/12 flagstaff, az, i am told to turn around and go back home because my car is fuct

    8/13 i did an hour on an internet tv show called Ring My Bell and heres the edited video of that day

    8/15 “‘in this example im hoping that there are actually three kinds of people. im hoping that there are either people who want to fuck with me, people who want to get out of my way, and people who want to fix my fucking car.’”

    8/16 why i love ken layne. sploid goes out with a bang.

    8/18 “one kid in grade school they called fish face or fish for short. another was jewish and he was called jewlock. i never understood that one. maybe i was sick the day when the lock was deemed the worthy adjective.”

    8/23 “even if we were starving, summers in isla vista could not be topped. youd wake up and someone would hand you a lighter so they could wake n bake and youd run downstairs and light the twelve foot bong and when he was done youd change places and then someone would discover beer in a closet. and you would drink it.

    then youd skateboard to cliffs, ollie over an old person, and dive into the sea.”

    8/24 i am asked to get super insidebaseball regarding Big Brother, so i do it

    8/25 matt welch asks me to write about gentrification. ok. “the most normal thing in the world is for one group to move into a part of town and then move out as another one moves in. those mini mansions in korea town werent built by koreans you know. noah finz.”

    8/26 i get an opinion column published in the LA Times, my local paper

    8/26 matt good throws his wedding ring into a canadian body of water

    8/29 after years of loving her blog i finally get to meet alecia and i am so nervous its funny

    8/29 steve and garry get back together for a few hours

    8/30 “- if youre awake, and if there isnt a special lady in the house, at 2am blog.
    - if youre awake, and if there isnt a special lady in the house, at 230am write your book.”

    8/31 “someone left tiger woods pga 2006 on my doorstep for the psp this morning

    either this person is really nice or really mean since i really should be resting my hands as much as possible.”

    8/31 “in the short period of time that she was here she turned me on to blood meridian, blood brothers, and best of all the format who are over dramatic and happy and just so good it ought to be musical theatre. like if radiohead ate meatloaf and shit a brass section out. produced by steve macdonald of redd kross”

  4. Thursday, December 28, 2006

    the finale of fun 

    july 2006

    7/2 the bible tells us that it was easier to get laid back in the day

    7/5 who knew anaheim was toker’s town?

    7/6 just four weeks into my job and im already getting emails of concern from the busblog readers “…since you started working at the LAist, I feel your work (here on the busblog) is suffering. I’m NOT comming down on you dude, just keeping it real. I know you get all the love from you fans and I still am one! I just thought you would want to know (and you probobly realized it before I did) that you J.O.B. is causing you job to suffer…”

    7/8 i hold my first LAist meeting. i do it at the good luck bar. and i get good luck.


    7/8
    “i woke up at two pm today. can you believe that shit. girls here wear bikinis as clothes and after a while it actually does lose some of its omg appeal but some of it surprises you at two pm when you hear The Hills on in the living room.”

    7/10 tribute to anti

    7/11 blogged so much for LAist that i started getting carpal again

    7/12 i got interviewed twice. one by LA Taco where i said the Jack in the Box taco was my favorite in LA. the other was by Stussi. “Stussi taught me something in the intro that i didnt know. i had no clue that i had dropped to 566. wasnt i in the 200s not that long ago? this getting involved with work shit is a nightmare for my numbers. and you know what, if the numbers at LAist keep going up then i dont care really about the numbers over here.”

    7/13 Santa Barbara News Press begins to fall apart, Daily Nexus gets the scoop


    7/14
    i get interviewed Again “6. Q. Does blogging provide you your sole source of income? If not, what else do you do? A. yes.”

    7/15 LA Observed is killing us on the SB news press story and The Upper Crust were disappointing at Spaceland last night


    7/17
    “evil is thinking that the busblog has lost a step.”

    7/18 the wall street journal discovers that people like tripping out

    7/19 people didnt like LA City Nerd’s interview questions for me, so they ask their own including this one q. why are canadian girls so awesome? tara a. because they take out their grillz before introducing themselves to my tim horton.

    7/20 my pal since kindergarten, bob, asks me if the Cubs should keep Dusty or fire him. i answer that he should have been fired when he was experiencing difficulties with the cubs greatest hitter ever.

    7/21 i discover that my iPod is sorta fucked up

    7/22 i take jeanine to see The Racounteurs and i see an old pal from look-look

    7/22 tribute to mr. os, who is incharge of the servers that run the busblog, and is a great guy and good friend

    7/23 “its been decided that i dont blog enough”

    7/24 instead of seeing the flaming lips at the hollywood bowl, i go to the cousin of a cheerleader’s house to watch the miss universe pageant and eat her box. little do i know but it will be the last time i eat her box while watching the miss universe pageant.

    7/25 i plan/day dream the road trip that i eventually took in october

    7/26 tribute to the NINE year anniversary of matt and emmanuelle

    7/27 jana pants is on my couch

    7/27 out of synch interview with karisa because as we saw in yesterday’s best of June, when there are synched up interviews with karisa people are speechless

    7/28 the scene where greg brady admitted to being on the set stoned

    7/31 JimH makes me do the five things meme

  5. Wednesday, December 27, 2006

    the beginning of the end 

    june 2006

    6/1 i answer more questions from the comments including this one from pitt “q. should we turf our buzznet swag now???”

    6/2 rarely do i ever listen to criticism from the comments of the busblog, and when someone a few months ago said something bad about the use this year of videos on the busblog all i could think of was this post and how that video is as good as the best pics on this blog

    6/3 the only problem i have with life

    6/5 “everyones complaining about the sopranos finale and by everyone of course i mean karisa.”

    6/6/06 happy 666 day

    6/7 on this day i wrote that alan iverson was karisas favorite baller and she didnt correct me

    6/8 i admit that i had been named the Editor of LAist on 6/6. shortest unemployment ever.

    6/8 “here are the enemies of the laist: dumb stories, bad stories, boring stories, bad pictures, dumb pictures, boring pictures, dial up, george steinbrenner, any member of the soul patrol.

    “no matter what blogging.la does, they will never be on that list. theyve been too good to me over the years, i like them too much, and it would be, as the kids say so politically incorrectly, gay.

    “some of my best friends are politically incorrect.”

    6/12 on spending the weekend in vegas to prepare/celebrate/meditate

    6/13 “i think the busblog will have a good purpose. it will be the place where i can be sloppy and stupid and not have to worry or think or stress about.”

    6/13 “i was up till 6am last night trying to figure out what the hell. but i fell asleep before i got the answer.”

    6/14 laist has been down due to a mad rush of traffic. thats the catch 22 of the web. when something good happens you get shut down, like when a good band plays in isla vista.

    6/16 “probably the most overlooked journalist of all of our friends, emmanuelle knocks out story after story about LA culture, politics, and hollywood entertainment. unfortunately she does it en francais and often times on french radio so its hard to copy and paste it into our blogs”

    6/19 its 256am superhotchick i met at the home depot fell asleep on me as we were watching the ice storm. not pictured.


    6/19
    i ask the readers of the busblog to ask questions that will be answered on LAist, they oblige because they wonderful

    6/20 ray whitney of the carolina hurricanes says “fucking right” on abc at 8:10pm because his team just won the stanley cup. abc doesn’t get fined by the fcc.

    6/21 before me and karisa go to swingers i write an anti-kobe post on LAist which wakes up the readership, thats for sure.

    6/22 while writing a post about how i missed ashley, i threw this in there “while in the desert i accomplished everything that i wanted: i drew up a detailed plan for LAist, i wrote, i partied, i made out with a stripper with a tounge pierce. i even won at the slots. perfect.” and i wonder why shes bitchy towards me.

    6/23 unanimous negative reviews from the critics about my job so far at LAist. the best being “the new LAist is making me want to move to another city.”

    6/24 moxie and i do a long podcast together

    6/26 fortunately we disobeyed our advisors and did what you should do outside the good luck club and thats kiss a gift horse in the mouth.

    6/28 me and karisa go to the BET awards and dance and drink and dance

    6/29 “last night i went to two concerts. first hawksley workman at the viper room and then Love at the whiskey. i totally enjoyed myself at the hawksley show and canada, that dude is the real deal.”

    6/30 i ask two simple questions and 50 people respond

  6. Monday, December 25, 2006
  7. Sunday, December 24, 2006

    busblog jumps the shark 

    perry farrell at coachella may 2006

    5/2 video interviews from coachella

    5/2 funny tshirts from coachella

    5/3 day two from coachella including amazing pics i didnt take

    5/4 buzznet gets banned by myspace

    5/6 128 people tell us how they discovered the busblog

    5/8 tribute to my mother

    5/9 me and asher go to the dodger game and i explain to the world the game of stopwatch

    5/10 why matt good no longer blogs on thoughtmechanics

    5/11 a hot babe from minnesota who i had never met and barely talked to was on her way to visit me for a long weekend. “when i stopped doing acid a long time ago i substituted that reckless behavior with new reckless behavior and if im going to die, id rather it be at the hands of some crazed fan with pert knockers than from driving a hippie van on liquid from a phish show.”

    5/13 in palm springs with a ridiculously hot 21 yr old in a bikini

    5/15 “what did she wear to bed? a tight shirt and some booty shorts. she called them her pajamas. i told her it wasnt fair. what did i wear to bed? a tight shirt and some booty shorts.”

    5/16 “it must suck to live in ohio, painted in a corner, bound by bad decisions based in fear and marching to the beat of the half dead and mediocre. no more interesting than drew carey and certainly no more handsome.”

    5/17 “my yin wants me to be a preacher and my yang wants me to be a porn director.”

    5/17 because im a good Christian, i let an idiot get prime real estate on the busblog to complain about yours truly

    5/18 “one of the best things that los angeles has taught me is that the american dream is vastly overrated. the concept of birth school work death is fine for lots of the people from where i grew up, but i bet you if they had to do it over again some might have chosen to stray a tad from the beaten path.

    5/19 after puking blood and vomiting daily i see a doctor who cures me

    5/20 why michael barrett might win the busblog man of the year

    5/22 its rainy here in LA. i think its cuz the caged bird isnt singing. caged bird is disappointed in my taste in girls. one day someone super cool is there. next day someone way too young is there. next day someone super annoying is there. next day someone way too dull is there with hot clothes. caged bird is a judger.”

    5/23 dear britney, you shouldnt be crying. but i know why you are. its cuz life isnt fair.

    5/24 im an emotional wreck. in two weeks ive met a cheerleader and a stewardess. and ive fallen for both of them. and theyve both left me. and now i feel empty and worthless and hollow and incomplete.

    5/25 “at the bottom of one of those pictures below, on buzznet, is a caption that says ‘all of these nexus men now have children except tony’, and karisa asked me if i was upset about that, and i can honestly say hell to the no.”

    5/27 fired from buzznet

    5/29 two girls in bikinis sing the backstreet boys while yelling fire

    5/30 me: raymi what are you wearing

    raymi: oh sorry im, im wearing these pants i just cut into short/pants that are black cords and i look amazing. and cowboy boots, with pink and blue striped sox sticking out, and a white tank top thing and a lot of makeup

    5/31 “i have a good friend who can see into the future. the bible says that its cheating if you go to a medium, but that doesnt mean that im not sometimes tempted. hell, im all the time tempted. the only thing i would ask her is how long will this summer vacation last for. that way i would know whether to go on an excellent road trip or just go to vegas for the weekend and meet japanese girls.”

  8. the death of the busblog 

    april 2006

    4/2 i hate you cold

    4/3 happy opening day

    4/3 dear best friend in africa, i miss you

    4/4 my chair smells of a terrible combination of sourdough bread farts and Endust. my floor is littered with dozens of used kleenexes. theyre mostly congregated around the fireplace but theyre strewn in such a way that they appear to be running out of the fireplace into the safety of my writing closet.

    4/4 preparing my readers for 01:02:03 04/05/06

    4/5 announcing i will be in toronto in a few days

    4/6 a short list of buzznet pieces i had written about Coachella, as well as guest blogging elsewhere

    4/7 remembering the day kurdt kobain died

    4/8 i spent 24 hours in toronto to see matt good and party with pitt and the boys for raymis birthday, here are photos

    4/9 full recap of most of what happened in kitchner, waterloo, and TO

    4/11 inviting people to head over to buzznet to read about the original franz ferdinand and see the pants naked. i was also #312 on technorati (currently im in the 400s)

    4/12 “its been about a year since ive had a girlfriend. i guess that serves me right since i wasnt very good to my last ones. but still, i put out, chicks oughtta be banging down my door.”

    4/13 mc brown and azalea have a secret wedding in malibu

    4/14 good friday! i asked readers to put up a buzznet coachella blogad for free, and several actually do!

    4/15 bad saturday. oklahoma dude kidnaps, murders, and plans to eat a young girl. had linked and quoted me in his blog

    4/17 depressed about the oklahoma killer

    4/17 a better list of people who gave us free buzznet blogads, a picture of me at a party i have no recollection of, and my favorite picture of my neice

    4/18 i have drinks with Carolyn of LAist at mussos and franks

    4/19 six months before it came out, the busblog shows you the apocalypto trailer and link to the easter egg

    4/20 scott mcclellan resigns, i spit on his grave

    4/20 i get named one of LA Weekly’s 100 LA People

    4/21 i invite my readers to check out what i wrote on Thought Mechanics about the FDA’s findings about marijuana (which Thought Mechanics has now removed)

    4/23 i go to austin to see dan and sara’s wedding and dj the dance party

    4/25 long long description of the dan and sara thing

    4/25 long long exclusive interview with raymi le mnx

    4/26 bruce springsteen does cover songs, gets a bad review on the busblog

    4/26 a negative commentor dares filthy the busblog with his lies, pays dearly

    4/27 people tell me what to see at coachella

    4/28 yes our buzznet tent at coachella looked cozy but we got a lot done in there and it ruled.

    4/29 day one at coachella

    4/29 nice picture of perry farrell and friend in the vip tent

    4/30 nice picture of me and lady sovereign