1. Tuesday, February 14, 2006

    more questions from the readers 

    ber asks, “comfortable silence or engaging conversation? a soft kiss or a deep kiss? holding hands or long looks across the table?”

    perhaps its not obvious from all the blogging that ive done on this page but to me theres no such thing as a comfortable silence. i like communication, i like being engaged, i like the back n forth.

    best way for me to be completely turned off by you is to remain silent, to give me the silent treatment, to shut me out, or to shut me down.

    so yes the conversation must be engaging even if its a whisper on a silent night in the middle of a forest so still that the trees dont dare fall for fear that if they do they wont exist.

    similarily even though eye contact can be extremely sexy i like to hold hands all day all night in every and all situations. theres a scene in the eighties film gregory’s girl where the nerdy kid is laying on his back with the hot soccer babe and theyre looking at the stars and he says that dancing is what keeps you from falling off the earth. i say its holding hands.

    soft or deep kisses? theres a time and place for both. i say the longer you know someone the softer your kisses can be. therefore if im kissing a girl for the first time we can start off softly but that shit better get deep quick or im gonna question your motives.

    matt welch asks, “What’s wrong with you? Please explain how you can believe in both astrology and the Bible. What, exactly, should we do with the staffbox?”

    first off theres lots wrong with me. of all people, you should know that.

    secondly i dont believe in astrology. i know it and i study it and i ask everyone their signs and i have an odd knack for remembering peoples signs my leo friend but thats only because i feel like if youre going to disprove something you should know what the hell it is that youre calling bullshit on.

    however there are some freaky truths to many of the generalities of astrology. yes some might be psychosomatic or imagined but that doesnt make them false.

    likewise i dont think that believing and trusting in the bible is mutually exclusive to believing astrology since the Lord made the heavens on the second day. and i also dont think that its beyond God to give us hints about this thing called life up in the stars for all to see. people like me need all the hints we can get.

    for me astology is a way to appreciate peoples differences and give folks a break. it’s not a way to discriminate. for example it doesnt surprise me in the slightest that a leo wouldnt change his blog design for years, however it would surprise me if an air sign kept the design for very long.

    also, even though the bible is clear that Jesus is the truth the light and the way, it doesnt say that we should ignore the stars the same way it advises us to stay away from psychics mediums and seers.

    what should the LA Times do with its staff box? you should, every now and then, put my name as the current publisher and see if anyone notices. if no one says peep you should fuck staff box and stick a cartoon there, hopefully an offensive one that would amuse jim treacher.

    Wes asks, ” Hi Tony, If you could add one more piece of advice to your list of “How to Blog” that you haven’t already mentioned, what would it be??”

    wes this is a very good question. its good because ive now thought about this for a few days. i know sometimes i come across as conceited. sometimes its intentional, but deep down i have very low self esteem and need to be reassured constantly, which is why i like open lines of communication and holding hands.

    with that said, one of the beauties of the post how to blog is how complete it is. if anything i would expand on the theories, if i had to do it all over again, but i only had 15 minutes during my break to write that thing so i had to bust it out quickly. and in truth i think it took 20 minutes. maybe 22. but i had to knock it out very fast. and when i was done i was done and people can disagree with things but i dont recall anyone ever wanting me to add anything.

    nk asks, “Do you think that some people are genuinely evil?”

    perhaps ive been blessed to only meet pretty-nice people. ive met some assholes but im not so sure i would call them genuinely evil. the other day i did a search of sex offenders in my neighborhood. i did it because a blog linked to it. there were four within two blocks of my house. i clicked each one to see what they had done and most had molested children under the age of 14 and i hated these men. but something inside me rationalized that either they had something mentally fucked up in them or a horrible childhood or something. but i never thought that they were evil inside or that they decided one day, “im going to do something truely evil.”

    i think some people are very scared of certain things and react to life overly-defensive, but i dont think they go out of their way to fuck shit up.

    however now that i think about it, yes i think child molesters and murderers and rapists are genuinely evil because at some point you are at a place of choice and these people know that what theyre doing is wrong and is about to shatter a life and the lives of the people who love them, so yes those people are truly evil and selfish and are very different from the rest of us.

    Michael asks, “My current girlfriend in a moment of sleepiness (she really was tired) called me her ex-boyfriend’s name. All the facts: 1) I believe she does love me 2) we recently had a nasty fight that lasted a few days (we made up a day before the name slip) 3) she broke up with her ex about 18 mos ago after a two year relationship and to my knowledge (lets say she’s telling the truth) has not had any contact with him for a long time – lets say over 6 mos.

    The question: How mad/upset should I be by the name slip?”

    the job of the man is not only to woo the woman but to keep her wooed. therefore it is your responsibility to keep her focused on calling out your name.

    you can do this by fucking her better than her ex, and dirtier, and more sexy. destinys child has that song say my name. when you bring it sneer and demand that she says yr name. smile so she knows youre not psycho but repeat the instruction. flip her over and say mario never did this to you did he baby. and if she moans and says no you say no who. and withhold until she says no michael he never fucked me like this.

    then buy a trucker hat and have your name airbrushed on it.

    what on earth have i done to deserve this