1. Monday, March 27, 2006

    did you know that coachella is only a month away? 

    it is. because of that im going to be trying to do as many coachella preview deals that i can. and i am asking for your help.

    if you know of any cool interviews of bands who are talking about coachella or are playing there who have good interviews or if youve been to coachella and want to share an experience on your blog and you want me to link to it, i will.

    im stoked because this is the first year that buzznet is officially a partner in the show and we’ll be there for both days which means we will probably spend three nights in the desert which means i should have some killer pictures for your ass.

    anyways get ready for a coachella gangbang of info and pictures and nonsense, bigger and badder than the sxsw coverage because i have a month to spazz out on it.

    but first lets talk about the mystery of christina aguilera and jordan bratman. does a man really just have to be a producer to get a chick like xtina? i dont understand it. i wanna understand it but i dont understand it. i dont understand anything.

    yesterday i put up the least attractive photo of myself that i could ever make and not only did some of the ladies go woooo but the bros were all, props man. is this the appeal of jordan bratman? the fuglier you look the more the ladies love you and the bros appreciate your courage?

    if thats the case im gonna grow a beard and start shopping at the 99 cent store for my apparrel. oh yes they have clothes.

    this week in rock is mighty rockin here in LA. tomorrow rancid are doing another one of their acoustic shows at the tiny Echo. this week the strokes are playing at the universal and you can get tickets for $1 on ebay. and this weekend bad religion are playing at the long beach grand prix. i love all those bands but i have no one to see the strokes with. if ashley were here shed go with me but alas shes in vegas.

    speaking of old flames, my old gf chris wrote me a note. a card really. from africa. it was like a message from the past. it was sorta eerie. she told me to follow my dreams and follow my heart.

    she must know that my heart says to direct porn and assasinate the current administration. figuratively of course as murder would prevent me from ascending into Heaven.

    each sunday ive been reading a little bit of the bible and last night’s chapter was that of the Tower of Babel, which is fascinating because the people making the Tower weren’t doing anything wrong, infact what freaked God out was they were totally working as a team and in order to stymie their efforts he confused their language and “scattered” them. it made me think that thats why we still have Mac and Windows.

    when i was talking on the phone with the minnesota blogger last night i kept thinking that i was being punk’d. i hope i wasnt but im pretty sure i was. she answered all the secret questions pretty well though. i guess its hard for me to believe that anyone really reads my blog, let alone reads it for years and years. starting when theyre teenaged. i guess in that sense im a lot like jordan bratman, the fugly spot in the universe who gets loved by the hottest chick on tv. it makes no sense but you accept it because it beats being loved by the hottest dudes in gay porn.

    ber + xtina and bratman pics + bush was determined to strike in iraq before invasion