and keeping a private diary is that if you happen to say that youre sad in your blog, people will react. its not that you dont want them to react, although often you dont, its that you just want to explain whats up for you and move on. whereas in a diary you spill your guts and noone will ever think that you have ulterior motives or youre about to take a long walk off a short bridge.
but people are sweet and caring and they do nice things when all along all you wanted to say was how you feel.
when i was younger i went through a variety of emotions that made it very easy to write. it was then that i came up with the tagline “nothing in here is true” to let my family and friends know that if i wrote a poem where i said i wanted to die, i was just being overly dramatic and sorta poetic.
so today when i wrote that i was sad i really was sad and i forgot that people actually read this thing, which is something i forget a lot. and karisa called me and the laist wrote their thing and people sent me nudes and flowers arrived. it was like ferris bueller when the school found out he was sick.
but the most interesting thing happened when an old flame of mine called me to tell me about the new boy shes getting serious with. i miss this girl because she has moved to nyc but we keep in touch and she asked about texas and etc and soon she started getting into graphic details about her sex life with this dude.
tony the man can do me all night. i swear to you, all night.
i was all, anna, im depressed, i dont want to hear that.
no tony, i thought you were the only one who can do me all night, but seriously he can do it alllll night. its like hes a machine. he never stops.
i was like, good for him and good for you but this doesnt cheer me up in the slightest.
she was like, hold on, that isnt the interesting part, i really love him and all but the fascinating thing is with you i would get wet just thinking about coming to your house, but with him its not that im not wet, i am, its that im not super wet like i used to be with you. why do you think that is?
and strangely that made me happy.
i told her that its because black men are the greatest lovers. i also told her that the next time shes in LA we’ll have to do a little experiment to see if i still have that effect over you. and she laughed and said yeah right im never going to leave this dudes side. ever.
which also made me happy because i love her and im happy when people i love are happy.
then i ate some chili, took a shower for the first time in two days, and suddenly i was 100% happier.
also, basart, the sopranos was on like 5 days ago. at some point i have to write about it. millions of people have already seen it. i only wait two days to write about Lost, so im only going to wait 2-3 for the sopranos.
everyone needs to watch these shows when they air or the next day, thats the new rule. then we can all discuss them on this blog. i heart you all but we have to get with the program.
great, now i just burned my rice.