1. Friday, March 31, 2006

    today is raymis 23rd birthday 

    and it seems like shes been 23 for 32 years now.

    its 118am here in Los Angeles and i wonder if Raymi knows its her birthday because she got on msn this morning before i woke and said simply “im sick too” and i didnt get to my computer soon enough to chat with her.

    its 119am here in LA and i should be in bed by now but before i logged off i went to her blog and saw that she reminded people that it was going to be her birthday today and some people ask for attention and some people get attention and some people deserve attention. raymi is all three of those people all in one. all topless too.

    raymi can do no wrong in my book. shes never done anything wrong. even when she was dead wrong she was right.

    just like that painting that was wrong, the one of the man with the hat and a pipe and it says this is not a pipe in french. fuck yeah its a pipe frenchman but thats such a cool thing to say in a painting that we’ll let you off the hook.

    raymi deserves to be let off the hook. and fil deserves a medal, but i guess raymi is that medal.

    seems to me that there are a whole mess of cool people in toronto and i dont know when im ever gonna get to those parts but when i do i want to document that city in relation to ms white the same way i documented seattle in relation to kurt kobain. i want to look at people and see if they are thinking about raymi. i want to see if theyre wearing MS Paint raymi shirts. i want to see if theyre secretly wanting to sing beatles songs at karaoke.

    i want to see if they know that theyve got the best blogger in the northern hemisphere right in their midsts. the reason for everything. the begining and the end. the light and the darkness. the heavens and the earths.

    i will never be as good as raymi at anything let alone blogging but thats ok because she shows me and you where we can get to. same way jordan taught everyone where the imaginary line is. same way hendrix showed us where the rock in rock n roll is. just like hugh hefner taught us what living your life was all aboot.

    when i met raymi i knew i was in the presence of superstardom. i knew she was bigger than the two of us. i knew that she looked down on me and she should have. not because i was anything to scoff at but because she was the top of the pops, the last chance power drive, the super infinity.

    people ask me whose the best and for years i tell them over and over, raymi and they go there and come back and most say they dont get it and i say you are the type of people who say bob dylan cant sing, youre the type of people who say baseballs boring, youre the type of people who tell the kids to turn down their music that its noise and that all rap music sounds the same. youre the type of people who say the bible was written for a different time. youre the type of people who fuck once a week with the lights off for five minutes in one position. quietly.

    i wouldnt know, nor do i want to know, but raymi to me seems to be one of those people who frighten you when she decides that shes gonna have sex with you. ive been frightened a few times with the ladies so i’d know. things get bitten hard. things get scratched. your prized possessions are apt to fall from dusty gay shelves. neighbors are going to hear things. items will be ripped. blood will start to flow. you start fucking back defensively. you try to establish a rhythm but there isnt any dumb rhythm there is passion and action and motion and wrestling and banging and smashing and crunching and animalism.

    i can imagine that thats how she fucks because thats how she blogs, and ive fucked a few bloggers and they all pretty much blog the way the fuck. and if you go to her site you will see that she blogs every day five six times a day and if you go to her boyfriends blog there are pictures of him smiling

    and running for his life.

    raymi is the queen of everything and two things will happen to her in her lifetime. either she will be overlooked by the mass populace who dont understand blogging and think that blogging has even the slightest bit to do with politics and old men and women slinging around partisan talking points, or she will be embraced rightfully and paid huge sums of money to be on tv which isnt really the perfect place for a great blogger but is a good place for raymi because she can do anything better than you.

    in my dream world i would have a television talk show called bloggers where i would be the host and raymi would be the cohost which has always been a joke because raymi plays second fiddle to no one, nor should she. her fiddle is bigger and crazier and far more entertaining and spectacular than anything you play with and best of all it has a soul. underneath all that real punk rock power and unforgetable style is something bigger than the endless beacon of here i am here i am here i am of also rans. at the heart of raymi the minx is a soul of a canadian white girl, a firebrand and a firestarter. the black part of the flame. its center. its magic. and that part today turns 23, so rejoice.

    + + +

    iPod Update! 20+ people have given $20 – the iPod fund drive is over! quit sending me money! thank you. thank you thank you!!! and now back to Raymi’s birthday!!!! + + +

    my interview with 19 yr old raymi + about raymi + raymi meets bunny + raymi’s blog