1. Tuesday, April 18, 2006

    its midnight. 

    ive been driniking. dkinrinking at mussos and frnaks in hollywoodl. one of the classic bar/restaurants in all of hollywood. and even though ive lived here for a long longlong loooong time i havenddt even been inside it intul tonoight. evne though when i worked last summer at the marketing company we shared a parking lot. even though bukowski totally drank there once he made it. even though hemingway dransk there which is why bukowski drabnk there. the stones love it there actually all old men love it there cuz its old school. it was nice.

    i went there because me and rob from e! and the lovely carolyn kellogg from laist have been trying to have drinks with me and neil romeneck for almost a month now. neal doesnt get his name spelld rotight because he ditched us. sumthing suddenly came up marsha brady. iv e gotta poop cuz i drank too many aremereto sours. which i want to now call amaretto smiles cuz thats what they do to me. they also let me i mean make me talk way too much.

    carolyun has the greatest red hair. not red like youre thinking RED fucking hair like ahhhhh. ive always wanted that. i might gro w back the frow just so i can dye it red and tell the world here i am fucker.s

    i was nervous about what to wear cuz iu wore shorts to work today and i wanted to wear shorts to mussos and franks abut its sorta fancy only cuz so many old people ago there. like cary grant would totally be there if he was still around. he might be there. rob and carolyn had martinis cuz theyre classy. im just a dope but i wore pants and i changed my gangsta flannel for a nice corderoy flannel. and i took off my cap at the bar.

    im wathsfing the cubs on tvio so dont tell me who won. cubds are down by one in the sixth. anyways it was very nice to talk with rob and carolym, im not sure how we woulda done it if neal was there cuz you couldnt move the barstols they were in the foloor real good incase of emregency. ui wonder if thats for earthqyuakes or drunks. btw today was the 100th anniversary of the frisco earthquake a hundred years ago. my ass is itchy. i should have my panjamas on. its 1212 why do i still have clothes on.

    anyways carolyn listens. i dont liseten. she also reads a lot. rob does too. i dont read anything buyt blogs. instead of coachella shes going to the LA book fair. she asked which writers would you meet if you could and i could only think of Lynda Barry and the chick who wrote wite oleander jante janet finch. i want to read bloggers and meet them, thats who i wanna meet. book writers bore me. write every day in public and thgen you’ll impress me. put out every damn day. buiild an audience. bust with your real life. who couldntr write fuction. fickton. fuktion. im gonna spell it right if it kills me FICTION ahhhh who cant write fiction? but write about your life and do it every day and make it not boring and then youre something. suddenly i can write.

    i dont have the patiene3 to write fictuin. see frauyd fraued frued freud i cant even sopell fiction right even though this whole blog is fuction., every time someone interviewds me they ask my age and if my name is really tony pierce or not. and i say im 21 and my name is tony hemingway but i changed it to poierce cuz none of you fuckers would believe whgo my papa reall y is. and they say really and i say nah. and htey say no really and i say yeah and they go fuck and i go no and they go no really seriously and i go yeah no maybe whocares.

    i got a lot of emails from people today. so many i cant even remember so many i dont think i wrote everyone back. i have ajob you know. my hands are sore from my job. i m sooo sorry if i dont write you back when you write me. i love the nice things everyone says but whoooo cubs tied it up. anyways i will write you back. if you write me and i dont write back it doesnt mean anything other than i suck ok. ok. anyways thatnks. dude sent me a cd and a book the other day and i havent written him back. this movie stuido sent me a movie that i totally watched and liked but i havent reviewd it yet. blog ads want me to interview some people and im gonna dtry to do that tomorrow during lunch. im a busy bee. i like being busy but its getting in the way of my romantic interestes. giving that advice about asking three gurls out a week is good fucking advice no pun intended and im thinking when was the last time i asked out theree girls in a week, probabaly college.

    as a matter of fact there was a week were i asked out a girl every day for a week and they all seaid yes. now of course i was far handsomer then, and girls were hornier in those days and the sun was brighter and gas was cheeopre and when youre one of only 50 black men in a school of 18,900 and half of those are chickes so 9500 and half of htose are hot so 4800 and half fo those are single so 2400 and half of those have the jungle feaver so youve got 1200 stone cold foxes to find if my math is correct which it probably isnt because somehow i got validated at musso anf franks and still i had to pay eight bucks to park. anyways they all said yes and in those days i awas a virgin and all i wanted to do was kiss goodnight and see what they were gonna wear. iw as bizarre. and that was before i strted drugs.

    laist + when i was interviewed by laist last year rob attack cat + mia neal