and music was never as good again.
tomorrow was the day i was driving a pretty girl home after making love to her and we heard the news on the radio and we switched the dial but it was being reported on that station too so we just turned the radio off and held hands while trying to stay in our little glow.
the annoying part was the reports that morning werent fleshed out. the wound was so devistating that they couldnt identify the man. they werent sure if it was a fan, or a guest, or the houseboy. thinking positively i kept hoping it was anyone but kurt.
but thinking good thoughts doesnt always work.
what some people dont realize when they talk about 80s music is nirvanas first album bleach slammed the door on 80s music in 1989. sure there was the sweet About A Girl and Love Buzz but there was also School and my favorite Negative Creep.
there were only really three nirvana albums, bleach, nevermind, and in utero.
as great as incesticide is it was b-sides and outtakes and live BBC radio takes, and then you have the unplugged record which was magical and the live record which wasnt.
so of the trinity of real LPs bleach started it off raw and hungry and unpolished and agressive and outstanding. and it was an 80s record, just like back n black was, just like number of the beast, just like bug, just like daydream nation, and doolittle, and tim.
it was alternative nation with kennedy, it was metal meets punk meets pre-grunge. no one knew it was going to lead to nevermind. least of all me, even though i was playing it on the radio in 89-90, just like nobody knew that skinny barry bonds on the pirates would end up being that big fucking monster in frisco.
hindsight is 20-20 but at the time nirvana was a seed that geffen sold the cow for.
and im telling you, when nevermind came out i played it that very day and i didnt get it right away, but i did get it shortly after and it was overwhelming. and awesome. and perfect and insane.
the other day i was in the office of paul tollett the president of goldenvoice and the founder of coachella and he had a illustrated concert poster on his wall. and it said nirvana butthole surfers and tad. and it was right next to his desk. and i said hey i was at that show. forum. december 1994. and it was one of those times when i felt like maybe he believed me maybe he didnt.
so i said without him asking, funniest thing i remember about that show, it wasnt even sold out.
and since mr tolletts whole business is about selling tickets he repeated exactly what i said back to me and he knew i was there. too. it was a nice bonding moment.
much better than the bonding i was doing with the pretty girl who id just made love to when we were driving across the desert and hearing the unconfirmed reports from seattle. for she and i had listened to grunge begin and then blossom while doing our things at ucsb from 87-91. that whole time we hadnt had sex, and how ironic that on the same night that kurt was dying we were living in a way we’d never lived before.
on the drive home i turned on the radio. kroq. and some jackhole prettyboy was telling the bad news and trying to tell us how much nirvana meant to him and i turned it off and i drove in silence, stunned, but not completely because we had all heard about the lame suicide attempt that kurt had done in rome or paris or whereever. and i knew about it first hand because my friends in europe had tickets that were refunded after the band was forced to cancel the rest of the tour there.
and i kept thinking how can you end your career after just three records. and a baby. and the perfect band. and the world in the palm of your hand.
and he said like this.
tomorrow night, saturday, i will be in waterloo canada at the flying dog drinking all night, hopefully with you, and i dont need a ride to the airport because Pitt got my flight changed for 6pm sunday evening. so please join us.
The Flying Dog
341 Marsland Drive