1. Wednesday, May 31, 2006

    haloscan wont let me close comments 

    and i dont really like limiting speech anyway, but thank you all for your nice words on my summer vacation post.

    i have a good friend who can see into the future. the bible says that its cheating if you go to a medium, but that doesnt mean that im not sometimes tempted. hell, im all the time tempted.

    the only thing i would ask her is how long will this summer vacation last for. that way i would know whether to go on an excellent road trip or just go to vegas for the weekend and meet japanese girls.

    i dont think im reading enough bukowski. if theres one thing that the master has taught us is youre going to get fired. or better yet, youre going to be unemployed a bunch. that you should just go with the flow.

    no one ever said everythings gonna work out.

    even in the bible moses never made it to the promised land.

    when i wrote down the things i did at buzznet i did it for a few reasons. the first was to remind myself because i have a terrible memory.

    the second was to remind myself of things that can happen if i get out of the house. deep down im terribly shy and i enjoy the comfort of a small dark house high speed internet directv and one or two cheerleaders. not only going to parties but hosting parties is pretty much out of my comfort zone. and airplane travel is something that i’ll leave to the businessmen and people who roll around their carryon.

    and the third reason was remind myself to stay in jobs where i can get paid to do the things that i love.

    today i dropped off the laptop and camera and it was all smiles and handshakes. and yes i do plan on continuing to use their wide array of products. i was in before i worked there, id be silly to stop after taking some of their money. if you recall bill veeck worked one summer for the cubs and it was his idea to plant the ivy out there. later he would end up owning the white sox for many years. but if you remember when he retired youd see him out int he bleachers at wrigley with his shirt off, his wooden leg glimmering in the sun, and his cup of beer beside him.

    its 11am and im back in my pajamas as acdc is on. for those about to rock. when i got home there was a big box at my front door. what was in the box? a little bong was in it. there was a note of encouragement and it was signed “the fans”. next to the box was the biggest baggie ziplock ive ever seen tucked into a manilla envelope. inside ziplock it was buldging full of what the kids call weed.

    unfortunately im straight edge now. and its not even like that shit would work on me anymore, but i do appreciate the gesture. and someone worthy might come by needing something like that.

    what i need is exactly what im getting, good weather, good music, a healthy stream of pornography thank you ladies, and of course good health.

    yesterday i went to the doctor for my check up after he cured me. he told me that i had normal blood pressure, no diseases, and low cholestorol. the first person i thought of was karisa because she knows exactly the sort of drive-thru diet that i have and she is constantly on my ass about my cholestorol and i called her as soon as i left him and i was all ha ha! the doc says some people just process it better than others. but i told him i was going to start playing basketball again which is true. compton high wednesday nights bitches.

    which brings me back to the nudes. who are you people? i love you! that is all.

    today will consist of taking a good inventory of my fantasy baseball teams, a visit to frys electronics to return some defective merchandise – surprise, a rental of xmen 2 so i can see xmen 3, avoiding writing a book, avoiding reading a book, actually re-reading Cruddy which i highly recommend, ten sit ups, a very long shower.

    and avoidence of filling up my tank because full tanks could lead to very long road trips without the proper house sitter laundry mix cd creation impromptu ridiculousness.

    and then i wouldnt be around for when flagrant formally asks me to be her private bodyguard. which of course would consist of me hiring an actual bodyguard at half my rate and being her chauffer with the profits.

    you people laugh but if britney spears hasnt taught you anything shes taught you the importance of a good chauffer.

    so to review, read bukowski, read the bible, read veeck as in wreck, read cruddy and learn from britney. peaceout. ps i talked to chris in africa on saturday and she was all hollywood where you at. i was all hey have you taught those people the macarena yet? and she laughed and said no. and i was all good let me teach it to them. and she was all be my guest and laughed and laughed.

    listen to tsar

    flagrant disregard + her roadtrip pics + ann e ferris + raspberry at sasquatch