1. Wednesday, May 24, 2006

    i feel dirty even typing this. 

    but fine, i’ll admit it. i watched American Idol last night.

    and i watched it a little last week too.

    i tuned in because they suckered me into it. their shit worked. i wanted to see how that gray haired no talent schmuck could have beat out all my nubian princesses and that rocker and is poised to beat the pretty little teengirl whose mama is a voice teacher.

    to be honest i dont get it. how the fuck is the soul patrol gonna be your next american idol?

    i dont think simon can understand it either which is why he tried to sabatoge the upset-in-the-making by crowing him the Idol last night, thus creating the reverse-psychology backlash that will spill over to the voting.

    dont get me wrong, im not crazy about the chickie either. she does nothing for me. and Somewhere Over the Rainbow? wasnt that done way better by that gay dude in Star Search like twenty years ago? wanna impress me, do Rainbow Connection or that angry kelly clarkson tune that she did at the grammys.

    but last week when they showed how elliot had 33% and soul patrol had 33% and chickie had 33% i knew that whatever dude made the cut would win

    because anyone who would vote for eliot over the babe or gray hair over the babe in the semi finals would vote for the dude over the babe in the finals.

    my theory about bro is all the dads who watch american idol with their teen daughters see a little of themselves in the bozo. they see a guy who cant dance or sing up on that stage like hes got a stick in his ass and they root him on out of narcisism. plus they know they’ll never bang that chick. thats the sort of girl who never puts out, always does her homework, and wont even let the high school quarterback get his pinky stinky at prom – but will let him pay for the limo and the lobster and the tickets and the flowers and the etc etc. whore.

    america should be ashamed of themselves.

    look what the eurohttp://www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gifs are doing over in europe. theyve got an american idol competition too. its called the eurovision blah blah blah. you know who won over there? some Gwar ripoff with a shitty song. but at least they look like Gwar.

    im never gonna buy a taylor hicks cd. im never going to buy a kristin mcphee record. the only thing im gonna buy is playboy when she poses in there in five years, which is why everyone says Fox is the real winner of this second rate talent show, but the real winner is hugh hefner because you know the Girls of American Idol is gonna be a best seller.

    i hope mandesa gets the centerfold.

    SIRI is at 3.63 + gilliam + video of guns n roses live last week