1. Wednesday, May 10, 2006

    a year ago today i bashed the new weezer record. i stand behind the review. 

    make believe
    geffen records

    expectations are everything and when pinkerton came out many moons ago pop music turned its back on its most unlikely genius only to rediscover him when it was too late.

    nobody ran out to buy the followup to the classic blue album, but after a few months we all realized its glittering wonderfulness and even if rivers doesnt consider it a masterpiece, everyone else does and thats all that matters, right?

    apparently not if youre the guy who writes the songs.

    make believe is just another in a growing line of the non blue album non pinkerton records by americas favorite nerds that reminds you why people get wedgies.

    other than the cheesy single beverly hills, many of the tracks in the new record sound like typical post-pinkerton weezer: rivers singing little timid love songs of longing to girls who would probably do him if he just shut his damn mouth.

    rivers has turned into such a fragile little boy that its almost as if he has bought into the clark kent myth forgetting that theres a superhero beneath those glasses.

    make believe is so soft it makes the last cure record sound like metallica.

    remind me not to let my rock idols take time off to go to harvard.

    any classic weezer guitar solos? yes, one. on the ridiculous call-for-help frat anthem “we are all on drugs”.

    did rick rubin lose all the good songs in his beard?

    no, “hold me” is perfect for the thirteen year old cheerleader in your life who watches too much american idol and “freak me out” is proof that anyone could be the postal service.

    weezer and rick rubin have made a record ideal for little girls while turning their backs on the young men of their audience. theres no in the garage, theres no dope nose, hell theres not even a love explosion. did rivers have a migrane when he recorded this?

    bring back matt sharp and we can make believe this never happened.