1. what are you doing this weekend
2. do you get a four-day weekend?
1. what are you doing this weekend
2. do you get a four-day weekend?
i didn’t know this until i got an email from one of his fans who dropped it in there as an aside, but i guess this proves matt and i arent gay lovers.
matt was born on a glacier in the north pole. because of global warming he came down to civilization to yell at those responsible.
i met him on a sunny day on venice beach and put a dollar in his guitar case after he played some molly hatchet for me.
taller in person than he appears on disc, matthew knows what he likes and will happily tell you about it.
favorites include apple computers, news.bbc.co.uk, american guitars, vancouver, and of course his dogs.
every band or recording artist has a pattern when it comes to their fans. some fans want to know every detail, some fans are totally forgiving and loyal, some whisper behind their back, some are only there during the peaks.
matt good fans are totally dedicated, knowledgeable, and incredibly sweet.
matt is also suprisingly trusting. the man has told me many secrets. maybe he just understands that we at the xbi know everything anyway, so you may as well fess up,
but matt has shown me the respect of trust and for that i have also shared some good tales with him as well.
the day after i no longer worked for buzznet i wasnt feeling so great and i was driving a stolen car down the 405.
it had no roof.
it was a convertible but the ible had been converted to $50 or something so there i was in a late model buick or ford with no roof.
i know this because it was very windy with no roof and matt called my cell phone after he read my blog. we talked and made plans and then he played his new hit single for me. it was a great song and you will all love it when you get to hear it. its a tune about a tidal wave and lots of the words struck me even while in a foul mood, even while in a stolen vehicle, even without having the best reception on the cell phone as the wind wipped around that old bucket.
and then he called a judge in new york to help free lil kim.
your favorite son is a talented bastard and you should be proud of him.
happy birthday mr good, may you have 135 more of them.
because everything suddenly looked great, and i wanted all of it.
they had full
def comedy jam bright purple or blue or teal pimp suits for $100. id ask the guy how long it would take to alter it and he’d say ahhh 15 minutes. they all said that.
last night i went to two concerts. first hawksley workman at the viper room and then Love at the whiskey. i totally enjoyed myself at the hawksley show and canada, that dude is the real deal.
and i was watching the Love show where i was supposed to meet my date and i saw the opening band and then i talked to mike randall who’d been playing with Arthur Lee in Love for a long while and my date showed up and she didnt look too good.
i mean she looked good. but she looked sick. apparently she had been drinking.
and apparently she wanted me to go home with her because she was afraid she would puke in her roommates bedroom as its something that she says she likes to do when shes drunk.
so i felt bad for missing my bro mike but a fascinating thing happened as i was holding her hair in one of the filthiest bathrooms ive ever been in in a hollywood apartment, i realized that hot girls get away with murder. especially if they have good taste in music.
walk into the place and janes addictions nothings shocking is on. i was all, whos home? shes like, o i just like music playing all the time, its my cd jukebox. and there it is a 200 disc old school cd player.
its 420 and i really wanted to see superman today but i was up so late i didnt wake up till 1. wtf time schedule is that?
i dont even know if the cubs won.
anyways heres what you do when you go to a hot girls house who has like antique furniture everywhere and like 12 bed spreads for some reason and your head keeps saying omg youre not going to get naked in that bed, those spreads must have been washed like twice in ten years
what you do is you pray
and you listen to her brush her teeth and hum in the bathroom because shes feeling better now, and you scan the room for somewhere that you can do what you need to do, and there are no big comfy chairs or ottomans or coffee tables,
and since youve never been with her before, you consider the wall
a year ago yesterday
band girls money
why is this man smiling?
because this is the tsar record he’s been waiting for for 6 and a half years.
this is the garagey isla vista punk pop that was pretty much missing five years ago when tsar’s self titled debut came out on hollywood records.
on that record you had to wade through miles of gloss to get the the heart of the rock. here its in your face, but clear and as sharp and dangerous as a ripped beer can.
everyones heard the title track from the nestle crunch commersh and from the band’s website and myspace page, so I Wanna Get Dead is the kick to the head that sets the tone for the rest of the record. its gonna be fun its gonna be poppy its gonna be tight and its gonna have lyrics that will have you thinking is he serious cuz i hope hes not serious.
lets hope hes not serious.
The Love Explosion is a song that personally i dont like but thats me. i dont like it because it sounds like the theme to a disney channel tv show. but the good news is we get to hear the tsar horn section for the first time. they’ll be better later on.
Superdeformed is an obvious beatles tip of the hat and if you know me you know theres nothing i like less than an obvious beatles tip of the hat. still, strangely, against my will, the heart has a soulful center thats irresistable.
and even though i dont know where i am
dude, i know where im at
and does he wish us Shalom at the end of the song?
Straight busts in kicking ass and taking names. apparently the narrator wants to establish that he’s “straight”. hes a moustache man. theres a two guitar attack. this was the music from the nissan commercial. it sounds like an off road anthem. hes straight each and every way. he bends like a stick. best riff on the album full of riffs.
straight. its the new style
every dianetic on the miracle mile
knows im straight
he screams he rocks he wails he protests far too much and the drum roll right right before the end is perfect.
what follows is Wrong. my favorite tsar song in a long time.
warriors, i saw them come out to play
i love it because its a perfect jeff whalen recording. theres vocal fun. theres sex drugs rock references. theres those harmonies that are tsar tsar tsar theres great guitar solos weird choruses
turn and run fast boy
theres whalen blaming blaming blaming and then yelling and then some of the most beautiful chord changes that lead into dans best guitar solo that just goes on into the distance and if i die tomorrow and someone has to stand up and say something at my wake say if theres one thing tony hated about the years after grunge died was there have been pussy ass butt smugglers who cant play guitar filling up the airwaves, hes glad hes dead because rocks been dead for the last 10 years, the rare exception being tsar
go glam the conquerer worm
defender of the american way
a friend to the weak the smug the huddled thugs
a waste of money, its sad but true
but in the morning it will feel alright
set a course of magnetic strips for a broken heart
we are screaming toeing the line
and disposable by design
all i know is i could have sworn that its been at least a decade since whalen dropped acid, but these killer lyrics say otherwise.
track 9 is Startime, the best song on the album. i know i said Wrong was but i was wrong
feedback snarling guitar ancy drums a regroup and a wham
and take a sample of these lines
la is the place to be
and if it aint as shocking as it used to be
take the bullet out your head put it back in the gun
put your finger on the trigger
my brothers are all proud rockers
wild and aloof and trippin on acid
maybe you live like a suicide
hell someones gotta stand up and die
cuz youre the young lee harvey
man youre david koresh
and if you dont like that why dont you go home
and watch some tivo fucker
the hey yeah never let me down
and then the horns come in and fight the guitars and drums.
the welch whalen finale You Can’t Always Want What You Get cleanses our palettes and the cd is done at a little over 33 minutes which whalen has always said records should be: quick fast perfect and out.
and this one rocks.
thats why im in favor of it.
last night i got a few ideas about running a good dance club. first thing, you must have gogo dancers. and if youre going to have go go dancers, let one of the stages be for people doing the robot.
karisa could be on one of those go go stages, but not everyone should, but who doesnt want to? but if one of the stages was for the robot, all you’d have to be able to do is fit into the costume. charge people $20 a song and youve got a nice little cash-cow up in that shit.
i was also noticing some of the healthier sistas in the club. many of these young women could really dance. much better than some of their skinnier friends. one of the go go stages should be for clubgoers who get picked out from the floor. so if you have four stages you can have two for the hot typical chicks, one for the robot and one for the amateurs. and the money that comes from the robot stage can go to the paid gogo girls and everyones happy.
tonight im going to two concerts. wesley workman was really good opening for tsar and his label has been very good to me with tickets so im gonna go check him out at the viper room before going across the street for the Arthur Lee benefit.
not only is is a great cause since the money goes to Arthur’s medical bills as he fights leukemia, but i also get to see my buddy Mike from Baby Lemonade who has been touring with Lee as a guitarist in Love for years.
for years Mike worked at the wilshire Moby Disc in santa monica. the other day i was talking with Jon Regardie from the downtown news and Joseph Mailander from the Martini Republic about the death of record stores in los angeles, especially on the westside.
two of the record stores i forgot to mention was i bought some of my favorite records in the 80s at mr. record on wilshire over by 28th i think, and i forgot to mention moby disc where mike and rusty would always turn me on to the best shit in the place.
at school the joke was that there were three black dudes at ucsb who werent on the basketball team and they all loved the replacements. me, monty luke, and mike.
yesterday i went shopping for hours. it was terrible. i hate buying clothes for myself especially when theres a time limit involved. i hate time limits. then i got lost and couldnt figure out where i parked my car.
i took a lot of pictures
and yes ive been druinking and yes it s 248am amd ues karisa drove us home which maejkes me a responsigble driver and yes i ahda a great time, how cant you have a grerat time at a sweet party with 11 dollar drinks and hot babes everywhere and the hottest babe of the whole place as yuour dance partner.
there were gogo girls and normal girls and the normal girls, check it woul let you get right up on them and start donggy dance them whicvh is the new dance of you grinding up against them and them bending down so you can and yu givngin gthem your card and them puttin git down there bra and then you movionmg nt tothe necxt chick
yes i was driunking. eys i drank orange juice and vocedalk which eaquals a screwdriver
amnd ;et me tell you a little about karisas dress
it was low top,. ive never seen her wear anything where her boobies were poking out like that. and it was cut in a way that it showed her legs. and she danced and i danced with her and sometimes she took off her heels cuz they wer ebig and OBI Thrice showed up and 50 was supposed to shwo up but karisa had to work in the morn adn did i mention the googogogogogogogogo dancers. shit. and did i mention that karisa is the best girl to go to these dance contests with becayus shes fun and everyone loves her
and i wore a stupid hat and a suit and hse dint laugh once. not infront of me at least
and people wore jeans and baseball hats ans that upscale and trendy warning was bullshit, in LA you can wear whatever you want as long as youre on the list or as long as you have a super hot babe with you
and i wore my converse all star black leather shoes amnd im gladi did andim glad you still read me even though i havent been giving it my 100 percent but i have though of you adn thats why i give you this video
it sout of love
nothing more nothingless
arent i an adult all of a sudden.
speaking of which i need to buy a suit today and im looking for your help.
i was invited last night to a BET Awards after-party tonight with one of the major record labels.
the invite said to wear something “sexy, elegant, and upscale” so immediately i thought of a big purple suit and a huge purple hat and a cane. maybe a monocle. only problem is i dont have a lot of cash.
are purple suits BET Awards ’99? or am i good?
also i think ms karisa j hotshit might accompany me, which means it doesnt really matter what i wear, but still, i will be meeting fancy people, so it will help if i can look halfway decent, or halfway rememberable.
shit i gotta get some business cards too. k. gotta fly. love ya. gimme tips on what i should wear.
one of my favorite books. maybe because it was about the Cubs and the Cubs didnt get a lot of books written about them during the 20th century.
it was, if i recall, a pretty funny book about some of the loveable losers to play ball on the northside.
every now and then i will look for it on eBay or whatever to see if i can get a picture of the cover, and today was my lucky day. i also got to see what its estimated value is. $64.99.
i dont even think that during college when i had to buy expensive text books that i ever paid $65 for a 100 page paperback.
although those were the old days when a sack of buds went up to $45 an eighth and someone wrote a letter in to the paper trying to tell everyone that becauase weed was a black market item, that if nobody paid $45 then it would only get sold at $40.
unfortunately in those days not everyone read the paper.
and apparently not everyone read Stuck on the Cubs back in the day because now its so rare that a guy can get away with selling it for sixty five bones.
did i tell you tsar plays tonight. did i tell you i found my battery charger for my camera. did i tell you that ive been listening to all these new cds all weekend but im about to pop in the shower and guess what i just made. a nirvana led zep mix.
In other news Gawker released a long story by Rivers back when he was in college. Here’s an excerpt.
“What’s this??” I asked myself. “Rate-my-camel-toe.com? Disgraceful! I’d better click on some more pictures here just to make sure my eyes aren’t deceiving me.”
One time, I even made the incredibly stupid decision of going to a “pajama” party at the Playboy Mansion. I sat by the dance floor the whole night, twitching and drooling, slightly, as hundreds of nearly-naked women writhed en masse to the music. When a warm, wet, female mouth suddenly whispered in my ear, “Let me know if you see anything you like—I can make it happen,” my glasses fogged over completely.
what rivers is saying is he needed a wingman.
‘s 3:06a and i actually might get a little sleep tongiht. ive been drinking with a young lady whos sleeping now and i ate some very tasty zancou chicken and i was mr big spender i spent $3 on a little box of rice but it really did the trick and we microwaved some baked beans which is smoenthnig i never do which is why i guess the lord put other people on this globe.
im tired from working all weekend and goingto sleep at 7am like a crackhead. if i can really get to sleep at 3:!5 or so then that will get me back on a little better schedule. who knew a pretty girl in your bed is the answer for insomnia. give the dumbass a reason to go in there.
its been hot in la and tonight for some reason just as i was going to lean in to kisser for the first time this huge windstorm started and now all of a sudden its over. i was all hmmmm is that a sign? is that the heavens telling me to stay away from this one. then i was thinking what if shes thinking the same things what if shes saying to her people “oh you mean not him?”
fortunately we disobeyed our advisors and did what you should do outside the good luck club and thats kiss a gift horse in the mouth.
i was contemplating buying a stacker washer/drier from this cuban girl for $350. then it was gonna cost me another $200 to get thye gas piopes in there and configured right. and while i was deciding all that i went to the laundray mat and it cost me $8 to do all of my laundry and i was all you know that wasnt so baad at all. so there will be no washer drier in the house.
cubs lost today against minnesota even with derrek lee and it was aramis ramirez’s birthday and karisa, pictured, went camping this weekend and jeanine came down here from santa barbara and
Tsar plays tomorrow
for your ass
tomorrow being today, monday
and opening up for Tsar
from canada, Hawksley Workman
k im out
stevie wonder with a live band