1. Monday, June 5, 2006

    everyones complaining about the sopranos finale 

    and by everyone of course i mean karisa.

    is that the way you finish a season? she asked rhetorically.

    what, tension-filled ridiculous finales arent her cup of tea?

    warning more spoilers than i can imagine in one post.

    as many as i can remember.

    in less than a few weeks my man aj is suddenly a family man, christopher is not only married but dating juliana marguiles and doing drugs with her in movie theatres when hes not banging her, the gayest show in television suddenly became a christmas fable where enemies dont get wacked they suffer heartattacks, and meadow is no where to be found. shes my baby.

    i really dont know what happened to this season, she tells me. karisa. not meadow. meadow understands. meadow started the season stripping for us. for me. for america. when meadow was stripping the cubs still had derrick lee. scott mcclellan was still our press secretary. we still trusted our government.

    now after all those weeks in the hospital, from pergatory or heaven/hell or whereever tony was during his coma, we’re suppose to think about how gorgeous the sopranos house is? baby you should leave that house as fast as you can. why do you think meadows in la with my unemployed ass? because even east hollywood is safer than that house. so dance little girl dance.

    and who can complain about a season finale that starts with a frozen decapitated head in the first minute? im starting to think that some people have been spoiled.

    or what about that sweet line that “the shah” tells his girlfriend right before that building explodes, “alright sweetheart, theres something ive gotta get straight between us.” followed seconds later with a lawyer explaining, “and… last, transfer of the deed to Jamba Juice.”

    remember the penguin movie, when you cried?

    that was all in the first six minutes.

    of all people, karisa should know that sometimes the best things happen in the first six minutes.

    let the past be bygones

    your pal billy, whatever happened there.

    whatever happened there?

    fuck what you meant cocksucker.

    the pretenders singing precious.

    – i got a son, hector, hes three.
    – uh thats cool.

    hey no matter what happened, we did make money didnt we?

    for some people depression is a result of forced introversion.

    do it today, for all our sakes, my wife needs a career.

    is anthony soprano like that?

    – it’s just weird, you know, being where he’s been.
    – he hasnt been anywhere. nothing happened i told you that.
    – it doesnt matter, hes been there in his mind.

    that was all in the first twenty minutes.

    maybe she didnt like the ending of the ending. after tony tells his dying adversary to stop crying. as the little fat boy gets to watch tv but the little girl sophia has to help her mom and the women in the kitchen.

    maybe she didnt like anthony sr being introduced to blanca by anthony jr as hes wearing a beret.

    hey come here, you, come here.

    – shes 10 years older than him and shes puerto rican!
    – dominican… maybe. at least shes catholic.

    – nice piece, that necklace, where did you get it?
    – the mall

    love to fin, eh

    gage + ming + leah + blank of the day