today is my homeboy jeff solomon’s 13th birthday.

hes now a man.

born to mountain goats in the south of france, jeff learned at an early age the value of friends when a grizzly bear found their humble goathouse. right before jeff and his family were about to be ripped to shreads and eaten a pack of gardener snakes jumped from a plane freaking out the bear and saving the lives of the solomons.

jeff has been repaying his friends endlessly over the years, from deliving our children, to gentle yet firm backrubs, to even fixing our computers as they break down from overuse and bottomless strands of dna.

i first met jeff at the daily nexus in santa barbara when i was running into the office to drop off a story and run out as quickly as i could. jeff was sitting on a couch playing the acoustic guitar. he had no shoes on. his long hair reached down to his ass and tried to tickle his hole.

he winked at me as we acheived eye contact. he was kidding. but was he? i didnt want to know. but i did. but i didnt. of course i didnt.

years later i still dont know what he meant by that wink and ive seen jeff in dresses and skirts and in wigs and bikinis. ive seen jeff play bass for my favorite rock group tsar dressed as a european soccer fan, if seen him play bass for san franciscos mighty thee mystakes in a tuxedo, and i saw him play for the brothers steve in isla vista but not for very long because there were drunk girls in need of a quickie makeout session.

without jeff solomon there would be a lot of unwritten blog posts from not just this blog but from welch, layne, ben sullivan, and so many others. most of LA probably.

right now hes putting together a supercomputer for me so i can do some sweet shit that you aint never seen before. and i will reward him handsomely with baseball cards. since they pay the rent.

i dee jayed at jeffs wedding a few years ago which lead to me dee jaying two weddings this year. i played exactly the same songs and nobody noticed. which is why jeffs the greatest. he has one and a half children, several dogs, a beautiful house, a wife thats far too good for him, and a bass that has his name on it for the day that i get married and need a twenty minute bass solo in the middle of a cover of big bottom.

jeff and i covered the news together a few times in santa barbara, we crawled under houses in frisco, and here in la i let him sift through my porn every six months as he upgrades my shit and laughs and laughs at my hairy ass.

he may be the nicest man in LA since i saw ben sullivan swat a gnat in palm springs.

i hope he likes my bar mitvah gift.

jeff and erin’s wedding + jeff in tsar + in the victorians + marrying steve and heather