the miss universe pageant ended in tragedy

last night when the newly crowned winner, 18 yr old Zuleyka Rivera Mendoza fainted when she found out that i no longer date teenagers.

what she didnt know is i make exceptions for miss universes.

things to do today? i need to pay off these parking tickets.

i need to go to home depot to get two hooks for my whiteboard calendar.

and i need to get a nice roll of garbage bags at the 99 cent store.

isnt my life exciting? i think i may faint.

ten bucks she didnt faint because she was nervous and excited and the lights were hot and this city is hot and miss universe is hot,

but she fainted because she hasnt eaten in a week, shes on diet pills, and she snorts speed off the ass cheeks of virgins.

some nice fan sent me a Taschen book of all these olde fashioned sex pictures. like from the 1400s-1800s. and something that i noticed is even in their illustrations and paintings, the most desireable women were the curvy ones.

there are no skinny girls in the erotic images of old.

or very few, i should say, nitpickers.

for the record i thought miss trinadad was hot, i also liked miss japan, and miss denmark.

im glad miss usa didnt win, she was a ditz, and i was quite surprised how Latin the whole show was, obviously pandering to the 28 Latin countries who were being represented.

i also think the top ten was hotter than the top five.

i blame tom green who was one of the judges.

the flaming lips played the hollywood bowl tonight

but instead of seeing them play, i went over to the cousin of a professional cheerleaders house who should be a cheerleader herself because shes even hotter than her cousin yeah i said it to watch the miss universe pageant.

plus i thought there was a good chance that i was gonna get some of that shit.

not that i needed it mind you, that department has been tremendously bountiful this summer which might be a reason that i havent written much here, since all i want to do is write about the streak of luck but you dont want to appear a braggart.

lets just say that i have nothing to brag about tonight.

she wouldnt even allow me to play her this song which i put on my ipod especially for her because, i dont know, it was the reason i wanted to go to the show in the first place until i heard a recording that i had of beck doing it on kcrw.

not that i listen to kcrw much but

“Do You Realize”

Do You Realize – that you have the most beautiful face
Do You Realize – we’re floating in space
Do You Realize – that happiness makes you cry
Do You Realize – that everyone you know someday will die

And instead of saying all of your goodbyes – let them know
You realize that life goes fast
It’s hard to make the good things last
You realize the sun doesn’t go down
It’s just an illusion caused by the world spinning round