busblog

nothing in here is true

  1. Thursday, August 31, 2006

    Wow, holy high school cafeteria argument. 

    Just go sit at another table. – Meags

    tel me about it baby, but such is my so called life.

    if this was a real diary and not a nothing in this is true blawg id say

    oh dear diary,

    tonight anna and i were supposed to go to the rock n roll show at the avalon.

    and not just any show, but the format who i love and despite whatever issues i had with jana pants while she was here, the worst of all being her dancing around in her underwares while i was trying to write i mean omg. but despite that she has the greatest taste in music of all.

    in the short period of time that she was here she turned me on to blood meridian, blood brothers, and best of all the format who are over dramatic and happy and just so good it ought to be musical theatre. like if radiohead ate meatloaf and shit a brass section out.

    produced by steve macdonald of redd kross

    of course.

    ridiculously perfect.

    fucker probably had a boner for the entire session.

    i told jeff whalen that it sounded like a grown up version of the pooh sticks.

    queen humping the arcade fire at the bequest of scissor sisters.

    odds of you turning gay are high but the odds of you taking a chick like anna kournikova to it and getting laid are even higher.

    but alas suddenly something suddenly came up and its hard to argue with a girl who actually has a life, not to mention a boyfriend, but the timing is horrible, for now its four twenty and im depressed, not just because i wanted to see this band but see it with her because

    if i take clipper girls cousin she will say something so clipper girls cousin like see tony this is why i love you of which i will have to say something so tony which is read my lips no new taxes which rhymes with i dont love you.

    and if i go alone i will be sad the whole time.

    oh diary why does my life need to sucksorz. i cant wait to join the marines.

    id put lines like that in my diary to see if my mom was reading it.

    xoxoxo

    tony

  2. Wednesday, August 30, 2006

    youre the hottest girl ever 

    i told her and meant it and she said your cooking lacks any flavor whatsoever.

    i said youre just jealous that im going to drive around the country without you. she said im jealous that youre going to drive around two countries without me. i said then dont be mean about my beef stroganoff.

    what she senses is that im excited to go. what she probably noticed was that i never unpacked my bag from last time. what she probably sees is my place is clean because all ive cared about has been work and sleep.

    overnight ive become the most boring man ever and she cant find out about my life through the blog so she text messages me and i say anna dont you have a bf to be bothering

    i went to the grocery store looking for anti inflamatories for my hands. i remember that the doctor many years ago got me the technical version but his nurse told me that it was either advil or alleve or tylenol or something and strangely enough none of those boxes says anti-inflammatory on it.

    someone left tiger woods pga 2006 on my doorstep for the psp this morning

    either this person is really nice or really mean since i really should be resting my hands as much as possible.

    although cooking was nice.

    dave letterman just had the worst comedian of all time on his show. charlie hill a native american comedian. he seemed stoned. almost like they werent his jokes. for his sake i hope he was stoned And those werent his jokes.

    i pay too much for my post office box. but i get some sweet shit in it.

    in less than a week im back on the road.

  3. when i heard alphaville for the first time 

    ticketrl8.jpg i never thought that id have to hear them for the rest of my life. dont ever weep for kurdt.

    ive had this to-do list that has been hard as fuck.

    try it one day. make a list of things that you seriously need to get to but for some reason are a super pain in the ass. ive had this list for a week now and today i totally crossed off two of them and i feel like a million bucks.

    each of the items took me a total of 45 minutes today.

    i am such a loser.

    but in my glow from accomplishment i made two more items for a different list.

    - if youre awake, and if there isnt a special lady in the house, at 2am blog.
    - if youre awake, and if there isnt a special lady in the house, at 230am write your book.

    so here it is 230am and im watching VH1 classics. theyve given me u2 fishbone alphaville and now the smashing pumkins cherub rock. is this song really old enough to be a vh1 classic? if so, why is everything making me feel a gazillion years old.

    this song reminds me of a little situation i had when this album oh wait its not this song. ok, never mind.

    my arms have been killing me. arms and hands. i work far too long. no days off all summer. day and night work. always looking, always searching. always tweaking things. i know it might not look like it but its not easy, i’ll tell you that. and to write that Times thing in the middle of it was pretty weird especially since my hands were killing me that day.

    i eat this arthritus medicine that karisa recommended. and i use icy hot. theres a 99cent store version of icy hot called Crysta Ice.

    a special lady came over today after i accomplished my second check off and i started kissing her and i said lets see if we can make out for a half hour but i cant move my hands and arms.

    it was fun for a while until she got bored and gave me a little dance show on my persian rug. if that rug wasnt fithy before it is now is all ive gotta say.

    speaking of big brother, omg i cant believe how chilltown has totally played reverse psychology on this shit and are about to run the table.

    one of the guys in this reality show, people who dont know, has been telling the other contestants to vote him out but they refuse to pay attention to him. its classic.

    yes i have no idea how i get any girl to even take off their anything in my presence. but whatever. speaking of big brother, today i wrote one of my former Nexus cohorts who is a Sr. VP of programming at cbs to ask him who i should write to get a nice litte BB set visit and the email totally bounced back.

    that was one of my white board to-do’s: write cbs.

    um they are totally playing the same fishbone song that they totally just played totally 45 minutes ago. TAKE THE TAPES OUT AFTER THEYVE PLAYED STONERS!

    i totally worked at a record store when this record came out. the girls knew of the band totally before the record came out and they put Fishbone is Red Hot on the Licorice Pizza marquis.

    id like to have a son named marquis.

    his middle name would be d’

    i dont know any kid whose middle name is d’

    something cool might happen friday afternoon

    steven + shabooty + kali + xTx

  4. Tuesday, August 29, 2006
  5. Since you are taking questions 

    and I saw that you just neatly broke down the whole season of BB All Stars I ask you this. Do you listen to Bubba The Love Sponge at all on H101? If not, why? – 4rilla

    as you know im a huge Howard fan. im a subscriber, ive got the hookup to get the shows on my ipod, im so sick that at 3am (as in 15 minutes from now) i reach over to my nightstand and turn on the laptop and i listen to it live through the Sirius stream.

    when howard said that he was signing up Bubba i had zero interest. why would i want to tune into a fat nascar redneck when i faithfully listen to 4.5 hours of a freakishly tall micro-penised halfjew?

    but since howard is spending my money on vacation all summer banging that supermodel of his ive been forced to tune into the 101, and even though i cant say that ive listened for more than a half hour at one sitting, i must say that i do like bubba, i do think he’s talented, i appreciate that he keeps it real by owning his southern roots, and i like that everything is a jones or a mcgillicutty. its funny.

    i also like bubba because it shows you how good howard is and what an excellent formula theyve got going there. howard’s parody songs make bubba’s seem like the secondrate knockoffs that they are. the way bubba treats the strippers and porn stars that come in is funny but howard takes it to the next level intellectually, if you can believe it.

    i do appreciate bubba’s shocking of the puss and the shocking of the nuts and all that but for some reason the only time i want to hear someone in pain is when its someone who you care about, which is why when Richard got waxed it was so good because we all love Richard.

    when i was in chicago i grew up on the original howard, steve dahl, which howard can pretend meant nothing to his early development, but those of us who are 113 yrs old remember how lame radio was back in those days. and if you listen to steve and gary meier in chicago when howard was just starting out you will see a great deal of similarities which may or may not have anything to do with the fact that dahl was in Detroit a year before Howard got there. arguing with his wife on the air, talking about his personal life, and yelling at his boss with the mic open was what got Dahl out of Detroit… which is exactly how Howard got from Detroit to DC where he became #1.

    bubba unfortunately will never get out of Howard’s shadow as long as howard is still on the air. dahl and stern were able to blossom on their own since one was in the midwest and the other was on the east coast. for both bubba and howard to basically be on the same station will only help bubba a little, for a temporary period of time. and during that time his similarities to howard will stand out like that big fucking gut he has.

    in order for him to break out he’s got to find something that howard cannot do. banging the fans is a good start, but he’s gotta think bigger than that.

    scotty ferrall however is a freaking genius and the best part of Howard 101.

    i met alecia this weekend. so hot.

  6. Monday, August 28, 2006

    how to leave a comment 

    almost two years ago

    i laid it out and aint a damn thing changed 1. kiss my ass.

    2. if you cant kiss my ass, ask a question.

    3. if you cant do either of those, have the guts courtesy of filling in the email address or home page portion of the comment box. everyone agrees that anonymous negative commentors are pussy ass bitches whose opinons are not even worth the milisecond that it will take to delete them.

    if you have the nerve to come into someone elses house and talk shit, have the backbone to identify yourself. i wouldnt accept a check without your signature, so fuck your pissy comment without a real email address.

    and that goes for you democrats too.

    4. but people say oh but i will get spam oh i will get spam.

    a. only fools put their primary email address on the internet.
    b. when they ask you your email address type it out like this busblog@g[mail].com
    c. create an email account for spam, look i just made one on Yahoo

    busblog@yahoo.com busblog@yahoo.com busblog@yahoo.com busblog@yahoo.com busblog@yahoo.com busblog@yahoo.com busblog@yahoo.com busblog@yahoo.com

    im runnin with scissors im runnin with scissors

    busblog@yahoo.com busblog@yahoo.com busblog@yahoo.com busblog@yahoo.com busblog@yahoo.com busblog@yahoo.com busblog@yahoo.com busblog@yahoo.com

    d. notice that the world didnt end.

    e. a sincere commentor should want the reader to know that theyre serious about their rebuttal. the simplist way one could discount a negative comment is to say, that person was certainly kidding as they didnt even leave their name.

    f. only cowards hide and snipe from the shadows, the only thing more pathetic and hopeless is someone who does it on a fucking blog on the internet.

    5. politely alert me of a correction that should be made. if a hyperlink is available, please use it.

    6. if you have nothing useful to say, be funny. be the guy who pops in with a little joke and then pops out real quick.

    but you better be funny.

    7. if youre busy at work, inarticulate, or flying a helicopter above the dreary clouds of hollywoodland, keep it short and/or use these:

    a. right on
    b. fuck yeah
    c. omg for sure!
    d. you know, bush does suck!
    e. please accept this generous tip
    f. bullshit

    id much rather accept some ignorant ass with a real email address simply calling out bullshit than boring me with these fat generic lies of “you’ve crossed the line now pierce im never coming back here again! humph!”

    just call bullshit and go back to watching your stories grampa. your votes been counted.

    8. a polite, lean, direct rebutal resonates much louder than a clumsy wandering stale belch. say exactly what you disagree with, offer an alternative, provide examples.

    or, call bullshit while leaving your fucking earthshattering blog’s address.

    9. do this everywhere you go

    10. realize good or bad i still probably wont give a shit what you say. the good feelings of good comments rarely last and the annoyed feelings of bad comments are even more fleeting. so just kiss my ass and move on.

    katfran + adriel + coop

  7. Saturday, August 26, 2006
  8. somebody is in today’s LA Times 

    Opinion

    Why a Racial “Survivor” Is a Good Thing
    Reality show gimmick will force conversation and maybe show that skin color doesn’t matter.

    By Tony Pierce,
    TONY PIERCE is the editor of LAist.com
    August 26, 2006

    WHO KNEW A stupid game show could launch a race war?

    That’s what nervous pundits and politicians from coast to coast are saying about the decision by the reality hit “Survivor” to divide this fall season’s 20 contestants into four competing groups (or “tribes”) — whites, blacks, Latinos and Asians.

    “This could get ugly,” warned a San Diego Union-Tribune columnist. New York City Council members said they’d launch a boycott. One Arkansas paper ran the headline: “Race wars are coming to a TV near you.”

    First, unless four white cops get caught on videotape billy-clubbing a black man, and then all get let off the hook, television has little or no power to inspire racial violence. Second, Americans don’t rise up for anything nowadays, or else people would be rioting over unleaded being $3 a gallon and the president continuing a war most of us oppose. And third, dividing “Survivor” into ethnic tribes is more likely to keep people off the streets and in their homes watching TV, where they ought to be.

    read the rest here

    [Update: Survivor.com agrees with me. imagine that:] “I always disagree with the LA Times, but this is actually the voice of reason. Maybe this whole “race” thing might actually be a good idea and people will actually work together! What a concept…”

  9. Friday, August 25, 2006

    Oh..! Write about how fantastic, 

    cute and smart I am. I need to hear it every day.
    Tony Pierce

    baby if i was cute i wouldnt need to blog.

    ok lets pay attention to the nay sayers in the busblog and elsewhere because they sure want a little attention. its almost as if all the people who were super into the busblog got jealous that i was spending so much time at LAist.

    thats sweet but bros, im not that fantastic or smart or else i would have figured out immediatly how to keep up a personal blog with two good posts a day and a professional one where i write six posts a day and am responsible for 9-10 more. without a day off.

    for yr ass.

    but its ok. i know not everyone is on the same page. so for the record here are my priorities: 1) my job, 2) everything else. pardon me if i would like to hang on to this sweet opportunity of getting to roam around LA, get invited to sweet shit, meet interesting people, blog about it, and get paid for it.

    unlike what my wouldbe critics would say, any time i talk about anything good that happens in my life i always say it was due to luck or God or good friends or booze or the myth that is the busblog. i almost always say i dont deserve it and if i dont, know its implied. i say on here that nothing in here is true primarily to make those sad boys out there in the world not get so jealous when they see a dimwit like me is getting some and theyre not.

    trust me when i say that anything thats come my way happened in spite of my actions. i am the superstar of self-defeat and self-terrorism.

    last night was no different. here i had been knocking out a half dozen stories a day for eight weeks and i [undeservedly] got a [lucky] email from [a friend] at the LA Times saying write something and have it done by 6am and you probably wont get it put in the Times but you may. instantly i jumped away from my computer and did EVERYTHING other than bang away at the typer. i cleaned my house for the first time in months, i showered for the first time in days, i cooked, i organized, i watched tivo, ANYTHING other than write for my local paper. an idea that once upon a time was merely a silly daydream.

    eventually at 1am after i tricked myself into spending two minutes to write one sentence and i saw that i was almost done. crap, back to cleaning.

    i bring this up because it was an interesting excersize that the How To Blog rules totally helped me with. i totally believe that procrastination happens when you listen to the devil in your head say “you cant do this, youre no good, you suck, any time you wrote well you just got lucky, youre going to get torn to peices, this is gonna get you fired, this is gonna get your house burnt down, this is gonna get you killed” etc. the machinegun fire of negativity is nonstop, so theres no wonder so many people quit their blogs after a short period of time.

    so last night i just said to those demons, yes its all true, i suck, i dont belong here, im a creep, but im going to write one sentence real quick and then you can go on with the nay saying as i dust waaaaaaay over here far away from my laptop that was given to me by a fan. and then i wrote that sentence. then a few minutes later i was all, yeah i know i cant write worth shit and my hits are dropping off so im going to rearange my walk in closet filled with random belongings of hot babes who have ended up in my walk in closet… but only after i knock out one simple paragraph of three sentences.

    and for kicks i will write down all the things that would drive all the demons in my head crazy. sentences that suck. just for fun. just to see how they look there.

    it cracks me up when kids with 29 hits a day try to take potshots at me in their dusty blogs as if they have anything original to discover to berate me with when the demons have been sitting in the front row since day one. ok, day two. day one was a perfect day.

    but back to your question, anonymous negative commentor who chose to hide behind my good name. do i need to be told that im smart and funny and cute every day? no. i dont need that. it wouldnt work anyhow because the demons have a pretty good way of discounting anything good that people say. what i do need to hear is that young ladies would get naked with me. somehow the demons havent figured out a defense for that one yet, which is why i cherish the nudes that you ladies have been sending in for years.

    if the fellas want to be jealous of me, it shouldnt be because of my alleged lifestyle or great friends or fancy car or amazing job or world famous blog, you should be jealous of my in box.

    today is elvis costellos birthday.

    lindsay + jessica + erin