Oh..! Write about how fantastic,

cute and smart I am. I need to hear it every day.
Tony Pierce

baby if i was cute i wouldnt need to blog.

ok lets pay attention to the nay sayers in the busblog and elsewhere because they sure want a little attention. its almost as if all the people who were super into the busblog got jealous that i was spending so much time at LAist.

thats sweet but bros, im not that fantastic or smart or else i would have figured out immediatly how to keep up a personal blog with two good posts a day and a professional one where i write six posts a day and am responsible for 9-10 more. without a day off.

for yr ass.

but its ok. i know not everyone is on the same page. so for the record here are my priorities: 1) my job, 2) everything else. pardon me if i would like to hang on to this sweet opportunity of getting to roam around LA, get invited to sweet shit, meet interesting people, blog about it, and get paid for it.

unlike what my wouldbe critics would say, any time i talk about anything good that happens in my life i always say it was due to luck or God or good friends or booze or the myth that is the busblog. i almost always say i dont deserve it and if i dont, know its implied. i say on here that nothing in here is true primarily to make those sad boys out there in the world not get so jealous when they see a dimwit like me is getting some and theyre not.

trust me when i say that anything thats come my way happened in spite of my actions. i am the superstar of self-defeat and self-terrorism.

last night was no different. here i had been knocking out a half dozen stories a day for eight weeks and i [undeservedly] got a [lucky] email from [a friend] at the LA Times saying write something and have it done by 6am and you probably wont get it put in the Times but you may. instantly i jumped away from my computer and did EVERYTHING other than bang away at the typer. i cleaned my house for the first time in months, i showered for the first time in days, i cooked, i organized, i watched tivo, ANYTHING other than write for my local paper. an idea that once upon a time was merely a silly daydream.

eventually at 1am after i tricked myself into spending two minutes to write one sentence and i saw that i was almost done. crap, back to cleaning.

i bring this up because it was an interesting excersize that the How To Blog rules totally helped me with. i totally believe that procrastination happens when you listen to the devil in your head say “you cant do this, youre no good, you suck, any time you wrote well you just got lucky, youre going to get torn to peices, this is gonna get you fired, this is gonna get your house burnt down, this is gonna get you killed” etc. the machinegun fire of negativity is nonstop, so theres no wonder so many people quit their blogs after a short period of time.

so last night i just said to those demons, yes its all true, i suck, i dont belong here, im a creep, but im going to write one sentence real quick and then you can go on with the nay saying as i dust waaaaaaay over here far away from my laptop that was given to me by a fan. and then i wrote that sentence. then a few minutes later i was all, yeah i know i cant write worth shit and my hits are dropping off so im going to rearange my walk in closet filled with random belongings of hot babes who have ended up in my walk in closet… but only after i knock out one simple paragraph of three sentences.

and for kicks i will write down all the things that would drive all the demons in my head crazy. sentences that suck. just for fun. just to see how they look there.

it cracks me up when kids with 29 hits a day try to take potshots at me in their dusty blogs as if they have anything original to discover to berate me with when the demons have been sitting in the front row since day one. ok, day two. day one was a perfect day.

but back to your question, anonymous negative commentor who chose to hide behind my good name. do i need to be told that im smart and funny and cute every day? no. i dont need that. it wouldnt work anyhow because the demons have a pretty good way of discounting anything good that people say. what i do need to hear is that young ladies would get naked with me. somehow the demons havent figured out a defense for that one yet, which is why i cherish the nudes that you ladies have been sending in for years.

if the fellas want to be jealous of me, it shouldnt be because of my alleged lifestyle or great friends or fancy car or amazing job or world famous blog, you should be jealous of my in box.

today is elvis costellos birthday.

lindsay + jessica + erin

write about the bizarre deteriorating of Bush’s speech ability.

Im not just trying to kick the guy, something really seems wrong and Id love to speak to his doctor and hear the truth.

ive seen the videos that show W as a Governor with apparently no problems talking. and of course ive seen all the bushisms over the last six years. the explaination is simple – he’s not saying what he really feels any more. nor should he.

if you were the President’s handlers right now why would you let him go off script? when he thinks for himself he either makes up words like Internets or his sits there like he did on 9/11.

thinking is what the other people in the room who went to Yale are supposed to do. not the guy who partied there every night.

if i had to remember the republican talking points i would be stumbling and blinking and stuttering and fumbling too. thats a complicated playbook of bullshit that youve gotta learn. just imagine the dozens of different ways to defeat that death star? iraq, 9/11, oil, plame, katrina, domestic spying, signing statements, the small detail about that gay male hooker who was snuck into the press corps for a year, the other small detail about rewriting scientist’s studys proving global warming is happening and must be dealt with in ten years

this whole administration is one teetering jenga game waiting to be overwith. bush is no reagan. hes no trained actor. and hes not slick like willie. when things are fucked up its written all over that goofy face, its heard in his inflections when he accomplishes the obstacle course that every sentence is for him.

its almost as if he’s waiting for that inevitable moment where the entire press corps stands up in unison and collectively calls bullshit on everythng.

bush should just chill out and realize that thats never going to happen, and go back to imagining everyone actually buying his malarkey. theyve gone past wanting to believe that his lies were true into resigning themselves into knowing that their president is a horrible liar full of terrible secrets and if he just wanted to go to the hospital for a few months because of a tragic “throat infection” caused my some tainted shellfish i doubt anyone would miss him.

the mistake was in hiring tony snow who seems to be just as bad as pretending that what hes saying is true because right now what the GOP need most is someone who can shovel that shit like no one else.

Write about gentrification.

Photo Hosted at Buzznet The LA Weekly sez it’s terrible, and ripping our neighborhood apart. Is that true?
Matt Welch

last i checked discrimination wasnt kosher. even against whitey.

but i also dont hear the minorites complaining too much, its usually the fair skinned granola eaters who have already moved in who are fretting about what happens if that pattern is repeated. such guilt. just look at that word, gentrification, thats the whitest word ive heard all day. scientific, polite, sterile, vague, emotionless – when in fact its definition, if accurate is clear and full of emotion.

as if whitey could fuck things up that bad.

the most normal thing in the world is for one group to move into a part of town and then move out as another one moves in. those mini mansions in korea town werent built by koreans you know. noah finz.

am i disappointed that venice turned into a santa monica jr.? of course. but people should be allowed to move whereever they want and build whatever they want while theyre there. the only thing they shouldnt be allowed to do is tear down cool places without a vote of the people. cbgbs got gentrified. that shouldnt happen. its retarded.

bob burns got gentrified. that shouldnta happened either.

what people should probably do is take it easy on the four kids business. a couple kids is fine. adopting, i hate to agree with brangelina, but that seems like the best idea of them all. its so crazy i love people so much but ive always hated the idea of overcrowding, of the earth doubling in population ever so many years. i dont need anyone who looks like me. maybe we have a responsibility to take care of some kids but i dont think they necessarily have to carry your genetic code. as if any of that shit mattered anyways.

chavez ravine was gentrified. downtown is becoming gentrified. and with that comes things that might be worth it.

the cruelty and tragedy that made way for dodger stadium was horrible, but if dodger stadium was any different you never would have had that shot of the tail lights in the parking lot of cars leaving as kirk gibson hit one of the greatest home runs of all time.

not everything that whitey does is all bad, matt.

jimh + phil + bicycle mark + science blog