1. Friday, August 25, 2006

    Oh..! Write about how fantastic, 

    cute and smart I am. I need to hear it every day.
    Tony Pierce

    baby if i was cute i wouldnt need to blog.

    ok lets pay attention to the nay sayers in the busblog and elsewhere because they sure want a little attention. its almost as if all the people who were super into the busblog got jealous that i was spending so much time at LAist.

    thats sweet but bros, im not that fantastic or smart or else i would have figured out immediatly how to keep up a personal blog with two good posts a day and a professional one where i write six posts a day and am responsible for 9-10 more. without a day off.

    for yr ass.

    but its ok. i know not everyone is on the same page. so for the record here are my priorities: 1) my job, 2) everything else. pardon me if i would like to hang on to this sweet opportunity of getting to roam around LA, get invited to sweet shit, meet interesting people, blog about it, and get paid for it.

    unlike what my wouldbe critics would say, any time i talk about anything good that happens in my life i always say it was due to luck or God or good friends or booze or the myth that is the busblog. i almost always say i dont deserve it and if i dont, know its implied. i say on here that nothing in here is true primarily to make those sad boys out there in the world not get so jealous when they see a dimwit like me is getting some and theyre not.

    trust me when i say that anything thats come my way happened in spite of my actions. i am the superstar of self-defeat and self-terrorism.

    last night was no different. here i had been knocking out a half dozen stories a day for eight weeks and i [undeservedly] got a [lucky] email from [a friend] at the LA Times saying write something and have it done by 6am and you probably wont get it put in the Times but you may. instantly i jumped away from my computer and did EVERYTHING other than bang away at the typer. i cleaned my house for the first time in months, i showered for the first time in days, i cooked, i organized, i watched tivo, ANYTHING other than write for my local paper. an idea that once upon a time was merely a silly daydream.

    eventually at 1am after i tricked myself into spending two minutes to write one sentence and i saw that i was almost done. crap, back to cleaning.

    i bring this up because it was an interesting excersize that the How To Blog rules totally helped me with. i totally believe that procrastination happens when you listen to the devil in your head say “you cant do this, youre no good, you suck, any time you wrote well you just got lucky, youre going to get torn to peices, this is gonna get you fired, this is gonna get your house burnt down, this is gonna get you killed” etc. the machinegun fire of negativity is nonstop, so theres no wonder so many people quit their blogs after a short period of time.

    so last night i just said to those demons, yes its all true, i suck, i dont belong here, im a creep, but im going to write one sentence real quick and then you can go on with the nay saying as i dust waaaaaaay over here far away from my laptop that was given to me by a fan. and then i wrote that sentence. then a few minutes later i was all, yeah i know i cant write worth shit and my hits are dropping off so im going to rearange my walk in closet filled with random belongings of hot babes who have ended up in my walk in closet… but only after i knock out one simple paragraph of three sentences.

    and for kicks i will write down all the things that would drive all the demons in my head crazy. sentences that suck. just for fun. just to see how they look there.

    it cracks me up when kids with 29 hits a day try to take potshots at me in their dusty blogs as if they have anything original to discover to berate me with when the demons have been sitting in the front row since day one. ok, day two. day one was a perfect day.

    but back to your question, anonymous negative commentor who chose to hide behind my good name. do i need to be told that im smart and funny and cute every day? no. i dont need that. it wouldnt work anyhow because the demons have a pretty good way of discounting anything good that people say. what i do need to hear is that young ladies would get naked with me. somehow the demons havent figured out a defense for that one yet, which is why i cherish the nudes that you ladies have been sending in for years.

    if the fellas want to be jealous of me, it shouldnt be because of my alleged lifestyle or great friends or fancy car or amazing job or world famous blog, you should be jealous of my in box.

    today is elvis costellos birthday.

    lindsay + jessica + erin