day 24, washington dc

most people dont know that i have a brother. i do. hes xbi, but more specifically east coast xbi, which is why i keep it on the dippty down low.

dc is a freaky place because everyone is army navy secret service pentagon fbi cia and of course xbi. if you know how to read license plates your mind will blow when you get around the beltway and the reason i had to take yesterday off from writing is centered around that so lets just move on to another subject.

most people dont know that real close to the white house is dc’s chinatown. shit i cant really talk about that either so…

the thing i liked the best about this trip back to my birthplace was it was hot. it was 90 degrees friends. i wanted to see thomas jefferson’s memorial because there are a lot of overlooked memorials and his is probably the most overlooked because its just him standing up in a big ass dome.

i also like his memorial because he was really the only president that not only owned slaves but regularily got it on with them while writing about how every man should be free in america. the hypocracy and paradox is still evident today in the US and i just wanted to pop in his monument to get some sweet vibes from that energy.

but before i went in i noticed that my balls were sweating like a bitch because it was not just hot but also humid due to the oncoming storm that was a day away. so i pulled into an abandonded parking lot that would have been filled if it was the summer and i took off my pants in my car and underwear and put on a fresh pair of boxers and my shorts.

of course right at that moment a metra subway line comes roaring out of nowhere and everyone on the train got to see my better half. i sorta laughed for a sec when another train going the other direction flew out of a tunnel.

i put my shorts on and drove out of there in fear that i would be busted for exposing myself to the world.

after i met my bro at his current stakeout we had dinner and drinks and caught up a little and then i hit the road south by southwest on my way back home. after all this time heading east today i turned the corner.

as always i got a little drowsy right when i started driving, which made sense after a dinner of crab cakes and a tall glass of beer, but a giant coke and a small order of mcdonalds fries picked me up again and i was good. i drove all the way to right outside roanoke virginia where i am now for the night.

its 444am, im bummed i missed Lost but stoked that ABC will have it online tomorrow night when i hope to be close to memphis TN. at $50 a night i would stay here an extra day just to write and work but theres bugs crawling all over the walls – not a lot – just three, and the woods are scary, and they dont have a hot tub.

and even though clipper girl called me today from a victoria secrets asking me what color thigh highs id like to see her in on my return, purple, i wouldnt mind being on the road for about fifteen more months.