1. Monday, January 15, 2007

    yes that was a terrific game. 

    no i cant believe how it went down. no i cant believe that they really won. no i cant believe that seattle fucked up every time that we needed them to fuck up and no i cant believe how non shitty sexy rexy played.

    i was a tad distracted because there was a foreigner in the house who came to LA to see america for the first time and i didnt really want to have to deal with her and play tourguide but i also didnt want to give the bears bad luck.

    in fact i was so serious about being a good person and having my shit together that i overworked to make sure that everything was finished that needed to be finished, every conversation, every everything was done so that when it became gametime i could focus up and there was no unmade beds so to speak.

    i knew she was going to come during the playoffs but what was i supposed to do. there are no good times to come here. everything is happening at all times.

    heres where the problems come in. time and honesty.

    if someone comes here to hook up with you, lets say, and theyre only going to be here for a few days, a long weekend, perhaps, then they better tell you what they want like on thursday night.

    try not to reach your hand down a mans dark side of the moon pajama bottoms when the game is about to go into overtime.

    perhaps theres no overtime in australia but theres overtime in the playoffs and its sudden death which im sure is what the look i gave her could have been named.

    maybe age has a tiny bit to do with it because teenage girls as hot as some of these are, have never been turned down in their lives. even at 100 years old, a man still believes that hes got a few more decades of boning left in him. time is not of the essence. oh shit they loss the coin toss.

    i dont know where these people shop. i dont know where these clothes come from because they fit so tightly that sometimes they look like they were custom made for the most perfect girlshapes youve ever seen.

    do some people have like tailors? is that what theyre for?

    i was all, see the corner of the rug over there? stand on that corner for i swear five minutes. i promise you that in five minutes i will attack whatevers on that corner of carpet but baby weve gotta focus up and shit in this piece.

    some people take direction very well.

    i have yet to meet those people.

    i hit pause on the tivo.

    we talked honestly. i honestly told her that tivo is of no good because people are going to call me if anything crazy happens and they will tell me via the answering machine before i can see it.

    so she walked over to the answering machine and unplugged the power cord.

    i said i will be text messaged.

    she walked over to my phone and turned it off.

    i said the neighbors will scream and i will know.

    so she went over to the stereo and turned it up and took off her pajamas.

    cubs win.