tonight our mayor is going to march in a protest against his own cops

the other day a satellite radio network suspended two alleged shock jocks for being too crazy on uncensored radio.

gasoline is approaching $4 a gallon while theres a president in office whose family made their fortune in oil and yet their arent any torches outside the gates

and yet my life is stranger than all of that.


lunch with a girl named Rim.

had a sidekick that kept bleeping. ba-leep. ba-leep.

i was all baby im going to put my hand on your knee

and each time that fucking thing goes off my hand is going to go up your leg.


she said if i turn it off it will look like i am offline.

ba-leep ba-leep.

huge fake tits, makeup on flawless twentynothing skin, and perfume that smelled


i was all what happens if it looks like youre offline

she said they will think someone is killing me.


long legs.

i said why dont you just put up an away message


she said i have it up, those are messages people are leaving me


i said in about two minutes youre gonna have to change that message, whatever it is.

you have to be careful making out with strange girls

because overnight they think they can question everything about you and put you in a box.

tony pierce iii is not someone who can easily be put in a box.

at least not any normal type of fucking box.

because of this beard and mustache i have attained a very odd habit of seeing how much of it i can lick. as if i was a cat.

because im no gene simmons i cant really lick that much, but my tounge doesnt know that. its been stuck inside my mouth for 100 years. suddenly its got all this weirdly textured hair thats stiff by the corners of the mouth and soft under the nose.

this morning i woke up and i thought i had a sore throat but no i had pulled a muscle in my tongue! i know this because this afternoon chickie came over and wanted to make out and i was all lets just hold hands and watch movies.

she was like do you have a cold sore or something and i was all nope.

then because im mr honesty i told her the problem but she didnt believe me.

now if theres one thing that homey dont play its the i dont trust tony game.

everyone loses that game because out comes the 9 iron then the softball bat then the bible.

things are broken, feelings are hurt, things are said that someone regrets but not me because bitch its only been one day who the fuck could i have gotten ass from in one fucking day? im a blogger not an heiress.

she was all how can you expect me to trust a guy i dont even know. and was all not my problem, until i fuck you over you better start trusting me or you will never see the glory that is this this totally filthy living room again.

and she left.