1. Monday, May 14, 2007

    for some reason zancau chicken was packed 

    last night and i couldnt figure out why until i got home and saw a young lady with a grocery bag with a bagguette sticking out of it knocking on my door. apparently i forgot my sopranos date. and this girl was very mad.

    unfortunately for her i was given a gift of a shoebox lined with some of the stickiest sweetest humbolt stuff that makes you really mellow as in falling asleep mellow.

    so when she wanted to clomp on my hard wood floors to accentuate how upset she was all i could see were firm calves and a skirt moving and colors.

    what baby i asked.

    AND DONT CALL ME BABY.

    did she have any idea who she was going to be spending at least one hour of her life with?

    i apologized and told her that id gladly mail a tape to her in the morning if she wanted to see it later and she said no no and i said then youre going to have to chill it down like 5 notches. and then see if it will go down two more because im a really old man and i used to tolerate pouty girls in my mispent youth but that shits not as cute nowadays

    and i loaded the bong for her and she inhaled and held it and held it and coughed like crazy while exhaling and i swear to you people, before there was one less soprano our girl was passed the fuck out.

    now heres the difference between black guys and white guys. a white guy will just keep his hand on a girl’s thigh when he realizes that shes passed out. but a black guy will check himself by removing his hand, scootching over a tad on the couch, and blowing a dog whistle just incase the ho was bugged.

    its 434am and your girl is still on my couch, cia or fbi or whoever you are. i knew she was too cute to be for real, and i knew there was a reason she was sooooo upset when i was late. because she didnt want to be seen in my neighborhood. since shes 5-0 trying to pretend to be undercover.

    did i like tonights sopranos. yes. it was an unusual way to kill off a major character, and somewhat forced, if you ask me. but i always like it when tony has sex with hookers and last nights was an interesting one.

    but, as danielle says, malfi and tonys wife always steal the show and they did again last night.

    afterwards i watched entourage as the fuzz snored on my couch.

    i smoked bowls as i watched the de la hoya fight and i gotta say, i think oscar got robbed.

    and then i read the bible cuz it was sunday.

    and now im writing you because im gonna sleep till noon.

    i also dont go into grocery stores with anything in my hands or pockets cuz i dont want people to think i stole anything.