1. Tuesday, May 22, 2007

    i know sk reads zulieka 

    Zulieka so maybe she will come out of the wordwork and update her blog now that z has graced her blog with a portrait.

    kansas do you realize there are milfs like her in your midst? actually ive heard some very nice things about kansas but mostly about its bbq and women do know where to find good food so it wouldnt surprise me if the rumors were true.

    today i was trying to find some books to send to africa. xxx, mostly.

    chris requested some anais nin but i dont know how you properly pronounce her first name and just like for record stores i get political when i choose where i will buy my books.

    i believe that life would be better with a lot of small record stores and book stores and less gigantor ones and deep discounts at soulless places like best buy and wal*mart.

    if i was president i would run under the Class platform – “no it might not be 100% constitutional, but its classy.”

    therefore i would ban cd sales and book sales in any building larger than a small one bedroom apartment. stores would be forced to specialize. experts would crop up. people would end up with a wider variety of styles to enjoy. life would be classier.

    and then when no one was looking i would sneak in a law that said theres no such thing as nudity being against the law.

    so i first went to the fancy independent book store in los feliz, the one next to the movie theatre, but they didnt have anything by her far as i could tell and i was too embarrassed to ask the people who worked there because i didnt want them to think know i was a perv reading anais nin (“sure it’s a gift for your friend in africa. my friend on pluto thinks youre a lying sack of doo.”) and 2. i didnt want them to know that i didnt know how to pronounce her name. it was very quiet at the time in the book store yet eerily packed for no. good. reason.

    so i went to the super independent used bookstore on hollywood blvd a block away from wacko. and there was a black woman sitting on a chair reading the newspaper. and i looked around and there didnt seem to be any order to anything and i found a little book of stories by eudora welty that i suddenly had to have and i asked the woman where i could find some anais nin and she said who and i said uh-nay-issss nin.

    and she said one minute, and she walked outside and went next door and a minute later a black dude came limping in and he didnt know who the hell i was talking about either and he walked me to a few shelves and he said heres where the biographies are and limped back out to where something was more interesting.

    and i looked and looked and paid the lady who gave me no bag or receipt because im green and i went to wacko and couldnt find it and there it was on amazon marketplace which is probably Barnes n Noble in disguise but what can you do

    ring ring my home phone said which is funny because i thought i had turned off its ringer.


    a womans voice said did you watch entourage? my voice said yes. her voice said if you were vincent would you bang the woman who just helped fund your dream movie. i said uh. she said, her husband is telling you to fuck her. would you? they just gave you $60 million dollars.

    and i said because theres no way that the Lord would think that someone would seriously pay 60 million dollars for one session of sexual activity then it cannot be considered prostitution, therefore it doesnt go against the bible other than adultry but the husband is almost demanding it and he is sorta your boss and its hbo so yeah id do it.

    and she screamed WRONG ANSWER and hung up.