1. Friday, June 8, 2007

    before blogging 

    before the web, before i ever went to canada, i wrote poems.

    poems got me through college, they got me published first, they got me laid first.

    and for some reason ive given up on them in the same way ive given up personal blogging.

    probably because i dont want girls to get topless for me because of my poems or blogging any more.

    i want them to get topless because theyre incredibly horny

    and will settle for anyone.

    yes, i want to be their rock bottom.

    the other day i was talking to someone about the mendoza line. im sure wikipedia knows the dude’s first name, but there was a baseball player who was Just good enough to make the pros. if you were worse than him youd get dropped to the minors. if you played better than him you could stay in the bigs. his name was mendoza.

    i want to be the dude that the super hot chick in free fall comes stumbling home some morning and says, i fucked the hell outta tony pierce.

    and their super model roommate goes NO!

    and she starts crying.

    and they silently drive to rehab

    holding hands.

    there was a time when i was so depressed after having moved away from isla vista that all i could do was write sad poems and title them whatever i was listening to on the boom box at that moment.

    one of my favorites was called acdc let there be rock