1. Tuesday, July 17, 2007

    do you know i love you? i do 

    she was waiting in her car outside my house texting her friends and she honked when i got near my house. fuck i had a date!

    i know im a stoner, i told her, while she tried to get an explanation out of me, but sometimes i forget.

    the former laist editor carolyn kellogg and i went to the backstage cafe tonight and i had totally forgotten that i told this one chick to come over if she wanted but who thought she wanted. so i forgot about it and it had nothing to do with this amazing weed that happened to make me dance way more than usual

    and say the sweetest things to girls on the internet message system.

    the backstage cafe is in beverly hills california 9433 Brighton Way and it was formerly owned by police drummer stuart copelands brother ian. not miles who managed the police and later sting, but the less famous brother ian who was an agent for a lot of those IRS bands, and sadly he recently died.

    and who has an amazingly nice bar in beverly hills where on tuesday nights you can hear 60s 70s and even todays stars jamming with long time host Punkin Pie, most recently known for testifying at the phil spector trial.

    totally drank totally had a great time talking with carolyn and the two bartenders totally forgot for a little while that i had a life, responsibilities, and a tad more mojo than i gave myself credit for

    because there she was yelling at me and i was trying to figure out, does she like yelling or is she trying to steak some claim

    and i waited for my chance to say sorry but it didnt happen

    so i slowly walked backwards through the apartment

    first through the living room and she didnt notice

    then through the kitchen and she didnt notice she just yelled and looked around and yelled that the place was a mess

    why are all these boxer shorts on the floor?

    i beat off in em.

    WHAT?

    but i kept walking backwards and eventually we were in my bedroom and i walked into my walk in closet and she said what are you doing in there? and i said i really need to change into my pajamas

    PAJAMAS? YOURE NOT TAKING ME OUT?

    and i poked my head out of the closet and i asked you still wanna go out?

    and she looked at her feet and back at me and said fool look how im dressed!

    and she did look pretty dressed up.

    and i put on my pajama bottoms, came out of the closet, turned off the big light and plugged in the christmas lights.

    crawled into bed

    and said if youre gonna yell at me the new rule is you have to be topless
    but if youre gonna go then the new rule is you have to slam the door really hard when you leave, so hard the aruba liscense plate falls from above the door.

    and i slipped on my sleeping mask and i

    SLAM

    said my prayers

    and i was out.

    buttheniwokeuptowritethis