some said that the lack of the shot

had nothing to do with the bell jar

but they lied. so many lie. so many lie to me.
and trust is everything in my life and
my friends and my xbi partners should know
that when my trust for them wavers
either you should send an sos to the world
or you should reassure me.

anna kournikova came over last night in a dream.
she said
all ur bases belong to us.
she said
do not want
she said
trust not want not

she said when you wake you will feel better than youve felt
for two weeks.
she said when you wake your arm will hurt you where the xbi shot you
and your ass will hurt because im freaky

when i woke i did indeed feel better than ive felt in weeks
that nauseous feeling was gone
but maybe it was cuz i was waking alone
and i hadnt eaten any drugs the night before
and dranken
or hated

however all signs pointed to the second hep shot which wasnt supposed to be related
to the hate and anger and craziness
but suddenly all was well

and member how i told you the other day,
that each morning around noon i wake
and go to my front door
open it and take in the california sun
well this morning, i did the same thing, and i looked on my front porch
and right in the middle of it where the dogs usually lay giant turds
someone or something had laid
dozens of hot delicious cookies
and a carton of milk in a bucket of ice.
and cups.
with a nice note
to me.

just like how the devil
has disappeared from my bachelor pad.

the entire thing was done via esp

free chorizowhat are you doing here agent?

im trying to get a followup on my immunization shot.

you know very well that that will kill you.

i dont know anything.

agent, when you volunteered for the agency you agreed not to visit any physicians except for ours.


so what are you doing here?

these people arent doctors, its just a hep injection.

sir, this is a free clinic. there are doctors everywhere. further, you have allowed them to inject something into you AT A STREET FAIR that you knew would react poorly with the chemicals that are in your bloodstream.

i dont know anything.

she took my blood pressure, drew a blood sample and had me pee in a cup. i stared at a scale for 10 minutes and spaced out. the only thing id been doing other than being on full on rage mode all week.

agent your blood pressure is high your blood says your stoned RIGHT NOW and your urine is almost completely clear. have you eaten anything at all for the last day?

nothing stays down.

because you know you shouldnt have poisoned yourself.

so its ok that you people poison me all the time, but i cant–

you turned your body over to us when you volunteered. we all did.

which couldnt have been a more ironic statement at the time since she was a curvy thirtysomething dark haired beauty and i was feeling as hot as gollum. bald and green and wheezing. if the xbi really wanted my body they were getting ripped off.

they are getting ripped off she esped.

no i wasnt trying to kill myself.

well according to these records you wouldnt have seen the weekend if we hadnt intervened.

he reverse esped her to see if he could.

let me show you my bra.

nothing in there is true.

stop trying to do whatever youre doing. stop trying to be in control. control is an illusion. this path isnt yours because your path is a finale and there is a long way left for you to do for us so knock it off.

and she injected the venom and it felt cold after a minute and then warm and then shocking.

stop trying to

stop trying

and i saw a flower bloom right in front of me and then die.