1. Tuesday, September 18, 2007

    have i told you that i hate everything? 

    i do. i went into my bedroom the other day and just started throwing things out. magazines. clothes. old vcrs. old dvd players. boxes. everything.

    everything is dirty. everything. everything is old and worthless. everything.

    other day this guy whispered to me

    can you help a brotha out with a dolla

    and i whispered right in his ear

    im gonna punch you so hard if you dont step.

    xbi gave me the day off today and i dont even work there any more.

    the panel went good. i got drunk last night. passed out on time. woke up on time. got to the place on time. emmanuelle was looking tres chic in this 70s dress.

    afterwards we stood outside the conference and talked and people came up to us and said how good we were and asked questions and stuff.

    i even got to talk for a good while with shepard fairey and friend of the busblog sean bonner, owner of the metroblogging empire. we talked about music and japan and art and technology.

    all the things a normal person would enjoy.

    i talked with missy suicide of the suicide girls who couldnt be nicer or more beautiful or smarter. but seriously so nice its amazing. she could be a candy store owner or a kindegarten teacher in a past life.

    had lunch with the beautiful sloane of LAist, met the dude from thrillist, a woman from flavorpill, talked to a dude from chicago who lives a mile from wrigley.

    i met two women from look look who said hi to me and i found out that sharon and dee dee either are pregnant or had babies.

    all the nice things a normal person would want to hear and meet and savor

    but all i wanted to do was go home. and for once i didnt want to work.

    devil was on my laptop wacking off to ceiling cat and tubgirl.

    somehow the entire day had come and gone and there it was 3pm and i had just started to open my gmail.

    had i completely lost my mind was the question and oui was the only thing the devil would say to anything anyways especially while fouling my coffee table so i napped before i said the wrong things to people.

    and when i woke i heard jeffery toobin who hates oj say that oj was probably set up and everything is very fishy and how can a guy with 4 felony convictions gets bail and yet oj gets no bail and might do life?

    and all i kept thinking was i hate everything and everyone and especially the people who made very sure that paris hilton was never photographed in handcuffs despite the fact that she hurtled her car down the street – MY STREETS – drunk drugged and with her lights off – definately a danger to my neighborhood.

    but the cops made a deal that if she turned herself in there would be no perp walk photo.

    scooter libby was fucking convicted while being part of an act of treason during wartime and yet i saw no pictures of handcuffs on scooter libby being led to jail

    yet all i see are pics of oj in handcuffs, strugging, limping, wincing.

    and if your hate is the size of a mustard seed, mine could move mountains.