if you dont know by now, im really old

if you dont know thats fine, cuz i always forget.

some things make me feel young, like when i can keep up with a college girl who laughs and yells and dances and then wants to bang well into the wee hours.

some things make me feel old, like when i see that today, 30 years ago, walter payton ran for 275 yards against the minnesota vikings.

what makes me feel old about that lil tidbit was i was at that fucking game.


up in the endzone. in sorta crappy seats. and the bears sucked, but because bears fans have always been real fans, the place was packed, thus the bad seats.

the bears sucked so badly that year/decade that, because i was there, i clearly remember the fact that despite the fact that sweetness ran for 275 (100 is a great game) and broke the nfl record for most yards in one game, payton didnt even score one touchdown

in fact the bears sucked so much that they almost lost the damn thing

they won 10-7

the only touchdown was a fake to walter and a pitch to Matt Suhey, good old number 26

yes thats how old i am, i remember all of that.

all the sex drugs rock in my life and that day, thirty years ago, is riveted in my brain, no matter how much pressure or consequence or blonde girls try to fuck it out of me.

so since we are remembering walter, let me tell you one more story about good old #34, of which there are many

but one day i was at the arcade. it was the early 80s. space invaders had just come out. the first real coin op video game to hit our town. before that everything was pinball.

we had several arcades, but the best one was at Green Valley Driving Range on Lake Street. walter was there for two reasons. first he was there to hit balls, but he was also there because he knew we had Space Invaders.

which i was playing when one of my friends said jesus christ tony walter fucking payton is hitting golf balls!

i was all shut up youre just trying to distract me. he was all no shit dude hes right fucking there man.

and after my quarter was done, i looked and there he was, huge calves, white tube socks, shorts, and he was creaming golf balls. putting dents in the horizon.

i ran to the golf lady and said can i please borrow a pen so i can get walters autograph? she said no, we dont want you to scare him away.

so i fucking Booked all through the tree forest to my house and grabbed a pen and ran back to the arcade as fast as i could and back then i was fast. but when i got to the parking lot i saw walters Jeep pulling out of the parking lot. apparently he was as shitty at space invaders as i was.

i ran after the jeep. walter wasnt driving. but they saw me waving and running and i saw the brake lights and they stopped! huffing and puffing i said walter youre the best ever i saw you run against minnesota for 275 youre the best can i please please have an autograph and he said sure

and when people say that Sweetness was the greatest they dont even know the meaning of the word.

but i do.

how to boost the wifi in your house with some pop cans

dont say i dont show you shit.

i fuckin show you all the shit.

the good shit.

i took my sitemeter down a few months ago, which is sorta freeing. cuz this site was never about the hits. it was always about the love. and since im so full of love right now and the wheelbarrows of cash continue to roll to my doorway, i realized i didnt need to have my blog ad strip up any more and i didnt need sitemeter.

all i need is you.

no matter if its 1 of you or 1 million and 1.

when i was a kid i wrote in spiral notebooks, or wrote little notes to my friends. when i grew up i wrote on AOL message boards, and then made websites. none of it was for money, only love. a naive melody, i know, but you cant forget to dance with who brung ya and idealism and honesty and punk rock sensibilities got me here so here we are back again, just you, me, and this thing called love.

lately my main computer has been under the weather so ive been laptopping it from my couch and whats funny is today i didnt even turn on the tv. so there was no music, no tv, nothing, just non stop writing and editing and emailing and phone calling. and here it is almost 2am and i dont wanna stop.

i am a fireplug filled with blogging juice and im spewing everything ive got straight into the sky.

one thing i have to tell you is this – when you are in a groove keep it up. walk to Subway to get a Jarred special and then run home because every now and then the shit clogs up and youve got nothing to say but when its flowing like it is now let it out.

i heart you all, even the girls with the little miniskirts in the cold.


ps i have Never been more proud to be a Gaucho