1. Sunday, November 4, 2007

    she doesnt like being called my true love 

    and maybe she isnt but there are very few people who make me feel the way she does.

    in a perfect world everyone would make me feel the way she does because for some reason she can do pretty much no wrong. she was all, hi tony i know its early but if youre there pick up.

    and i jumped outta bed and ran for the phone and it was day light savings day

    the one morning where you can sleep in one extra hour. and its a sunday. and it was a sunday where the bears werent even playing. so fer sure i was gonna sleep as long as i could.

    but when its a telephone call from africa. the mother land. the wild jungles. and its yr baby, youre happy to almost slip on a little note from another saying shes tired of your bullshit.

    join the club baby. ive been tired of my bullshit since the start which is why im hoping you cheerleaders can change something.

    hello baby. hi. hi baby. hi. the delay isnt bad. shes telling me about how she got whiplash but how the drugs have started to kick in and how this african woman gave her the full blown swedish massage of all time but it was like lifesaving.

    she told me about how the queen was coming to town and all the kids from the hospital the ones with no legs or one leg were all getting read to dance (!) for her because africans gotta dance and because when you have soul, you gotta roll.

    and she said the no legged aids kids were making her cry cuz they were so awesome and she was saying that her bootleg video shop down the road just got the Heroes season 1 dvd and she watched them all and was all omg omg OMG

    and we talked about everything and after a half hour i was all you deserve your next massage to include a happy ending and she laughed and said nah and i was all i cant wait to see you im gonna do all the things a man should do to a woman

    and she was all tony! and i was all baby i saw two girls get it on right in front of me and she said where i said in canada she said get out i said no its called ooooot get ooot. and baby two girls together hi they get their ears wet. she was all im sorry i think our connection is bad. i was all, baby no wonder we broke up i never got even one ear wet.

    but she was being honest, the connection was bad, so i called her back. i was all, baby they get their elbows wet too. and she laughed. and laughed and i dont know about a lot of things. like maybe i know one thing or two things about blogging. but i do know about love. and i love that girl with my entire heart. and its nice to know some things. sometimes.

    she said oh but ive gained so much weight and i was all gain more. i was all bring all of afrique back to me. in yr ass. i said i dont care if you have to be wheeled home in a wheel chair, as soon as you get to baggage claim im gonna knock over that wheelchair and do you right there in front of the screaming kids.

    and we were disconnected and when i called back she was still laughing because in every joke theres a grain three full inches of truth