hi Christmas Eve

funny that you and i would meet each other here at LAX.

funny no one text messages you when yr plane gets canceled.

all the technology in the world and yet after you valey your hooptie at the Wally Park and give the van driver an extra fiver to floor it, you get greeted by the automatic ticket machine that says hi your shit is totally canceled! why couldnt my iphone be the one who told me?

so my plane was canceled and the machine said hi heres another plane in two hours. no biggie. but then it said hi heres a middle seat. which was a biggie cuz im flying to chicago. then it said hi if you want six more inches its $44 and you can have a window seat.

now ask a man if he can have an extra six inches and we will say hell to the yes regardless of the price. but im a principled man. they had just canceled me shit and were gonna charge me $44 for the convenience?

so i told the dude behind the deal wtf and he said, be happy they coulda put you on the midnight flight.

no smile, no concern, no nice united style.

so i said fine, heres my money

but then the computer said hi we’re sold out. enjoy the middle seat sucker.

as i waited at the gate i walked all the way to the international gate and asked the bro if he could help a brotha out on christmas eve

he said how about a window seat in the exit row?

and tick tock the Christmas Miracles dont stop.

pictured, a paris hilton wanna be lady who was not at all pleased with anything.

ps Christie has been an angel on gchat. and raymi put a black penis on her penis tree to represent the busblog. and look my flights boarding. laters!

the best Christmas gift i coulda gotten,

i just received today

because im the cheapest of all cheapskates, years ago i ordered a “lot” of sunglasses off ebay. i had gotten lucky off a “bukowski lot” where i got like 9 books for $50. something ridiculous.

so i tried my luck at lighters, condoms, and disposable toilet scrubbers. no problems.

then i went for it with sunglasses.

i got this big box of sunglasses, most of which were freakin kids glasses. it was so lame. the box stayed in my kitchen for years. literally years.

until i talked to the best girl everz, ms chris de la uganda. the problem with sending any of her kids presents is its just like The Gods Must Be Crazy – no one can share properly so you have to find something that all 50 kids can have.

lo, there were 60 kids sunglasses in this box so i tossed them into a bigger box and hid some stuff for Chris (chocolate, batteries, memory cards) and sent them over. i think that was a year ago. today i got this letter from someone i never heard of from uganda telling me about the glasses. and she gave me several pics!

read the letter here and here. it seriously made me verklempt.

yay Christmas Miracles!

raymi is so excited that the busblog is rollin up to canada,

that shes determined to get me kicked out of my swanky hotel room. ah what the heck… only live once, eh

but the best is the comments in her post. particularily from raymster’s mom, who seriously wants to crash the bash

voici les comments:

Christie | Homepage | 12.22.07 – 1:47 pm | #

so exciting…
Duane Storey | Homepage | 12.22.07 – 1:58 pm | #

dude youre going to get spam posting addys like that.

Merry christmas!
Canopenner | Homepage | 12.22.07 – 2:24 pm | #

That would make for a really long cab ride for me.
Butchie | Homepage | 12.22.07 – 2:28 pm | #

oh canopenner you’re such a cliche.
raymi | Homepage | 12.22.07 – 2:31 pm | #

That is a really good idea…cabs are what bugs me most about NYE.
Binsk | Homepage | 12.22.07 – 2:33 pm | #

so are you saying i’m not allowed to wear tinsel if i come?
monkey | 12.22.07 – 2:41 pm | #

totally wear tinsel!
raymi | Homepage | 12.22.07 – 2:48 pm | #

heh heh, now THAT’S a sewing project challenge!
monkey | 12.22.07 – 2:51 pm | #

can’t way too poor and hitchhiking is not an option. i will try to come in to see yer artshow tho.
Krista | Homepage | 12.22.07 – 3:58 pm | #

I plan on wearing an outfit that will surely wind up soaked in martinis.

Because I spill everything.

That’s where I was going with that…
Christie | Homepage | 12.22.07 – 4:12 pm | #

May I come with my tinsel covered Cougars? Paramedic is already working in TO that night and Mermaid is coming down with her skates…
tkkerouac | Homepage | 12.22.07 – 4:38 pm | #

I’m wearing bells.

Only bells.
Duane Storey | Homepage | 12.22.07 – 4:49 pm | #

If I would have seen this 24 hours ago I would have said yes but now I’m going to Chicago to get wasted in a city where no body knows my name and where I can throw up in one of the grand historic hotels of America.
sheena | Homepage | 12.22.07 – 5:01 pm | #

no mom
raymi | Homepage | 12.22.07 – 5:06 pm | #

feel free to bring the party to dundas shouldst thu desire a change of location…
a | Homepage | 12.22.07 – 7:33 pm | #

thou not thu
a | Homepage | 12.22.07 – 7:33 pm | #

raymi | Homepage | 12.22.07 – 7:35 pm | #

herro thar
a | Homepage | 12.23.07 – 7:54 am | #

go look at Chrystals party post and you will see who the cougars are.
tkkerouac | Homepage | 12.23.07 – 2:31 pm | #

So can we come?
tkkerouac | Homepage | 12.23.07 – 3:20 pm | #

raymi | Homepage | 12.23.07 – 3:25 pm | #

what could possibly go wrong?
Pitt | Homepage | 12.23.07 – 6:02 pm | #

have a highly entertaining yule”tide”
and a superior 2008!

i’m doing f-all for nye as I’m too old but i hope you 2 have a good ‘un
Gledwood | Homepage | 12.23.07 – 8:29 pm | #

actually if i was in toronto i would make an exception and go to ur nite but where i live if we want to stay out late we have to register our request with the warden and sign a disclaimer saying the Home shall not be responsible if we fall off our zimmer frames etc etc i do feel about 90 yrs old today it is so FREEZIN COLD here hmmm…
Gledwood | Homepage | 12.23.07 – 8:37 pm | #

What could go wrong is that the cougars will show up!!!!
tkkerouac | Homepage | 12.23.07 – 10:27 pm | #

raymi | Homepage | 12.24.07 – 10:58 am | #

which lead to this email that greeted me this morn:

from: raymi lauren
to: dumbass, inc.

subject: if

if you give my mom the address and room number of this hotel party i will murder you then leave the party on the spot
i mean it