My 50 Favorite LAist Headlines of 2007

christie at thai in toronto

yes i cant wait to get back to LA to start my second week at my spanking brand new job. but what a lot of people forget is, i left a pretty awesome job, that i truly loved. one thing i loved the most was writing wacky headlines. here are my faves of ’07 – in no particular order – other than theyre mostly chronological starting with the most recent.

Exclusive Interview with The Most Deceptive Sign in LA
Scoble Wants to Punch the Designer of the Kindle
UCSB Students Dressed as Clowns Pun’k The CIA
Mr. Whipple Now Squeezing Charmin with the Angels
The State of Outdoor Ads in Hollywood Today, aka OMG
TMZ Takes Blogging to a New Low, Sponsored by AT&T
Dog the Bounty Hunter Pretty Much Hates “Niggers”
Lamar Odom Crashes the Boards Benz
Comcast Hates The Bible & Filesharing & They Lie?
Did J.K. Rowling Try To Show Her Hogwarts to Kids Yesterday at the Kodak Theatre?
Ficus? Ficyou! Emergency Meeting to Save Doomed Santa Monica Trees Set For Tonight
Sorry Craigslisters “Who Don’t Belong in Orange County”, Your Irvine Brothel Got Busted
Guy Hiking with a Guy with a Sword ends up in Hospital
Der Scorpions Vill Rock Der Gibson Tonight
Palm Springs Satanists or just Bored Kids?
Both Lanes of 101 Closed, Now Opened, But Screwed
Right Now Van Halen is Getting Even Weirder
Dead Body On the 605 Closes Freeway
One Reason Not to Jump Off a Bridge This Weekend
Stoners Volunteer to Save California by Being Taxed
Is Bud Selig a Racist or does he Just Hate Baseball?
Bart Simpson Art Determined to be seen in Hollywood
What the Funky Winkerbean?
Fake Osama Hassled in Downtown LA, Real Osama Fine
The Family that Robs Together gets Popped Together
Michael Moore’s Gross Deal is Sick
The President is Daring You to Impeach Him
Four Delicious Words: Atwater Village Cookie Contest
World’s Largest Pupusa Determined to be Made in LA
Miss USA Falls, Gets Booed, and Still Beats Mexico?
Carl’s sues Jack over Angus
Hey, You Got Salmonella in My Peanut Butter…
Thanks in part to her Husband, Hillary Clinton is Assured Much Coveted Reverse-Cowgirl Vote
Santa Monicans Told to Quit Bitching About Dogs
Hey You Got Listeria in my Oscar Mayer Louis Rich Chicken Breast Strips with Rib Meat
Interview with a dude who looked like Johnny Knoxville at the Dodger Game
“One day this shit isn’t going to be people running. One day people are gonna be prepared for police to come and fuck with them.”
Size Doesn’t Matter? Tell That to the Porno Burrito
A Mind is a Terrible thing to Smell
Mayor Tony – There’s a Snake on Yr Plane
Yahoo Mail Offers Unlimted Storage for your Spam
Did Chuck Henry Totally Diss The New Mother Yesterday Who Didn’t Know She Was Pregnant Until Two Days Before The Birth And Also Has A Dead Front Tooth?
Dodgers Bury Lede: BEER RETURNS TO BLEACHERS
Exta, Extra, Inventor of the Remote Dies – Turn Your TV On and Off 21 Times as a Salute
Monrovia Mayor Told His Campaign Manager Is A Two-Bagger
OC Cop Gets Off in Court after Masturbating on Stripper During Questionable Traffic Stop
Attention Virgins: We Might Have Found Something of Interest For You
Dear Minorities, Please Give Us Your Umbilical Cord Blood. Love, Kaiser
Why Dieting is a Fucking Bitch